Struggling with Fear of Death

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I’m a 33-yr. old Roman Catholic woman who is virtually paralyzed by the fear of death. While I try to have faith in God and His mercy, I have a hard time not being preoccupied with a fear that He does not love me and does not forgive me of my sins. I’m also struggling with the death of my grandmother in 2004. Lately, I find myself needing to seek the constant (almost weekly) advice of doctors to help me realize that my problem is not physical as much as it is emotional. I do have Irritable Bowel Syndrome, but even though my other tests have proven clean and clear, I still am convinced I’m dying of the same thing my grandmother had. I know death is inevitable and there are never guarantees that we will go to Heaven, but while I’m “living” here, all I’m doing is fearing the end. **I have been trying to find a local priest or Catholic counselor in the Central New Jersey area, but can’t find one. **Please pray for me and any advice would be helpful. Thank you.
 
Your problem is not unique. Many struggle with it. Sorry that you have not been able to find a good Catholic counselor. We have a great Catholic Counseling Center in our diocese. Please do not give up looking for good professional advice. All the while, remember how much you are loved by Jesus.

God bless,
Deacon Tony
 
At 33 there’s no reason you should be cripled with so much fear of death all the time.I could understand if you were diagnosed with Cancer, but not IBS, this is no way to live. My advice is talk to a psychologist, you may need a recomendation to a psychiatrist. This is not normal for a 33 year old woman to live, and it’s not good to live the way you described.

My guess is it’s probably it’s a mental issue that could use therapy or medication.

Good luck and God bless, prayer never hurt either.
 
Hi. I suffer from hypochondria. Any little thing that happens to me, I run online and check for symptoms of what I think I am feeling. All of a sudden a whole list of diseases or illnesses show up and I start to believe I have this. Then I go waste about a few hundred dollars on doctors and am told that there is nothing wrong with me.

Living with any fear is not living at all. I have learned that. It was a hard lesson that I learned. By living with fear, I have missed out on the beautiful things that God has given to us in this world. God does love us. He gave his only begotten son so that we can come to him, so that we can save ourselves from him. Don’t look as death as something bad. For us Faithful, death is the exit of this world and the entrance to a more wonderful and beautiful world. A world where we will be with the one who loves us the most. Our God. I wish I could offer you some more advice. I am not a professional nor a spiritual counselor, so I would not dare even go that route. Hopefully someone else here who is trained in those things could give you some more words. I am speaking from my experience and from the heart.

God Bless you.
 
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Dimmers:
…Living with any fear is not living at all. I have learned that. It was a hard lesson that I learned. By living with fear, I have missed out on the beautiful things that God has given to us in this world. God does love us. He gave his only begotten son so that we can come to him, so that we can save ourselves from him. Don’t look as death as something bad. For us Faithful, death is the exit of this world and the entrance to a more wonderful and beautiful world. A world where we will be with the one who loves us the most. Our God. I wish I could offer you some more advice. I am not a professional nor a spiritual counselor, so I would not dare even go that route. Hopefully someone else here who is trained in those things could give you some more words. I am speaking from my experience and from the heart.

God Bless you.
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:amen: You have given her some really good advice and may I say that … been there and done that… Learning to TRUST in God was when I turned the corner…even after all the couseling, meds etc… I will pray for you you, MichLeader !:gopray:
 
I searched and there are three Catholic Therapists in New Jersey. Hopefully one of them is near you. Note the last of the three indicates that he does telephone-based counseling to those far from his office. Perhaps that is an option, perhaps there are similar therapists featured on this resource that would do the same.

You also mention not being able to find a local priest: meaning, unable to find one you are comfortable with? Because I would suggest to go to confession and ask the priest to help you. It would be best to find a good, regular confessor—it’s my opinion that this would be even more crucial than the medical aspect.

I lived many years seeped in a lifestyle of mortal sin. While I had (pretty much) understood that God had forgiven me, I could not forgive myself. I hated my sins so much for the hurt they caused others and because they crucified my savior. I heard somewhere that if you refuse to forgive yourself after God has forgiven you, it’s almost like saying that God’s forgiveness is not enough. That really struck me, and the healing began at that point.

I hope this information about the Divine Mercy Chaplet is helpful for you:
(free CD)

And listen to it here:

I hope all the best for you. May God bless you and show you His endless mercy for all who turn to Him in repentance.
 
Amen, Dimmers!
Michleader, I hope the info we’ve all supplied is helpful. Please post back in the future and let us know how you’re doing.
 
I read your note with simpathy and marvel at the love of our god who is a god of love. I am never able to foreget that since I have died been given my life back, had uncurable illnesses and other, death has been near me if I wish to see life that way.
But as a catholic follower of the most holy Trinity of love I am reminded that this life is a dim image of what God has vfor me when I come face to face with a foregiving loving merciful God I will see all things face to face.
You are built to the likeness of our loving God. We know then that where there is a god who loves then there is a lesser person who is out to undo all God has given us.
If our god who is love gives us a reasurance that His love is with us under all situations 🙂 then it is some other person out to condemn us (since our god states that He will NEVER condemn us) It is another who is trying to force faulse information into peoples minds to make then think that our God is faulse and that He doesnt care.
I have lost much in this world, wife , child killed , house but I have never lost my love for my god who loves me more than any other person ever could.
I have counseled for years youth adulescent and family and I know that My god goes before us to prepare the way. He never gives us more than we can take and He is ALWAYS there if we listen and want to speak to Him. He is a god of never ending LOVE.

