Response to anti-Catholic relative?

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Just wondering what a recommended response would be to a family member who had been raised Catholic and now loudly proclaims strong disdain directly to me for the Catholic Church, primarily because of the clergy scandals.
 
Tell them you still love them even though you have differences about what you each believe. Then tell them you don’t want to fight with them about it, so if you are to continue in a constructive relationship with them, it is probably best if you take religion off the table as a discussion point.
 
Tell them that you understand and share their disgust at the clergy scandal (Which I presume is the truth.) Then tell them that the failings of human beings does change the fact that you believe that the teachings of the church are true.
 
You could say you understand why they are angry about the clergy scandals, and you share that anger and sadness. But the scandals do not change your beliefs, and those will not change.
 
Love them, be kind and gentle with them. Do not engage in arguments.
 
There has always been corruption in the clergy that was a big issue with Martin Luther when he visited rome . there were 95 issues . and like every organization they closed ranks. To protect the image. I was 9 years old when I saw the problens and asked my parents about it. And it was more than just skipping Sunday mass.
 
Thank you all very much for the excellent suggestions. I’ve been at a loss with the best way to respond each time the issue arises. (I don’t think quickly of good responses “on the spot” in situations like this, especially when there is such an angry tone of voice aimed at me.) The Church’s teachings regarding birth control have also been part of the animosity displayed in the past by this relative, but the clergy scandals bring out even more disdain. I truly appreciate all the advise. Our Lord’s blessings to all of you for the help!
 
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I’ve learned to avoid arguments. I agree that clergy abuse is a problem but I’m not leaving the church. I dont push my religion on them but I don’t want to hear negativity from them either.
 
I’m a convert from 47 years of Evangelical Protestantism.

If your relative continues to bait you, you could say, “Rev. Ted Haggard?”

That should shut him up.

If he doesn’t know who Rev. Ted. Haggard is, then it obvious he doesn’t know anything about clergy scandals in the Protestant churches and he shouldn’t be arguing with you about something he knows nothing about. Ignore him.
 
I have had several, and my answer has always been. I am sorry you left the Church, and yes these scandals are horrible, and these people will have to answer to God. Not to mention, that the Catholic Church is not the only religion with scandal. And I hope you find a religion that will bring you the comfort that the Catholic Church does for me. And then just change the subject, and if they keep going on, I just say I am done discussing this and expect you to respect my decision in a firm tone. Only once this didn’t work, and I simply walked away, never let the bully control the situation.
 
If adamant, you could ask him to present you with a list of pure organizations. You know, the one’s free of sexual predators, abusers, harassers, liars and corruption.

How about the mass media organizations he gets his honest facts from? LoL…
 
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I’m so grateful for all of your suggestions. It’s such a heart-breaking feeling when she bashes the Church to me even though she knows how much a part of my life the Church is. It’s even worse if no one else in the family speaks up to defend the Church, and I’m left to bear the brunt and wrath of the criticism. These responses should help me to make a calm (but hopefully loving) rebuttal in the future. (I’m still working on the “loving” part.) Our Lord’s blessings to all of you for your assistance!
 
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Retsel said:
If adamant, you could ask him to present you with a list of pure organizations. You know, the one’s free of sexual predators, abusers, harassers, liars and corruption.

How about the mass media organizations he gets his honest facts from? LoL…
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I wouldn’t do this. The Church is supposed to be in a class of its own, on higher moral ground than any other organization. At least, that is the argument that will be returned.

I would just say it isn’t up for discussion and change the topic. If the discussion continues, just walk away.
 
Thank you for that recommendation and background on your part, HopenHappiness. I agree that I never want them to control the situation - or any bully in whatever the situation for that matter. Walking away after firmly responding with my beliefs is very good advice. Much appreciated.
 
Keep in mind that the clergy crimes (“scandals” is not strong enough) may not be the real reason the person has gone from Catholic to strongly anti-Catholic. If that is the case, nothing you say about the clergy crimes will make any difference.
 
You make an excellent point, snarflemike. There have likely been several reasons she is now so strongly anti-Catholic. She divorced her husband several years ago and is now in another long-term relationship, and she’s also voiced strong opposition to the Church’s teachings on birth control in the past. The analyst in me sometimes feels she may have turned against her religious upbringing as a means to help appease her conscience and justify her current lifestyle, unfortunately. In that case, the clergy crimes have just been additional ammunition against the Church and aligned her with so many others who agree with her thinking. I still pray, though, that somehow I might be able to explain the truth of the Catholic Church to her in a caring way that might help change her mind.
 
bmaj said:
The analyst in me sometimes feels she may have turned against her religious upbringing as a means to help appease her conscience and justify her current lifestyle, unfortunately
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In all kindness, I would suggest that you work hard to not come to conclusions like this about people. You never know why someone does what they do. This idea of people leaving a religion so they can “do whatever they want” is so often inaccurate…it is like the tail wagging the dog. More often, they just don’t believe what the Church teaches, and had to choose between staying and being a hypocrite, or leaving and living an honest life.
 
The church itself was a victim of abuse. The church itself…

If we are unwilling to acknowledge that fact aren’t we too part of the problem?
 
The faithful people of the Church were victims, in addition to the children who were abused. The Church hierarchy caused the problem by not dealing with the abuse appropriately, and then choosing, with great intentional stealth, to cover it up.

As long as the party line is that the Church is filled with sinners, and sinners sin…well then things aren’t going to go well for that type of conversation. Thus my recommendation to not engage in it.
 
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