Losing desire for priesthood

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ews93

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Hello,

I am currently about to wrap up my first semester in a seminary, and I am on my Thanksgiving break right now. Although I am enjoying my time in the seminary, I have gotten to the point of struggling to see myself being happy as a priest by this point. I was very much on the fence about it to begin with, and assumed that my desire for priesthood would intensify as time wore on. However, that has not happened, and I find myself thinking about marriage and fatherhood more and more, as I can see myself being very happy and fulfilled in that vocation.

To complicate matters more, an old high school friend contacted me notifying me about a non-profit position that relates to Catholic schools and school choice. My professional background, albeit limited, was mostly in the political field, and this opportunity seems like it would be right up my alley. I was already thinking about discerning out before this, but this potential opportunity arose out of nowhere, and it feels as if God is speaking to me in this way. For all I know, though, it could just be evil forces trying to lead me away from the seminary.

I feel that I would be at peace leaving the seminary, and I would like to think that my thought process is clear. I also must admit that my desire for marriage and fatherhood has always been more intense than my desire for priesthood. That being said, I fear that I may be making an emotional decision. Does anyone have any advice for me? Thanks in advance.
 
From what I know of the seminary system, you have a spiritual director assigned to you… could you maybe speak to him concerning this?
 
I’ve been meeting with him every 2-3 weeks. I’ve told him of some of my concerns, and he seems to suggest that I should go with my gut, which I feel like is pointing to discerning out. My problem, though, is that I have difficulty trusting myself and whether or not if would be the right decision.
 
Then I don’t know what to say to you other than that i’ll be praying for you… God is with you 🙂
 
Continue praying and it may be a distraction and a ploy of the devil to divert your mind from your vocation…
ews93 said:
However, that has not happened, and I find myself thinking about marriage and fatherhood more and more, as I can see myself being very happy and fulfilled in that vocation.
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You may feel you maybe happy leading a married life but you cant be sure as I am sure initially you felt the same about the priesthood due to which you applied in the first place…
 
ews93 said:
I feel that I would be at peace leaving the seminary, and I would like to think that my thought process is clear. I also must admit that my desire for marriage and fatherhood has always been more intense than my desire for priesthood.
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Well as you have said its a feeling and what we feel may not always be what is right… as many times feelings are based on emotions 🙂

Temptations always suggest themselves and only later force themselves once it has been accepted so at times instead of getting into a dialogue with thoughts it would be better to confide in Our Lord and pray before the Blessed Sacrament and to Our Lady… they are the ones who have the best solution to all our problems 😃

All this being said your feelings may also be genuine but the best option would be to wait out for sometime and keep praying to Our Lord for guidance and leave yourself to providence… sometimes waiting may resolve your doubts as you maybe experiencing a dark night of the soul.
 
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I think it may be a bit of a reach to say that the OP is experiencing dark night of the soul… He mentioned nothing about his interior prayer life, but was rather simply talking about his vocation.
 
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I did not mean to imply anything about his interior prayer life 🙂 just that at times we stop feeling the graces that God is giving us and it is then that we feel unhappy and dissatisfied… even in the case of one pursuing a vocation… but giving oneself more time and also continuing a stronger prayer life than before may prove to be of help in such situations 🙂 … just a though and I may be wrong 😃
 
I didn’t mean to attack you haha 🙂 I just think that that may be a bit of a reach is all
 
lol its fine 😛 … I did not take it as an attack 😃 what you said did make sense so was just clarifying… I have been though this myself and regret my decision…
 
There’s nothing wrong with marriage if that is what God wants you to do.
It sounds to me like you were never sure of if this was your vocation or not.

Continue to pray and do what God is calling you to do. Speak with your spiritual director.
 
I once thought (when I was in my early teens) that I might want to become a priest. As I grew older, that thought dissipated but for a long time, remained in the back of my mind. Then, in my forties, I came across an incident involving the death of a young girl (no one I has any personal relationship with), and following the story, I came to realize that I did not have the ability to function as a priest must in certain situations. It took about thirty years for that question in the back of my mind to be resolved. The Lord answers all prayers … it is just that sometimes He doesn’t do it on our timetable. Patience.
From what yo have posted, OP, I think you are discerning what direction you should take in life. I think you know the answer, you just have to face it.
Good luck and
'Shalom
 
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Why are you talking about marriage? Just because you quit school doesn’t mean you’ll get married.
 
ews93 said:
I was very much on the fence about it to begin with, and assumed that my desire for priesthood would intensify as time wore on.
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This right here tells me you already have one foot out the door.
Being a priest is a lot of sacrifice. If you’re not feelin’ it, better to bow out gracefully early on than keep trying to force yourself into a mold.
 
