Marriage and the Military

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Anna2014

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Hello, I am new to these forums. I used to listen to this station years ago, but I have come back today
because I have an important question and I was hoping someone could help point me in the right direction to an answer.

I am 24 years old, female, Catholic, and am in the process of enlisting in the US Air Force. I have a boyfriend to whom I have been dating steady for about 2 1/2 years now. He is also Catholic, and is looking to enlist in the US Air Force as well. Anyhow, we have been seriously discussing marriage, (We’re not “formally” engaged because there would be some unwanted “drama” if we did get engaged at this present time.)

However, I plan to leave for basic training by the beginning of August this year.

For those whom might be not be aware, basic training is about a 2 month affair. Once I graduate, the US Air Force provides a chapel for couples to be married in. Is there some way my boyfriend and I could be married by a priest without going through the six month preparation classes? We cannot attend these classes because of our conflicting work/school schedules, and because we both live about an hour’s drive away from each other. I want our marriage to be done as a sacred sacrament, but I am worried that we might not have that choice. (If we don’t marry before I go to Tech School, then we’ll be separated.)

And if we don’t get married in the church, how would our marriage be recognized? Again, if the situation was different, I’d see what we could do, but there are reasons why I cannot wait any longer to enlist.
 
Speak to your pastor now. He may be able to arrange something the Air Force Catholic Chaplain (part of the Diocese of the Armed Forces).

Don’t start marriage off by violating the Church laws wrt marriage.
 
What are the current regulations regarding married couples enlisting at the same time?
You have a couple of issues to face. You don’t want an invalid enlistment, if current regulations stand against married couples enlisting at the same time. That was the case in 1980. Regulations do change.
Second, there is no need to go around pre-marital planning. Just as there are issues, there are also options, especially if you plan to wait until after you have finished Basic and Advanced Training before marriage.
Do you plan to marry in your or his home parish?
Do you plan a military wedding?
Before my husband and I married, because there were no formal classes set up at the time, arrangements were made for married couples to provide individualized classes for us. These couples provided us with information that a young couple just starting out might need, including practical advice like life insurance. We met individually and together with the priest to answer the questions determining suitability for marriage. Parents who lived in a different city received paperwork for the diocese, and likewise answered questions, as did neighbors. As students, we could not get married on campus (apparently it is now allowed), but had to register at a nearby parish.
Our marriage had nothing to do with the military, but nonetheless required following certain protocols before we were allowed to marry.

As already mentioned. The military does have Catholic chaplains. Finding a way to marry a fellow Catholic within the military will not be an issue. My oldest brother married my sister-in-law while both were serving in the Navy.
You can definitely marry in accordance with canonical form while serving in the military.
 
Anna2014 said:
For those whom might be not be aware, basic training is about a 2 month affair. Once I graduate, the US Air Force provides a chapel for couples to be married in. Is there some way my boyfriend and I could be married by a priest without going through the six month preparation classes? We cannot attend these classes because of our conflicting work/school schedules, and because we both live about an hour’s drive away from each other. I want our marriage to be done as a sacred sacrament, but I am worried that we might not have that choice. (If we don’t marry before I go to Tech School, then we’ll be separated.)
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Hi, I am currently on active duty in the USAF (13 years in). The Air Force, as an organization, will not be a hindrance to anyone getting married, rather the regulations fully support marriage and allowance of leave etc to accomplish it. The only regulations I found dealing with this is AFI 36-2909 “Professional & Unprofessional Relationships” http://static.e-publishing.af.mil/production/1/af_ja/publication/afi36-2909/afi36-2909.pdf

Now, if you want to get married at Lackland I’d recommend you call l the chaplain office and explain the situation http://www.jbsa.mil/Resources/Chaplain-Services/JBSA-Lackland-Chaplain/

I’m sure they’ve seen it all and I’m betting they have a procedure in place to deal with this, they’ll probably want you to complete counseling before you report for training and have it documented so they can perform the marriage.

