Natural Family Planning Help Please

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PrayingHands1

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I just submitted this question to the ACW podcast, but wanted to ask here as well:
My husband and I have a question about how we are using NFP. Our understanding has grown over the years since we’ve been married, but I’m confused about whether I need to go to confession on a certain matter. We have serious reasons to avoid another pregnancy, because of my poor health, so we should be abstaining during my fertile period, but in being physically intimate with one another, sometimes we decide to go ahead and have intercourse, and he communicates to me when he needs to stop, so as not to orgasm, so I do not become pregnant…We learned relatively recently, that even though he’s not achieving an orgasm, that I could still become pregnant, so we’re discerning/praying/talking about how we can be physically intimate without the potential risk of pregnancy/risk of my/baby’s health.
But, my question is, since we are having intercourse, and he stops himself, often times I do not reach orgasm while he is inside me, so he has stimulated me to the point of orgasm after he stops himself, so that I can still reach orgasm. Is this okay to do, since it is occurring in the overall context of sex?? Or, is that wrong, and I need to go to confession, because I can only climax if he also has the opportunity to climax? We know not every sexual encounter HAS to end in orgasm, but am I allowed to if he has not also had the opportunity? We’re so confused… I realize now I shouldn’t even have put myself in a situation where I could get pregnant if it is too risky, and we are working through that, with God’s help, but now I’m also concerned about the need for confession regarding the matter I outlined
 
What you are talking about is known as the “sin of Onanism”. Intentionally ending the marital act prior to your husband’s climax is a contraceptive action.

Accidents happen, however we must intend for each act to be ordered toward procreation.

Sit down and talk to your NFP Method instructor about the most conservative practice of your chosen method, then, sit down with your priest. He will talk about your culpability. If you did not know an act was sinful, you are not fully culpable.
 
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There is nothing objectionable in the post and it is par for the course here. I thought the OP used correct and unobjectionable language. I do wish there was an 18 year old policy here though.
 
Confess. And since you are dealing with NFP and serious health issues you need to educate yourself well on NFP use so it is effective and moral aspects so your soul and marriage is as healthy as can be too.
 
Of course not. I wouldnt let my 13 year old on CAF or any social media. One reason might be that CAF is not a good resource for someone who is being modeled in the faith. There are orthodox and heterodox opinions here. But that being said, your beef should be with CAF policy. We have threads discussing masturbation and sexual abuse of clergy. This thread is quite common and tame in comparison. And the OP was not vulgar. There are many NFP threads and I cant imagine a 13 year old seeking them out. However, I hope you did not flag anything because this is an important topic being discussed as tastefully as can be. I understand you may not like the subject matter but you dont have to participate. Out of curiosity, do you have advice for the OP?

I do agree with you that there is an unresolved issue with underage users. But that issue is a CAF issue not a this poster or this subject or this verbiage issue…
 
I think a person seeking the Catholic position in asking a question is entitled to an answer in line with the Church teaching on sexuality, and the marital act which is a holy and sacramental act.
 
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My advice would be to stay away from threads that will offend you.

If a 13 year old is given access to the internet by their parents, I promise you that 13 year old has been exposed to graphic content orders of magnitude more than what is in these honest questions.
 
the problem I see is you ask the wrong question, because you are not aware enough to the Church position on human sexuality.
You can read humana vitae, theology of the body to start.

So to begin, there is not moral way to do something sexual which is not an intercouse which end in the natural manner which permits to procreate.

Your only option is to use infertile periods if you want union wit your husband but want decrease your chance of pregnancy. In fertile period, abstain, pure and simple.

If you want to be very legalistic, in traditional theology, what you describe, reservata, is not of exactly of the same moral weight that withdrawal, because no seed is deliberately lost, but indeed, Pope Pius XII, show he disaproved it, and the current official theology does not accept it at all.
TheLittleLady said:
What you are talking about is known as the “sin of Onanism
Click to expand...
to be more precise, what is traditionally called as “conjugal onanism”. With this label alone, people would think to another issue.
 
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