No one talks about miscarriage. But we could

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I am so sorry for your loss. How recent was this? It is important to discuss this. You nor anyone else should be ashamed of their miscarriages.
 
One day you’re pregnant, suddenly you’re not. I miscarried around 9 weeks. I don’t know if my baby ever had a heart beat - it was 33 years ago. I just remember being home alone and feeling so empty - some part of me was missing. The hardest part was being left with nothing.
 
I do think it is talked about if you look for it. Many women have them and ive heard them discussed at work, in family settings. With friends etc. My wife had one between baby 5 and 6… the depression it set off was incredibly dark and powerful. Prayers for you.
 
I remember how sad my mother was when I was little, and baby Pauline was stillborn. I knew from a young age how traumatic the loss of her unborn baby can be.
I was young enough to think, but old enough not to say, “why is Mummy so sad. She didn’t know the baby.”
That, though, is part of the sorrow of loss.
That other part is, yes she does know the baby, more intimately than anyone else on earth, and she is mourning that little person, her precious child.

May God console each of you mothers who lost your little ones before they had the chance to be in your arms.
 
I lost my little boy at 16 weeks he would be 10 this year id do anything to be able to see him
 
My first child was lost in an ectopic pregnancy. He’s buried with my fallopian tube. He would be four this July, we named him after St Nicholas since that was the day my tube ruptured and I had surgery.
 
Sometimes women feel more comfortable in a woman-only environment.
 
My now husband ( then partner) wasn’t allowed time off work to attend the funeral beacuse according to his work it wasn’t an actual baby its what broke us up in the end I accused him of not caring and after having 1 child born at 23 weeks and then a miscarriage him working an hour and a half - 2 hours away and him living at his parents I felt so alone it got to the point I hated him for making me feel like that and I hated him for not comming to the funeral ( I wanted a proper burial for my perfect little boy)
I hated him for him not being there when I needed him most.
 
I’m so sorry for this @Brenea. It must have been horrible for you to go through this alone. I don’t know how long ago this was, but I pray you’ve been able to overcome your feelings of hatred. “According to his work” it galls me that an employer can make these decisions, decide who is “immediate family” and such. When my doctor met with us to confirm my miscarriage, he asked if we had any questions. My now EX husband asked, “how will she lose the weight she’s gained.” Thought my doc would punch him 😉
 
My mother lost a child to miscarriage, but I never knew about it until I was an adult, when my sister told me. This would have been her first daughter, she had only boys until then, probably didn’t want to talk about it with the sons but she did tell her daughter. She had given the girl a name, and I added her to our family tree.
 
NeedANap said:
My first child was lost in an ectopic pregnancy. He’s buried with my fallopian tube. He would be four this July, we named him after St Nicholas since that was the day my tube ruptured and I had surgery.
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At the litteral sense?
seriousely, the hospital gave you the tissue and embryo that had been remooved surgically?

sorry if my question is hurting.
 
As far as I know, yes, they cremated everything and gave it to the funeral home for us.
 
Thanks you. I have never heard of something like that after an ectopic pregnancy.
I suppose it depends of the laws of the country.

where i lived a unborn child cannot berecognized civilly before 12 weeks, so no burial is possible before.
 
Every group of women I’ve been involved with, both in real life and online, we have talks about miscarriage. We encourage our friends, comfort our friends, we share our own stories.

I’m sorry if our OP, @JimG 's circle of confidants don’t talk about it 😦
 
It must. We do not have a death certificate or anything, so I’m assuming there are no records of our child officially, but in our area we were allowed to have the remains buried in a Catholic cemetery.
 
that must be a relieve! That the remains are not treated as medical vast.

In France, an unborn child/stillborn of more than 12 weeks cannot have a death certificate, because he is never born alive, but can be mentionned in civil family bulletin if he result to a miscarriage, or a medical termination. if the parents wishes. that allow funeral rites.
 
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I had a miscarriage 22 years ago at 16 weeks. I tell people i have two children, one in heaven and one still with me on earth. I also used to tell my daughter that she had a special person in Heaven looking out for her (other than her guardian angel) her older brother.

This prayer by Mother Angelica might provide some solace in a time of sorrow. https://www.ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayers/miscarriage.htm

You never really get over it, just like when someone you love dies, but you do find a way to carry on. I was able to get pregnant again the same year that I miscarried and today that child is a 21-year old successful adult and so without that loss, I wouldn’t have the child I have now.

As to whether it is talked about or not, that’s usually up to the mom and dad. I talk about it occasionally, usually in commiseration with someone who has gone through it recently, and do not find people to be anything other than compassionate.
 
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I had 4 miscarriages between my twins and my youngest. No one in our lives wanted to talk about it. We eventually stopped telling people because they didn’t even acknowledge when we did tell them. Ironically, I got the most support from friends online who are generally not religious.
 
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