Congratulations and best of luck on your marriage and Air Force career!
 
Anna2014 said:
Hello, I am new to these forums. I used to listen to this station years ago, but I have come back today
because I have an important question and I was hoping someone could help point me in the right direction to an answer.

I am 24 years old, female, Catholic, and am in the process of enlisting in the US Air Force. I have a boyfriend to whom I have been dating steady for about 2 1/2 years now. He is also Catholic, and is looking to enlist in the US Air Force as well. Anyhow, we have been seriously discussing marriage, (We’re not “formally” engaged because there would be some unwanted “drama” if we did get engaged at this present time.)

However, I plan to leave for basic training by the beginning of August this year.

For those whom might be not be aware, basic training is about a 2 month affair. Once I graduate, the US Air Force provides a chapel for couples to be married in. Is there some way my boyfriend and I could be married by a priest without going through the six month preparation classes? We cannot attend these classes because of our conflicting work/school schedules, and because we both live about an hour’s drive away from each other. I want our marriage to be done as a sacred sacrament, but I am worried that we might not have that choice. (If we don’t marry before I go to Tech School, then we’ll be separated.)

And if we don’t get married in the church, how would our marriage be recognized? Again, if the situation was different, I’d see what we could do, but there are reasons why I cannot wait any longer to enlist.
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Good news: you won’t have any problems.

Both of you need to work with the Catholic Chaplains (regardless of who your unit chaplains might be, there will always be a Catholic priest assigned for your pastor care, even if he’s not your specific unit chaplain).

The military Archdiocese handles situations like this every day. They are very well prepared to help you work through the details.

You will still have to do the pre-cana preparation, but the Archdiocese has several options for you do to this, and it’s just a matter of choosing which option best suits both of you.

Yes, you can get married in a base chapel, and yes, by a Catholic priest. Everything will be valid and licit.

No worries!
 
That’s why there are Catholic Chaplains.

If the marriage is officiated by a Catholic Chaplain it will be both valid and licit (assuming everything else is in order, of course). There’s no need for a dispensation from canonical form.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Speak to your pastor now. He may be able to arrange something the Air Force Catholic Chaplain (part of the Diocese of the Armed Forces).

Don’t start marriage off by violating the Church laws wrt marriage.
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There are no “violations” The Archdiocese for the Military is perfectly capable of marrying a couple, just like any other diocese.

Once she is actually on active duty, the OP’s proper pastor will be the Catholic USAF Chaplain.
 
The violation was the line “And if we don’t get married in the church, how would our marriage be recognized”.

Best to simply do it the right way from day one.
 
TheLittleLady said:
The violation was the line “And if we don’t get married in the church, how would our marriage be recognized”.
Click to expand...
No.

That has to be put into context. The OP is asking about using a military chapel. Such a marriage happens under the jurisdiction of the Archdiocese for the Military and is considered perfectly valid and licit. It is not “outside the church”–it is a Catholic wedding in every way, shape, and form.

The OP simply did not know at the time she posted that what she was asking about is a perfectly legitimate, licit, and valid Catholic marriage.
Best to simply do it the right way from day one.
Click to expand...
Contacting the military Catholic Chaplain is exactly the right way. Once she enters active duty, the military Catholic Chaplain will be her proper canonical pastor.
 
Fr. David, you came right to the point regarding what I was trying to say.
I was having a little difficulty understanding whether or not the OP was planning to marry as a member of the military, or as a civilian.
There are indeed many options available. My Confirmation was received on a military base. Most of my family has served in the military, and I understand the Jurisdiction of the Archdiocese of the Military. One brother was serving overseas when married. The oldest married another service member.
The first thing my father asked for, upon my marriage was my military dependent ID.
I’m glad that you were able to give the OP the reassurance she needs that she can indeed be validly married while serving in the United States military. The Sacraments are available to service members and their dependents.
 
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