God is love not hate, my friend
 
Your words really helped me this evening. I have friends who have no faith at all and they are listening to me with disbelief. They say, “How can you, Michelle, have such faith and such fear at the same time?” I know I am being attacked by Satan. My neighbor says fear comes not from God but from the devil and everyday I try to drive the evil one away.

Thank you for your guidance and continued prayer.😃
 
Make as many visits to the Blessed Sacrament as you can… maybe once a day. Every day, if possible, but not to be too concerned if you miss a day or two.

Just sit in the back row for a few minutes… even just a minute… come up with a few simple prayers of your own design…

Some of mine, that I evolved over the decades…

“Lord, please help me with this school work… and exams … and also, because right now there is someone out there with his or her back against the wall… so please help whoever this instant needs your help the most…even if it’s not me.”

“Dear Lord, please grant me direction, guidance, cash flow and work.”

“Dear Lord, hold me in Your arms, carry me, forgive me my sins, make me the way You want me to be.”

Then, there is the Ed Koch prayer: “Lord, How am I doing?”

Or, the Astronaut’s prayer:“Lord, please don’t let me screw up.”

Pray the Rosary…Visualize being there with Mary at each of the Mysteries. Make up your own mysteries…

Or, … when you need to do something “unpleasant” or “difficult” or “frightening”… ask Mary to intercede and help you get through it in one piece… … And then when you are back home and getting changed… just say:“Thank you for getting me back home in one piece.”

Make up your own prayers…

Remember that Jesus worked as a carpenter… and he used to visit the neighborhood pub, so He has an exquisite first hand understanding of what humans go through. Although He is Infinite, He also experienced a lot of ups and downs… Starting from when He was an infant and had to flee from Bethlehem to Egypt… and when they got back, everyone would talk about Him and His Mother, about the slaughter of the innocent babies, about Mary’s pregnancy, about the insults (“Nothing good ever came out of Nazareth”)

Visualize being there with Him… in the carpentry shop, or at a construction site or with the “imbibers”… and He looks over at you and asks, “How’s it going?”

Anyway, do these things for a while and then look back and see how you feel.
 
This is a great thread! I do say grace with the sign of cross while with my family. When I’m alone I will say it to myself for the most part.
 
Al Masetti:
Make as many visits to the Blessed Sacrament as you can… maybe once a day. Every day, if possible, but not to be too concerned if you miss a day or two.
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Amen!
Michleader, you will not believe the incredible graces and healing you will receive through this form of worship. I can attest to this firsthand. Open your heart as much as you can, and ask Him to enter, and He will (but we have to take the initiative).
 
As Christians we have no need to fear death at all because Christ promised us that we would spend eternity with him. Some people think I am complacent in my belief that I’ll go to Heaven but if Christ stated it then I am assured that it is the truth.
However, sometimes psychological illnesses can distort our view of the truth and cause us to fear things for no reason. I expect that your grandmothers passing has triggered this in you. There is no shame in having psychological ilnesses and I would suggest that you seek your doctors help. He may be able to refer you to a psychologist for cognitive behavioural therapy. This is very effective for thought disorders such as phobias and anxieties. Your doctor may also want to try prescribing medicine if he thinks that your problem is due to a chemical imbalance in the brain. There are many medicines that can help with this. Don’t be put off if the first medicine doesn’t work because there will be others that will.
I have a depressive illness and at one point I was afraid to go out. I was treated with a combination of meds and CBT and this helped a lot.
At one point, I was desperate to die buit I was afraid that there would just be more of the same on the other side. I wanted non-existance. I now know that these thoughts were not my real thoughts but, rather, a product of my illness and I am thankful that God gave me that fear of life to prevent me from ending my life. It amazes me how he knows just how to help us and we are sometimes oblivious to his help until after the event.
Take care and get medical help. You do not have to feel this way. 😉
 
Its not so much the idea of death that i fear, it is the pain that might occur.

Yes i know , but i fear pain. I cant stand it. Im staying well away from hell! :eek:
 
This was posted on another thread. Amazing story.
angelfire.com/ms/seanie/BVM/claudenewman.html.
After a visit from Our Blessed Mother, this death row inmate actually cried when he learned that he had a two-week stay of execution, but it’s not what you think.
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michleader:
I’m a 33-yr. old Roman Catholic woman who is virtually paralyzed by the fear of death. While I try to have faith in God and His mercy, I have a hard time not being preoccupied with a fear that He does not love me and does not forgive me of my sins. I’m also struggling with the death of my grandmother in 2004. Lately, I find myself needing to seek the constant (almost weekly) advice of doctors to help me realize that my problem is not physical as much as it is emotional. I do have Irritable Bowel Syndrome, but even though my other tests have proven clean and clear, I still am convinced I’m dying of the same thing my grandmother had. I know death is inevitable and there are never guarantees that we will go to Heaven, but while I’m “living” here, all I’m doing is fearing the end. **I have been trying to find a local priest or Catholic counselor in the Central New Jersey area, but can’t find one. **Please pray for me and any advice would be helpful. Thank you.
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