Should we date a Protestant?

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shanishani7

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I know this question has been discussed many times before…
I am a born catholic, and am a devout catholic whom I really wish to marry a catholic too! I know it is the best to marry a catholic as well, so I have tried my best to join the catholic groups and services in Catholic Church in the past few years. However, there were only elder catholics, married men and most are female catholics in our groups and in my country (Asia). I had almost no chance to meet any male catholics around my age. I had also prayed for a spouse (especially catholic) in past years.
Recently I met a Protestant (baptised many years ago) who treat me very good and has a good personality. He also attend his Protestant Church every Sunday. He has a very thankful heart and good heart, and gentle personality which I like most. We had been dating a few times (not yet in a relationship). He is special and I am considering to be in serious relationship with him one day. However, when I think of our religion difference, it takes a lot of time for me, I worried about which church our marriage will be held, the religion of our children in our future (if he insist the children to be baptised in Protestant church, and I insist in Catholic Church, what should I do?) I know I must let them to be baptised in Catholic Church. And also, I worried about salvation of his soul. And if we get married, will we go to different churches on every Sunday? And if praying in our home, we pray in different ways?
These are the things I really worry, at the moment his view is both religions are similar (believe in/ love the same God), and I think he will not convert to catholic at the moment.

Should we stop dating Protestant, or pray for his conversion while dating/relationship/marriage ? Do you think God does not like we marry a Protestant?

Is it rather better to marry an atheist than a Protestant?
 
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How old are you? Lol
Sorry just wanting to be funny, I tell you what my thoughts are , as someone. Who has been pursuing marriage for a long time , and this included , some protestant ladies, I never got to truly connect , much less being even close to consider anything serious.
But having said that , I’ve known some Catholics who has married protestant and still happy, but I cannot say what their experience is
 
It is “best” to marry a Catholic. It is not “required” to do so!

If you choose to date a non-Catholic, during your time together you will need to discuss your questions. As a Catholic, it is required that you are married in the Catholic Church, and that you raise your children in the faith. If the person you’re dating cannot accept these things, then you should end the relationship before marriage. But if they can, and if they are supportive of your faith (even if they do not share it), then you can prayerfully continue the relationship and, if things go well, marry them.

There are many Protestants (and atheists, and members of other religions) who are willing to accept that if they marry a Catholic they will need to marry in the Church and let the Catholic parent raise their children in the faith. I have known many such families, where the husband or wife and their children are Catholic, but the other spouse is Methodist or Episcopal or atheist or Jewish or Buddhist. The difference in faith can be difficult, but they have worked through the difficulties.

And, as an RCIA coordinator at my parish, I have also seen many non-Catholic spouses who later feel called home to the Catholic Church. I have even seen people in their 70s or 80s, having been married for 40 or 50 years, who feel the call and come into full communion with the church.

So while some may tell you to only date Catholics because it is easier or more ideal, it is also possible that God plans to use you to help a non-Catholic find the Church, or, even if that does not happen, to help them live in holiness and to raise your children in the Church. So you should pray, seek advice from faithful friends and priests, and use your best prudential judgement.

God bless you.
 
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It’s easier to date another Catholic, because then you won’t argue about which church to raise any possible children in, or whose church you’ll both go to for Christmas, Easter, and other holy days. That being said, I wouldn’t totally rule out the possibility of having a relationship with a protestant. Just do your best to convert them if you can, and if you decide to marry, make sure they know how important it is for you to have a sacramental marriage in the church.
 
My wife was Protestant, (Presbyterian) when I first met her and I am Catholic. I was living in South Korea and she is Korean. I have met quite a lot of Catholic South Korean men in my experience, which country are you living in?

Anyhow, I asked her “Have you ever thought about becoming Catholic?” she surprisingly said yes!

Ask him about converting, and see what he says, just listen. Ask good questions and find out why he would or would not like to become Catholic and go from there.

If he has problems with the teaching, you can explain it to him.

If he doesn’t know anything about Catholicism, all the better! You can teach him everything!

If he is not open to exploring the possibility of finding Christ or the Truth in Catholicism, then you might have other problems down the road.

Find out what he thinks about converting and start from that.
 
achmafooma said:
So while some may tell you to only date Catholics because it is easier or more ideal, it is also possible that God plans to use you to help a non-Catholic find the Church, or, even if that does not happen, to help them live in holiness and to raise your children in the Church.
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Such was the case with my husband (raised Lutheran) . I was very clear from the beginning of our dating that I wanted to marry a Catholic, there would be no premarital sex, and that my children would be raised Catholic. He could have decided not to call back for more dates, but he didn’t. He started attending mass with me and converted two years later.

My father was also raised Lutheran (pastor’s kid!) and converted after meeting my mother.
 
Just keep in mind that, should you marry, you are marrying the person who IS, and not a person you hope they may become in the future. Certainly, someone may “convert,” but to marry a non-Catholic with the agenda of converting them is a big mistake. What happens if they don’t? Could you be happy with a spouse who is not Catholic? Could pressures that you bring to bear actually have a negative effect on your relationship? In other words, you need to consider the actual reality, not just what you would really, really like to happen in the future.
 
