I have three practical suggestions:
- The missal presumes that you have done your homework. Learn more about the Mass…that is, the parts that make up the Order of the Mass, what is happening in each part, why it is structured in the way it is, where the rituals came from and what they mean, how it changes from one liturgical season to the next, and so on. Learn about how the liturgical year works.
If you are only understanding about 1/10th of what you hear, of course it is harder to pay attention. (And the more you learn, the more you’ll realize you probably only appreciated about 1/100th of what is in the Mass.) By all means, start with a good book about the Mass. I have not read it, but if I am not mistaken, Karl Keating has written a book on the subject.
- Assisting at Mass is more than standing, sitting, and vocally responding at the right times. Listen actively. Listen to the readings as if Father was going to ask you about what was proclaimed. (At our parish, Father sometimes does this during his homily, then teases us about the number of us who have to go back and rifle the missal for the answers!) Better yet, read and reflect upon the readings before you come to Mass, so that you can make eye contact with those reading. There is nothing more depressing than proclaiming the Word of God to a sea of heads turned down to the page or half asleep or looking vaguely around the church as if wishing they were anywhere else than where they were.
Listen to the homily as if you were planning on repeating the main points to someone else or had the assignment of writing an essay on the reflections presented…which I learned to do because I had a friend whose pastor was an awful homilist and my friend wanted to know what my pastor had said.
Likewise, you can find the other parts of the parts that change from week to week on the internet. The opening prayer may touch you more if you have read it before you came.
As you do this, the practice will pull you into listening actively during more and more of the Mass. The words will touch you more, in spite of problems in their delivery and other distractions around you.
- Cultivate a gratitude that you can be there. This is one “advantage” that those have who have left the Church and come back over those who have spent years as absentees in all but body. When you sing the Gloria–reflect on how you love God, put a smile on your face, and glorify God! Do this even if it is a matter of “Well, my life isn’t what I’d like, but this much is still great… You are still great, and all power, honor, and glory is still Yours, and that much will never change.”
Also, consider that you may be sleepwalking through life, always needing entertainment, a project, or some other stimulation to get one eye open. It may be that your prayer life and general and Mass in particular are the places where you can’t escape the fact. This goes beyond a spiritual fault to a spiritual illness, something for which you may need to seek healing.
It may also be that you let yourself get so physically or mentally exhausted that you are not able to mount the physical and mental effort required to remain attentive during Mass. “Liturgy” is the work of the faithful. Don’t kid yourself into thinking it takes no toll on you. You need to save some resources within in order to do it. If you find it difficult, examine whether you are caring for yourself well enough.
The tempter will encourage you to avoid the place where the symptoms of your spiritual sleepwalking become obvious even to you. Also, sometimes even those very far advanced spiritually will go through periods of spiritual dryness. During these times religious duties are the first things to seem a chore. Do not punish yourself for spiritual dryness or try to conjure up your own emotional comfort. What is needed is to remain faithful. If you are doing all you can do to be present during Mass and still find it a trial to stay attentive, remain faithful, anyway. Give your best, even if it doesn’t seem like enough. God is pleased with such a sacrifice.
