My Protestant bf broke with me

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shanishani7

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I am so hurt… We have been together for a few months, before together he knew I am a devout catholic and I knew he is a devout baptist/ protestant. These days I told him if anyone marry a catholic, there is a rule in Catholic Church that the children need to get baptised as Catholic, and learnt and practice Catholic Faith. He said it’s okay at first, but today he mentioned that he want to have wedding in Protestant Church, I said it’s a rule that if one is a Catholic, the wedding also need to be held in Catholic Church.
I am too silly to explain all truth like Catholic Church is the only True Church…etc … Then he frankly told me he could not walk with me to the end (marriage), because he cannot accept that his children be baptised as Catholic and grown up in Catholic Faith. Later, he even broke up with me…

Yesterday we still were good… today suddenly broke with me because of this. I am so hurt and sad… Is it real that if one is a catholic, the wedding needs to be held in Catholic Church? And the children need to baptised as Catholic?
I think I have no choice as it’s the rule of church?

Anyone please give me comment, should I still keep this relationship (tried to talk to him discuss or hold wedding in Protestant Church/ let children not baptised)?

Or just let it go??

I really do not want to lose him, he is a good man, it’s just because he does not have enough understanding on Catholicism and believe wrong Church only… We get along well in other aspects…
 
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Interfaith relationships can be very challenging… in my experience better to let it go but pray for guidance
 
shanishani7 said:
Yesterday we still were good… today suddenly broke with me because of this. I am so hurt and sad… Is it real that if one is a catholic, the wedding needs to be held in Catholic Church? And the children need to baptised as Catholic?

I think I have no choice as it’s the rule of church?
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Those are the rules, if you wanna stay in full communion with the Church.
 
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shanishani7 said:
Or just let it go??

I really do not want to lose him, he is a good man, it’s just because he does not have enough understanding on Catholicism and believe wrong Church only… We get along well in other aspects…
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I guess it depends on how important Catholicism is to you personally.
 
Be happy this did not flare up after the wedding. I’ve seen that before. It’s an ugly situation. Better to move on now. Not every non-Catholic man will be so closed minded about your faith. This intolerance says a great deal about what your marriage would have been like.
 
Give your bf points for being honest, because it’s good to know these things before you get married.
Then close the book on this chapter of your life, hard as it may be, and go find a new bf who shares your religious values.

If he is not willing to have your wedding in the Catholic Church and raise the kids Catholic, that’s a deal breaker.
I was married to a Protestant for 23 years (he died). We had a good marriage. One reason it was good is he did not have any problem with either of the above things. If he had, we would not have gotten married.
 
So your husband married you (your marriage) in Catholic Church? And your children were all baptised Catholics?
 
Before letting it go, pray, fast, seek God on it if you haven’t already. God wants us to ask-that’s an aspect of our faith. And the more we really care, the more earnest is our prayer. We usually do that last even though we should do it first. And you might not have a real alternative anyway, especially since trying to “fix” it usually just makes a bigger mess. And compromising does the same thing. Anyway, He might surprise you.
 
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Yes, he married me in the Catholic Church at a Nuptial Mass with both of our families there. His mother and father were Presbyterian and his brother and sister-in-law were Baptist. He did have a Catholic uncle and aunt and his mother had been a Catholic before she switched to Presbyterian to marry his father.

Yes, he agreed in front of the priest to baptize and raise the children Catholic. The priest asked him and he agreed. I know he would have done so, he and I had talked about it and he was fine with it. We ended up not having any children because physically it turned out we couldn’t.
 
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In all Marriage, there is a sense of compromise. If you wish to try, you could ask him to learn more about Catholicism with an open mind before turning away from the idea completely. He may grow to be more understanding.

However, it is a good thing to know about this now and not later. Also, if a partner is not willing to understand your faith or even try, it does indeed say something about them and what your marriage could be like if there is not growth in your marriage.
 
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Break ups can be very sad- I’m sure he is sad too. He may have done you a favour though to end things before you had dated for years and years- now you can take time to heal and eventually find a boyfriend who is Catholic and shares your beliefs and will be joyful to have a beautiful catholic wedding and raise children catholic. Never compromise your beliefs for a guy. I hope you feel better soon.
 
You said he’s a good man. But he’s not that good. He flipped the script on you and now is trying to manipulate you into giving up what you believe for him.

LEt him go
 
shanishani7 said:
Is it real that if one is a catholic, the wedding needs to be held in Catholic Church? And the children need to baptised as Catholic?

I think I have no choice as it’s the rule of church?
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No, it doesn’t have to be a wedding in a Catholic Church but must be approved by the Church (a dispensation) if held elsewhere.

Yes, you need to do all that you can to raise your children in the faith.

You do have a choice, but good for you for learning this now instead of later. You shouldn’t shackle yourself to someone who can’t respect your faith.
 
So sorry to hear this. Is there any real happy answer to your predicament?
  1. While dating, people often go through a phase 3-4 months in called “R&R”. It stands for “Redefine the Relationship”. It’s where men and woman stop saying just romantic things and say how they really feel. He may have been OK with you being Catholic when it wasn’t serious, now he’s being honest.
  2. My suggestion is to not be with someone who is anticatholic. I’m sure that would be the answer everyone has here.
  3. Myself, I wouldn’t waste too much time. Ask him to consider reading
    • “Rome Sweet Home”, Scott hanh
    • Patrick Madrid on the Relevant Radio app
    • Fulton Sheen Catechism on the Fulton Sheen app.
  4. If he’s too closed minded to even listen to reason, then dump him. It’s easier said than done. We are here for you.
  5. Date a new guy that IS Catholic. I recommend Catholicmatch.com
 
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