Keep praying about it, there are many seminarians who wanted to come out ,but at the end they became good priests ,take your time to discern, obey your Spiritual Father or spiritual Director heed to his advice.sure they will be opposite views but gradually it will come down .what if God is really calling you to be a priest .dont be in a hurry to decide .Pray through Mother Mary Lk 1:37 Nothing is impossible with God and Lk 1:38 for the will of God! A word of caution though there are few who had true vocation to the priesthood but gave up and had to suffer much in this life and in purgatory. Discern well ,pray much for this intention.God Bless

"Romans 11:29 29 for the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.

John 15:16 You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. 17 I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.

Psalm 110:4 The Lord has sworn and will not change his mind, “You are a priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek.”

Hebrews 12:12 Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, 13 and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed.
Isaiah 49:1-6Listen to me, O coastlands,pay attention, you peoples from far away!The Lord called me before I was born,while I was in my mother’s womb he named me.2 He made my mouth like a sharp sword in the shadow of his hand he hid me;he made me a polished arrow,
in his quiver he hid me away.3 And he said to me, “You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will be glorified.”
4 But I said, “I have labored in vain, I have spent my strength for nothing and vanity;yet surely my cause is with the Lord,and my reward with my God.”5 And now the Lord says,who formed me in the womb to be his servant, to bring Jacob back to him, and that Israel might be gathered to him,for I am honored in the sight of the Lord,and my God has become my strength—6 he says,“It is too light a thing that you should be my servant to raise up the tribes of Jacob and to restore the survivors of Israel I will give you as a light to the nations, that my salvation may reach to the end of the earth.”

Jeremiah 1:5-8 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,and before you were born I consecrated you;
I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”6 Then I said, “Ah, Lord God! Truly I do not know how to speak, for I am only a boy.” 7 But the Lord said to me,“Do not say, ‘I am only a boy’;for you shall go to all to whom I send you,and you shall speak whatever I command you.8 Do not be afraid of them,for I am with you to deliver you,
says the Lord.”
 
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Revelation 3:2 Wake up, and strengthen what remains and is on the point of death, for I have not found your works perfect in the sight of my God. 3 Remember then what you received and heard; obey it, and repent. If you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what hour I will come to you. 4 Yet you have still a few persons in Sardis who have not soiled their clothes; they will walk with me, dressed in white, for they are worthy. 5 If you conquer, you will be clothed like them in white robes, and I will not blot your name out of the book of life; I will confess your name before my Father and before his angels.
 
I’m sure my opinion on the topic is meaningless but to me, callings are clear.

Those that shine with the brightest spiritual light (that I’ve known) have always felt in their gut that their path was a calling and clearly defined.

There’s nothing wrong with doubt but in my mind, it requires a spiritual strength and devotion that not everyone has. They aren’t supposed to.

There is a place for us all and often, our subconscious ‘gut’ feeling is the very thing we should listen to. Not idly ignore. Have faith in yourself most of all.
 
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You might try to develop personal relationship with fellow students. You are not alone with this issue. Some people are only there for a semester or two. And that was their call. Learn what you can
 
Take this song, and assume the “her” being referenced is the vocation that one is responding to, and that gives you a pretty good idea of my experience: - YouTube

Your spiritual director is an important resource, but ultimately he can only help you see your own conclusions - his job is primarily to help you identify how the Holy Spirit is working in your life, any patterns that might exist, and how to increase the consolation through your own responses.

…in the seminary, he’s also (effectively) the one guy you can talk to without worrying about it being used against you. 😒

I’ll say this: the vast majority of guys do not have an easy time on the day-to-day, or even the longer term. Ease and happiness are not necessarily indicative of a vocation (though they do help, eh doc?); rather, does one find themselves being fulfilled by the ministry? The vocation you are currently responding to is not to be a seminarian (although you can’t ignore your current reality), but rather to be a priest.

My personal vote is you give it a summer assignment before making a decision. That being said, I do know of one friend who had a similar situation where things simply clicked and it was so obvious to him that he was called elsewhere; but again, this was after a particularly frank self-assessment of his summer and who he was in responding to the challenges and opportunities.

Most guys who are here with me would be happier as a husband and father, it’s just human nature… But again, that’s just the (unfortunate) reality of the seminary.
 
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