It is preferred that a Catholic should marry another Catholic. The Church allows mixed marriages though. Some mixed marriages turn out very well and some do not.
My advice would be to discuss the things that worry you with this man if you get the chance. It could be that he is open to the children being Catholic and happy to attend mass with you.

Personally, when I was dating, I only dated Catholics and I would rather have stayed single than married a non-catholic.
 
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In real life, I know exactly two mixed marriages that have lasted (more than 30 years) where the Catholic is still practicing their faith. In both of those marriages there are 7 children between them. One of those adult children is a practicing Catholic, one grandchild has been baptized Catholic.

YMMV
 
My wife, of nearly forty years, was a protestant during our courtship and the early part of our marriage. She converted right around our first anniversary.
We had no problems with raising children Catholic etc, but we did have some serious issues with her family who were as Anti-Catholic as I have ever experienced.

I do recommend that you find his family’s views on the matter.
 
I can relate, my wife was re-baptized after we married because we weren’t sure of the validity of her baptism. The Sacrament of Marriage was applied to after that.

Her parents were and still are very active in their Presbyterian church, and though lightly Anti-Catholic, they still attended our Catholic wedding, which is the only time they stepped foot in a Catholic church.

They did kind of owe us though, as we went to their church a lot more often and caught a lot of flak for being Catholic at their church and among acquaintances.
 
Better for a Catholic to marry a Catholic.

As a child us children went to one church with my mum and my dad went to another church.

Imagine one parent believing in once saved always saved and double predestination and the other not?
 
Patrick Madrid, who i respect greatly, has spoken & written extensively on this topic. As a father, of what 6, eight, ten kids (not sure) he has a lot personal expierience.

His answer to OP’s question would be, in a word: NO.
 
You need to discuss all these things thoroughly with Mr. Protestant before you get serious about him:

Is he okay with you continuing to practice your faith? Is he respectful of it?

Does he practice his? Is he open to maybe joining with you to practice yours? Would he perhaps convert?

How does his family feel about this? Are his parents okay with it? Do they accept you and your faith? Will you be expected to go to Protestant services with them on family visits? Will they accommodate your desire to go to a Catholic Mass? Do they make upsetting remarks or jokes about Catholics?

How about the kids? Is Protestant dad okay with them being raised Catholic? Are grandparents going to interfere?

Does Mr. Protestant agree to marry you in the Catholic church? Is he willing to jump through the required pre-Cana hoops?

Does he accept the Church teachings on sex, porn, contraception, and marriage in general? Does he understand that for a Catholic, marriage is forever, divorce doesn’t end anything, and annulment is not guaranteed, so this is a big step for you?

If all of this stuff is not a problem, or if he agrees to convert, then he is “marriage material”.

My mother married a Protestant who converted. They were married about 27 years till he died. It was a happy marriage. She didn’t want to date or marry anyone else after he died.

I married a Protestant. He is a good man and his family is nice to me. A couple of them are also Catholics as one guy converted to marry his wife. Some of the grandparents were also Catholic. Apart from an occasional Catholic joke (they lived in a heavily Catholic area so were used to having Catholics around), no problems. We have been married 23 years. I am working on getting him to convert now that his parents are deceased.

Good luck!
 
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I agree with this. I was exactly the same.

I basically just didn’t want to be in a situation where I’d be battling or trying to compromise with my wife over areas where we should really be unified.
 
I can appreciate the views of people who say it is easier to marry a Catholic because it removes an area of possible contention from your marriage and because their faith is a key value for them.

I just want to note that depending on what your dating history has been and what God seems to be sending into your path, it’s a YMMV situation. Before I married my husband, I had dated a nominal Catholic who drank, hit me, and could not hold a job. I also dated a nice Catholic boy who unfortunately I had basically zero in common with in terms of interests and approach to life other than Catholicism. Here comes nice Mr. Protestant who is a responsible, educated man from a good family, doesn’t drink, doesn’t hassle me, is very supportive, is fun to be with, and reminds me of my dad (who also started out as a Protestant). I wasn’t going to say, “sorry, you’re a Protestant, go away” at that point.
 
If you cannot find someone who is Catholic, you should at least look for someone not hostile to the faith. I would not recommend an atheist.

While you may quietly pray for your significant other’s conversion, that is something strictly between him and the Holy Spirit; that is not something you can rush or interfere in, and if you expect him to convert, you are only setting yourselves up to fail. You should be able to discuss your beliefs and differences warmly and civilly, and work out the nonnegotiables (raising the kids Catholic, etc) before you allow the relationship progress into engagement or marriage. It will have challenges, but if you keep Christ at the center of the relationship and future marriage, it can be successful.
 
If you do continue to date someone like this, pray for his conversion, and as it is such an important thing and dating is about marriage which is not to be taken lightly, don’t be afraid to speak about it with him.
Of course, might wanna do some studying if you don’t know how to defend the faith.

But work at it, I would say. The Church is for everyone after all!
 
You might be interested in this. Our Lady of Grace in Greensboro, NC, was built as a memorial. The Baptist husband was so taken by the holiness of his Catholic wife that he donated the funds for this church to be built after her death.


I think if they are God-fearing gentlemen who care about their relationship with God and others, then their being Catholic would be secondary if the relationship is true love.
 
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