Questions About Discerning Your Vocation

[AAT]

Hi! This is my first post in CAF

A little background, I’m an 18 Y.O Catholic male and as the topic says I’m currently discerning my vocation. I consider myself to be a little bit Scrupulous and I tend to stress about a lot of things. I’ve been lurking around CAF for the last few months but registered just recently

I know that our vocation is not about us, but more of what’s God’s will for us. I’ve asked God to fill my heart with His desire, not my own. but my anxiety about the idea of priesthood just puts me through alot of stress. This is probably because I have a big desire to get married and have children since I was little.

I’ve experienced great joy twice, both in adoration, when I was truly able to let go of my anxiety and tried to listen to God’s will. and in both experiences my desire for marriage grew, and I feel that God wanted me to serve Him through a married life.

But usually, a day or two after the adoration, my anxiety would come back. I would read articles online about the risks of going through the wrong vocation, and just feared that I might have not considered priesthood/religious life enough,

I know that I should discuss this with a spiritual director, take a retreat, etc. But currently, I’m going to move to another country in the next 3 weeks and I decided it was probably better if I searched for a spiritual director there, as 3 weeks isn’t really a long time to discern.

so my questions are:

1. Is it acceptable to assume that my vocation is married life? I try to be as open as I can, but I do not want to start a relationship with a woman if I’m not sure that my vocation is marriage. I’ve heard many stories about people’s heart getting broken over the lack of discernment before starting to date and I do not want to do that to any woman.
2. Is it possible to be 100% sure of what your vocation is? I’ve read alot of articles and it seems that either we can’t or it’s usually a feeling of joy and peace, which I thought I already experienced that in the adorations I mentioned.
3. Is it acceptable to take a break from discerning? I have only a few moments left in my home country… And I feel that I’m wasting most of my time surfing hours and hours of material about vocation and discerning that I’m left stressed and not able to do more. Like possibly writing farewell letters to my friends and family that I might not see in the future 5 years or so. In fact, sometimes that I spend too much time that it becomes so late at night and I end up not praying the rosary

That’s all! Any theory or opinion would be appreciated! Also, prayers would help as well,

God Bless!

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

1. Marriage is considered, by the church, to be the “default vocation” that is, it is the vocation that a majority of persons are called to. Some are called to the religious life and some are called to the single life (although this is VERY rare as a permanent vocation)
2. We are not 100% committed to our vocation until we make vows. My uncle studied to be a priest. He was convinced with his WHOLE HEART. He was devastated, after his 3rd year, when a priest suggested he needed an extended vacation…take the summer off, not be shadowing a priest in a parish. During this time he met my aunt. Suddenly, his vocation became very clear. It wasn’t “love at first sight” but all of the sudden he was open to Marriage. His heart was transformed. I imagine this happens in the reverse direction, too. To this day, he has moments when the kids are screaming that he feels angry that God gave him his vocation rather than the nice, quiet monastic life. He often went back to the priest at the seminary in tears saying that he chose the wrong vocation. The priest told him that he chose his vocation and God would bless him in that, even if he could have been a priest happily
3. ABSOLUTELY! Taking a break from active discernment is absolutely ok. Don’t guilt yourself. Also if you like the rosary as a devotion, go for it. Otherwise do not feel guilty if you aren’t able to say it. The rosary is a tool for us to use and a gift, not a mandated action like weekly Mass.

 

[Roseeurekacross]

These questions are for your vocations director at your Parish. Once you move, find your Parish, make an appointment with the Parish vocations director and go from there.

You are young, plenty of time.

You are in my prayers.

what country are you moving to?

 

[AAT]

Thank you for your replies! Amazing story about your uncle. God does indeed work in mysteries!

As of where I’m moving to. I’m moving to Sydney, Australia. I’ve looked up a few parishes near my dorm and apparently my university has a catholic students community with daily mass each weekday at campus.

Thank you and God bless

 

[Roseeurekacross]

I am in Australia. There is a great Australian Catholic website that should head you in the right direction of Vocations Directors if you get stuck.

I will pray for you.

Many of our Priests are missionaries.