Mother's Day Gift Ideas when you aren't close

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DisorientingSneeze

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I’m stumped. Sometimes I have a gift idea that thoughtfully includes the grandchildren or one of her interests, but this year I’m just stumped.

I can’t go with any of the thoughtful prefab stuff because its sugary sweetness makes if feel like a lie that stabs at my guts. My mother and I are not close. A lifetime of her indiscriminate gossip made it evident it was never emotionally safe to be close to her. I see her frequently and am not sure she is even aware that she and I don’t know eachother as people. I can’t go to her with important things, and I won’t help her gossip about others, so we have so little to talk about.

So. I’m fishing for ideas here. Any Mother’s day gift ideas from an adult daughter are greatly appreciated. I’ve collected enough positive attributes to write a respectably heartfelt card, but I feel like there needs to be a gift.
 
Could you opt for something traditional, like flowers? Or would you prefer something a little more personal?

Perhaps you could buy her an experience, if you see what I mean. Here in the UK something that is growing in popularity is buying something like an ‘afternoon tea’ experience, which is basically cakes and drinks at a fancy hotel or somewhere like that. I’m not sure that they do them where you are! But if there was something similar you could do that for you and her, or gift it to her and suggest she take a friend. That’s if she appreciates something along those lines - I know my mother definitely wouldn’t 😆. But I have friends whose mothers do.
 
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Generic flowers, or a cookie mix or something. Don’t worry so much about sincere gifts to people it isn’t safe to actually be sincere with.
 
DarkLight said:
I have experience. In my case it’s more that I’ll just get ripped apart for anything she doesn’t like. But I’m telling myself that too.
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I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve read some of your posts here on CAF and I really admire your strength. Truly, I do.
 
Hello.

I got my mother a pair of oven mitts that look like bear claws from Amazon and left a note saying happy mother’s day on the label.

Am struggling with a huge amount of resentment and unforgiveness with my mother.

Hope this helps, if not, just ignore it.

Please pray for me.
 
Have a Mass said for her.

Subscription boxes are a good gift (not sure what your price range is) depends on what she is “into”.

There are boxes for beauty/cosmetics/skincare like Boxycharm, Ipsy, Play!, Birchbox.

For perfume there is Scentbird

There are fitness boxes and yarn boxes and fruit of the month boxes.

A gift card to a restaurant or to the movies is nice. Season passes to a museum are nice.

ETA The gift guides on Buzzfeed or Amazon can help.
 
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