Marrying your soulmate

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DD1433

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Does anyone feel they’ve truly married their soulmate? I was told long ago to pray for my future husband and/or soulmate. I’m super interested in hearing testimonies on Christians praying for their spouse before they met, and the outcome.
 
In middle school and high school I would get infatuated with one person and pray for the opportunity to date them, but I never ended up dating anyone. In the last couple months of high school, I realized that I was praying wrong. Thinking towards the next phase of my life that would come after graduating high school, I started praying to meet whoever God wanted me to be with. In my first month of college I became friends with and then started dating someone, and now we have been together 4 years and are engaged.
 
I don’t understand how you can have a spouse that isn’t your best friend. Or did you just mean that he is your best friend and more?
 
he is not my best friend (I have friends for that)
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That seems kind of depressing to me. Why would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you don’t even consider to be your best friend? A solid foundation of friendship seems to be a really important aspect to a good marriage.
 
Awe, that’s amazing. Congratulations! I too have been praying for God to bless me with the man He feels is best for me.
 
I guess I kinda understand what you mean. I guess I just use the concept of friendship more loosely. To me what I have with my significant other is the ultimate friendship. I still describe relationships as friendships even when they are more than friendships. Like cousins are family, but I have great friendships with some of my cousins, while other cousins are distant.
 
“We may not have it all together but together we have it all”.

Nice!

Mind if I ask how you two met?
 
I’m not big on the term “soulmate”. I don’t really want a “soulmate”, I want somebody who makes me laugh and helps pay bills and take care of the pets.

I would say I married the only person I could probably be married to. I am quite sure it was arranged by God as God is the only one who could have finessed me into actually going down an aisle and marrying some bloke.
 
Wow! That’s quite a journey. That’s truly beautiful, especially the writing to each other back and forth! Thanks for sharing!
 
I don’t think one size fits all for finding a soulmate. I have been married for 39 years. We knew each other for two years before we got married, but we were only in the same town, able to go on dates and spend time for less than three weeks that whole time. The rest was telephone calls and letters. I chose her to be my wife because I loved her, yes, but also because I thought I should be married and she seemed like the sensible choice. My parents knew her parents, similar upbringing, similar views on life. But for most of our marriage I did not see her as a best friend or a soulmate. It’s just the way it was. We went on to have two great daughters, both doctoral degreed professional women, both married to great guys.

This past year we were separated and almost got divorced. But we both had epiphanies about our relationship. We got back together and now things are 180 degrees better than they have ever been. I know now that she became my best friend and soulmate during all those years. I just needed the separation to realize it. We have known other people who started out as soulmates, but things went horribly wrong afterwards, sometimes not long afterwards. And I am sure there are people who start as soulmates and stay that way, but I think they are few and far between.

I guess what I’m saying is that you never know. Sometimes soulmates come together, but sometimes they develop. I don’t think you are likely to really know a person well enough up front to tell. It might seem that way, but it could be that you are looking at them through “love goggles.” It’s important to realize that marriage, friendship and true soul-mating is a process you both have to work at the whole rest of your life, whether it starts that way or not.

I would bet on a couple who had that as a goal, were willing to work at it and had a clear plan to work at it, than a couple for whom that just seemed to fall into place up front and it came easy. Both kinds of couples will have good times and bad, but the latter couple will not know how to improve their relationship during the good and how to weather the bad. Just my two cents, worth every penny.
 
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jfz178 said:
Sometimes soulmates come together, but sometimes they develop.
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I firmly believe that, within a healthy marriage, spouses become each other soulmates.

Souls and bodies are attracted to each other, and this attraction solidifies, changes, and grows stronger. And you become soulmates.
 
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“Soulmate” is not part of Catholic teaching.

A married a man of virtue, my friend and my companion in this world.
 
Vonsalza said:
There’s no such thing. We’re all just real people.

Don’t unduly over-burden your spouse with unrealistic expectations before you’ve even met them! 😉
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EXACTLY

I often think society may have been better off when marriages were arranged, with an eye towards providing some financial and social stability. People’s expectations were different, and many couples grew to love each other. I actually have had two friends from other cultures who made “arranged” marriages and both of them were quite happy with the result.
 
All marriages are “arranged” by someone, so I don’t understand what you are saying. You wish your parents told you who to marry? As far as an eye towards financial and social stability, I don’t know anybody that doesn’t want financial and social stability, but they definitely should not be the grounds of receiving the sacrament of Holy Matrimony.
 
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