Remarriage and communion

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Cyndi

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I am so confused. I am remarried to a non-Catholic who is in the process of joining the Church. For many years I did not go to communion due to the remarriage. Now our annullments are in progress. But, a retired priest that I have known for over 20 years encourgaged me to go to communion. I told him that I am not worthy or in a state of grace. He told me that no one is really worthy. So at Mass for several months he grabs my hand and says, “come on.” So I did. Now the priest doing our annullment and my husband’s instruction says no. What do I do?
 
Cyndi, congratulations to you and your husband on your decision to be married in the Church. Special prayers will be offered for your husband, on his journey to conversion. How beautiful for you to be able to worship together!

Now, to the matter at hand…

You were right in refusing Communion until all is completed. Your priest undoubtedly was pushing you out of love, but he was a little misguided. The CCC 2384 is clear on the fact that you are still married to your former spouse until your annulment comes through and your current marriage is convalidated.

The Holy Spirit is guiding you in the right direction. May God continue to bless and guide you!
 
“No” is the correct answer. You were correct to stay away, correct that you are not in a state of grace as long as you continue to live as husband and wife prior to the annullments. To receive Communion while not in the state of grace adds the sin of sacrilege to the mix, which you certainly don’t want to do. (It is unclear whether or not you have committed a sacrilege by following the advice you received from the priest - only you know the degree to which you understood that it was wrong, and you can only commit a sin if you know it is a sin and give your free consent anyway. But now you know, so you would be responsible now, assuming you believe the other priest) Priests who have reached retirement age now were likely the ones caught up in the errors and experimentation that occurred in the 1960’s and 1970’s, and, while they can be good people and great friends, they can still give very bad advice. Smile sweetly, pull your hand back and stay in your pew.

When the time comes that your annullments are final and you are ready to return to the Sacraments, do mention these Communions in your confession, and let God decide to what extent you were guilty. That way you will not have nagging questions to bother you later on. You’ll be in my prayers.

Betsy
 
Cyndi,

Just to confirm that the other answers here are correct. If you remarried without the benefit of the Church’s decree of nullity (annulment) then you are not free to access the sacraments of the Church. Once your former marriage(s) are annulled then you can have your present marriage convalidated (blessed) and, after confession, return to receiving the sacraments.

Deacon Ed
 
Cyndie,

My husband was baptized and confirmed this spring, and he had no need of an annulment to begin with. I needed one, and got it. Our priest “strongly suggested”, however, that I refrain from receiving communion until my husband and I had our marriage convalidated.
 
Detroit Sue:
Cyndi, congratulations to you and your husband on your decision to be married in the Church. Special prayers will be offered for your husband, on his journey to conversion. How beautiful for you to be able to worship together!

Now, to the matter at hand…

You were right in refusing Communion until all is completed. Your priest undoubtedly was pushing you out of love, but he was a little misguided. The CCC 2384 is clear on the fact that you are still married to your former spouse until your annulment comes through and your current marriage is convalidated.

The Holy Spirit is guiding you in the right direction. May God continue to bless and guide you!
Thank you so much. We appreciate your prayers
 
Deacon Ed:
Cyndi,

Just to confirm that the other answers here are correct. If you remarried without the benefit of the Church’s decree of nullity (annulment) then you are not free to access the sacraments of the Church. Once your former marriage(s) are annulled then you can have your present marriage convalidated (blessed) and, after confession, return to receiving the sacraments.

D eacon Ed
I very much appreciate your reply. Thank you, Cyndi
 
baltobetsy said:
“No” is the correct answer. You were correct to stay away, correct that you are not in a state of grace as long as you continue to live as husband and wife prior to the annullments. To receive Communion while not in the state of grace adds the sin of sacrilege to the mix, which you certainly don’t want to do. (It is unclear whether or not you have committed a sacrilege by following the advice you received from the priest - only you know the degree to which you understood that it was wrong, and you can only commit a sin if you know it is a sin and give your free consent anyway. But now you know, so you would be responsible now, assuming you believe the other priest) Priests who have reached retirement age now were likely the ones caught up in the errors and experimentation that occurred in the 1960’s and 1970’s, and, while they can be good people and great friends, they can still give very bad advice. Smile sweetly, pull your hand back and stay in your pew.

When the time comes that your annullments are final and you are ready to return to the Sacraments, do mention these Communions in your confession, and let God decide to what extent you were guilty. That way you will not have nagging questions to bother you later on. You’ll be in my prayers.

Betsy

Thank you. I sincerely appreciate your reply and your prayers, Cyndi
 
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eistoob:
Cyndie,

My husband was baptized and confirmed this spring, and he had no need of an annulment to begin with. I needed one, and got it. Our priest “strongly suggested”, however, that I refrain from receiving communion until my husband and I had our marriage convalidated.
Did your annulment take more than a year? Waiting is difficult. Thanks for replying. Cyndi
 
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Cyndi:
Did your annulment take more than a year? Waiting is difficult. Thanks for replying. Cyndi
No, it was actually only a few weeks, since it was a simple Lack of Form case. But you’re right - waiting really is difficult.
 
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