Should I feel Forced into an Unwanted Relationship?

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gborbely

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I realize that as Catholics we are obligated to make some substantial sacrifices of some sort if we are expected to be saved. But does that also extend to persons who may feel forced into an unwanted relationship? A few of my fellow parishioners in their kindness and goodness surprised me with a couple of women within my age group. They came in from quite a distance, apparently, but did not live up to my expectations in either looks or personality. They felt more like they could be my sisters, not potential spouses. The parishioners were understandably upset when I politely rejected them. I am willing to wait a few more months maybe even a year if need be for that special someone, or at least someone I know I would feel a lot more attracted to.
 
No, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone you aren’t attracted to. That’s not fair to either of you.
 
Do you think anyone would answer yes to your question. You are free to reject the parade of women brought before you using any criteria you wish. In fact it might be beneficial for them in the long run.
 
gborbely said:
The parishioners were understandably upset when I politely rejected them
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I don’t see why you would say “understandably upset”.

I don’t think people who spring girls on you have any right to be upset if you are not interested. Even someone whom you ask to set you up has no right to be upset if it doesn’t work out.
gborbely said:
I am willing to wait a few more months maybe even a year if need be for that special someone
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That long, huh? 😜
 
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Thank you for that, makes perfect sense!🙂
 
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Don’t marry someone you’re not sure about. Of course, affection and love can grow over time, but you only get one marriage and that’s a bit of a gamble. Your relationship with your future spouse is WAY more important than your relationships you have right now with your fellow parishioners, even your other family members! Let God decide when you meet Mz. Right. But in pursuit of fairness, take a moment to give each of these girls an honest fair evaluation of their character without letting your resentment at being set up get in the way.
 
In all honesty, have you been complaining about not having a girl friend, or no one wanting to go out with you?

Because, If I recall correctly, you did seem a bit like that. Although your last break-up you mentioned here was one that you broke up, I can see wanting to talk about your situation.

Next time (better yet, right now), tell these people you are not asking for them to set up dates for you. Say it firmly but respectfully, and you shouldn’t be in this situation again. Good to see you here again, and God Bless!
 
Are these parishoners “pushy” in other areas of your life? Is there another parish you can go to if there is harassment by them?
 
Not really. I don’t think they’re harassing me at all. As a matter of fact after some thought, I certainly wouldn’t mind it if they actually found me an attractive woman. I’m beginning to realize
that these people really do mean well. Thank you nevertheless for your concern, however. It is much appreciated. God bless!

rom: Norseman82 via Catholic Answers Forums catholic_forums@discoursemail.com
 
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I must admit, I’ve been a little fussy with my choices and preferences. I learned recently to be less finicky and more generous with my time and efforts especially with those who do not particularly
interest me. I think I’m actually beginning to enjoy the somewhat unexpected company. Thank you nevertheless for your concern. God bless!
 
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I have actually committed myself to giving each of these women a fair evaluation. It wasn’t easy, but it was nevertheless a major breakthrough. Thank you and God bless!
 
I think they kind of felt sorry for me for some reason. But I am grateful! God bless!
 
A complete turn around from the OP? Parishioners “suprised” you with a few women who came from long distances and now you want to give each if them an “evaluation” nope. Something isn’t right here.
 
I actually allowed myself to become convinced by fellow parishioners and friends abroad to at least give these women a fair evaluation. This has given me an opportunity to determine whether it’s
actually possible to form a lasting relationship with non-attractive women. Although this has proven to be not the case, I believe that I have at least learned something from it. But no, I definitely won’t be taking these two seriously. They’re very nice people,
but I just could not imagine myself getting married to any one of them.
 
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Well, I don’t see any harm in making friends with any of these women…as long as you’re honest! (About not wanting to seriously date/possibly marry them…I see no reason for you to tell anyone you find them unattractive! )Any female friend can be a way of making more female friends…and, that’s how you start out, isn’t it?

Happy looking and God Bless!
 
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