Habitual sins of impurity are very tough to kick. I don’t want to discourage anyone, but don’t be surprised if this is something you’ll have to contend with for the rest of your life. Alcoholics could tell us a lot about this struggle, if only because society tends to be more open to hearing the stories of recovering alcoholics than it is those of sex addiction in it’s various forms.
If I had any advice, it would be to keep the line of communication open with your confessor. Accountability is very important, as is having someone you can be completely honest with about something so personal. I’d also recommend sticking to a single confessor if at all possible - find someone you’re comfortable with and stick with them. The reason for this is, they will understand your particular problem and where you are in your struggle; someone with some knowledge of your history will have a context within which to help you, which will simply be lacking if you keep changing confessors.
I’d also suggest doing a little thinking about why you have a problem with this sin. While on the surface it is an issue of seeking pleasure, if you look deeper I think you’ll find something else. Many times people use unlawful pleasures (whether it be this, or over-eating/gluttony, drinking heavily, etc.) to either fill a painful void in their lives, or to mask/dull some deep hurt. I’m not saying that those who suffer from this addiction necessarily have had “traumatic lives”, at least more so most other folks (though this could be the case as well.) But I know with a lot of men, such addictions form because it’s an easy (even if it’s very superficial and doesn’t last) way to mask deep seated feelings of loneliness and isolation - for the brief period they’re indulging these sins, they can “feel” wanted, desirable, and fulfilled. Unfortunately, what self abuse really ends up doing is worsening that condition - since it is in fact a solitary activity, and all of our temporarily feelings associated with it are in fact delusional. If anything, it harms our ability to have natural, healthy relationships, not simply with the opposite sex (and most particularly our spouses, whether we’re currently married or plan on this in the future) but oddly enough even with other people in general (though this effect is more subtle and long term.)
I have a great deal of sympathy with this very common problem; I think if the facts came to the light of day, people would be shocked to find out how common various forms of sex addiction have become in our society. Were we to replace “booze” or “drugs” for “sexual sins” we’d realize we have a societal pandemic on our hands.
