Pleasure in marital sex

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smileypants707

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Hello everyone,

I am a non-Catholic follower of Christ looking for some clarification on the taboo topic of marital sex; as interpreted by the Catholic church.

Do I understand correctly that the Catholic church views marital sex as ONLY for the purpose of procreation? And that having monogamous sex with your spouse for the sole purpose of intimate pleasure is a mortal sin?
 
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The Church does not forbid married couples from taking pleasure in sex, nor from having sex for the purpose of pleasure.
Marital sex has two purposes: procreative and unitive. It is right that husband and wife share pleasure with one another.
 
The Catechism says it well:
2360 Sexuality is ordered to the conjugal love of man and woman. In marriage the physical intimacy of the spouses becomes a sign and pledge of spiritual communion. Marriage bonds between baptized persons are sanctified by the sacrament.

2362 “The acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouses takes place are noble and honorable; the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude.” Sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure:

The Creator himself . . . established that in the [generative] function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment. They accept what the Creator has intended for them. At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation.
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When I was younger, I was taught that having children was the primary purpose of sex, but that there were other ends too. (Looking back, I see the first two posts here say that too.)
According to Catholic belief, there is nothing wrong with sex or with the pleasure that comes with it. But there is a time and place for everything–which in this case is marriage.
I have been a Catholic for 60 years and have kept up on Catholic theological thought. I have never heard that a focus on marital sex for the sake of pleasure is a moral sin, or a sin at all. (Though I would think this a limited view of sex in marriage.)
I think God created sex so that there would be great pleasure with it because otherwise the human race could die out, or at least men would not populate the earth. People maybe then would focus on their stamp collection instead for example. --But this is just my opinion, not something the Church teaches.
 
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Excuse me if this is too, how do I say, specific… But what about foreplay? Does [biblical] sex only consist of intercourse?
 
Does “within the limits of just moderation” suggest that too much pleasure is not permitted or that the means of having pleasure must be limited? Is the phrase intentionally vague?
 
smileypants707 said:
Excuse me if this is too, how do I say, specific… But what about foreplay? Does [biblical] sex only consist of intercourse?
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You’ll find some Catholics who insist otherwise, but the Church has no current prohibition on or discouragement of foreplay, and I think it’s even implied as valid in John Paul II’s theology of the body. The union should still be completed in a way consistent with how the act should be ordered, though.
 
I take it to be the Catechism’s way of avoiding giving the impression that anything and everything goes and is permissible simply because two people are married.

What those “limits” are in specific terms, I don’t know that all Catholics agree. And I tend to avoid those conversations. 😳 😝
 
Thank you for clarifying! I appreciate being able to clear this up with actual Catholics in a civilized manner.
 
That paragraph is a quote from a discourse of Pius XII to the midwives of Rome on 29 Oct 1951. The sentence in which it occurs is actually not the conclusion of a paragraph but rather the beginning of another paragraph:
Nevertheless, here also, husband and wife must know how to keep themselves within the limits of a just moderation. As with the pleasure of food and drink so with the sexual they must not abandon themselves without restraint to the impulses of the senses. The right rule is this: the use of the natural procreative disposition is morally lawful in matrimony only, in the service of and in accordance with the ends of marriage itself. Hence it follows that only in marriage with the observing of this rule is the desire and fruition of this pleasure and of this satisfaction lawful. For the pleasure is subordinate to the law of the action whence it derives, and not vice versa—the action to the law of pleasure. And this law, so very reasonable, concerns not only the substance but also the circumstances of the action, so that, even when the substance of the act remains morally safe, it is possible to sin in the way it is performed.
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Does that answer your question? I am not sure it does, but it does discuss what it is about,
 
TheLittleLady said:
Who told you that the topic is taboo?
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No one, I just wanted to make it clear that my intentions for this discussion are mature and reverent.
TheLittleLady said:
What is your source for this?
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The New Catholic Church? Have the Rules Really Changed? Moral Theology
The story I am about to tell is the absolute truth. I am not making this up. About two years ago I went to confession and told the priest that my wife and I had sex without intercourse due to certain physical disabilities. The priest suggested I call his office and schedule a private meeting to discuss this in detail. A few weeks later I scheduled the meeting. We met in his office and talked for about 45 minutes. At the end of the discussion he asked me where I had heard that it was a mortal si…
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Saw this a couple days ago. The advise and views in this thread seemed very rigid and, well, odd. I was just trying to find some clarity on the subject matter; from a Catholic’s POV.
 
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smileypants707 said:
Saw this a couple days ago. The advise and views in this thread seemed very rigid and, well, odd. I was just trying to find some clarity on the subject matter; from a Catholic’s POV.
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That thread was talking about a situation where one or both partners is unable to have marital relations. Apples and snowshoes comparison.
 
That’s fair.

So, what about climaxing from foreplay alone; climaxing without intercourse? Is that permissible?
 
I would suggest you order a copy of the book recommended on that thread, “Holy Sex” or this article:

www.ncregister.com

Is Masturbation Always Wrong?

DIFFICULT MORAL QUESTIONS: It's clear that masturbation is a grave sin — but what if it’s for medical reasons?
www.ncregister.com www.ncregister.com
 
No. Climax is to be from vaginal penetration. Foreplay is fine but finish with actual intercourse.
 
Interesting, so what about female masturbation? Since female orgasm isn’t scientifically a part of procreation (at least, not in the same sense as male climax), is it a sin for females to climax from foreplay with their marital partner?
 
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