Ultimate bullying Act , Where Do We Go from Here?

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Tiffanypearls

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My son has been bullied at a Catholic school. When he reported the final act of bullying which consisted of vandalism and theft, 2 students baited him into making a statement about what he would do the next time someone stole his tools and vandalized his property. The 2 students went to a teacher and reported that my son made a threat against the school. My son did not make that statement. Yet, the Principal accused my son of making the statement and the case of bullying was given lesser weight and not taken into account as the precipitating event leading up to the deflection from the other 2 students. This alleged statement went to the media and the police force. The Archdiocese was pulled in as well. Meanwhile, my son is out of school being “home schooled” and missing out on daily educational instruction while the other students are all in attendance. Where’s the justice?
 
“I said in my heart, both the just and the wicked God will judge, since a time is set for every affair and for every work.” Ecclesiastes 3:17
 
I’ve been told bullying is not a crime. Thanks, for your (name removed by moderator)ut though.
 
The School is responsible for the Health and well being of your child. While he might not show physical injuries, mental abuse is just a bad if not worse. Consulting a lawyer might not be a bad idea. Usually the consult is free, what do you have to lose.
 
Who told you that?
‘Bullying’ is another word for harassment. Taking advantage. Belittling.
I’m sure there’s a crime in the list that is far longer than I can think up, late at night. The more ‘bullying’ is kept out of the courts, and in the schools, the more the innocent students are blamed, but the experienced harassers, belittlers, just annoying kids can look like the victims. I really don’t know how far you would want to go, but at least find out what’s a crime, and what isn’t. If more parents would be willing to take this past the level of ‘school discipline’ the more it would be taken seriously.

Rant over. Find out for sure what your son’s-and your-rights are. Many law firms offer ‘free consults’ by phone. I’m sure they can answer the question about bullying being a crime.
 
Oh. I just re-read your first post. ‘Vandalism’ and ‘theft’ were both crimes, last time I looked. Are the kids that did these things walking the streets, without being charged??? If so, call the police! They committed a crime!
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I filed a police report but there are no witnesses. So the fact that we suspect the 2 who baited my child doesn’t seem to matter. I filed the report one week ago. I followed up with the PD today and it barely got assigned and to a night shift detective. I get the feeling that we are getting strung along and they are not gonna take this very seriously. My child’s reputation is at stake here. When I spoke with the Archdiocese last week the District Superintendent said that he understood how I “felt” that my child was being bullied. FELT! I have been documenting the instances since last year. These are the facts not feelings. This is frustrating.
 
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Tiffanypearls said:
When he reported the final act of bullying which consisted of vandalism and theft, 2 students baited him into making a statement about what he would do the next time someone stole his tools and vandalized his property. The 2 students went to a teacher and reported that my son made a threat against the school. My son did not make that statement. Yet, the Principal accused my son of making the statement and the case of bullying was given lesser weight and not taken into account as the precipitating event leading up to the deflection from the other 2 students.
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This is a little confusing. You said they baited him into making a statement, but then that he did not actually make a statement.

If he did actually make a statement threatening the school or other students, the school does need to take that seriously. However, I am sorry that the bullying was not taken seriously or addressed as thoroughly as it seems it should have been.
 
Quite honestly, Catholic schools just aren’t good at dealing with this sort of thing. In my state, they lobbied to be exempt (and won) from legislation requiring schools to report bullying incidents.

I wouldn’t say I’d never put my kids in Catholic schools, but it is really close to that. I will say that they are at the bottom of my list of type of schools where kids would be taught Christian values. Granted, I am talking only about Catholic schools in my state.
 
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Honestly, I was a very free range parent. My way of parenting was that kids get in disagreements, and teaching them to work it out among themselves avoids these problems when the kids are older. Our son was an only child and it can be far more difficult for onlies to learn how to navigate socially. Teach kids how to deflect, how to not be bullied. Bullies only work when they can cause the other person to react.

Take this as a lesson learned, help your child to understand rules, to understand that talk of violence is never okay.
 
I went to Catholic school and it served me well. It is the main reason I converted. But, I would never send my kids. Well, we kind of send them to Catholic school, we homeschool.

Perhaps the Op could think about that as an opportunity to try a different type of schooling. I do know that there are Catholic schools that are awesome. I’ve seen them. Just not where we currently live. I actually like the Public schools here. If we didn’t homeschool I would have no problem sending them to public schools.
 
If you live in the US, you have been told incorrectly. Bullying is harassment and is illegal. Many states have specific ordinances about harassment in school.
 
Sounds like it’s time to pull your kid out of that school.
 
You have to wonder why Catholic schools found the time to organize and lobby against anti-bullying legislation wen the could have just applied that time and resources to dealing with bullying properly.
 
cloistered said:
Quite honestly, Catholic schools just aren’t good at dealing with this sort of thing.
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Based on my own experiences while in Catholic school, I completely agree. The public schools also do a poor job of dealing with it IMHO, perhaps worse than the Catholic schools, but the public school is forced to answer to taxpayers, whereas the Catholic school doesn’t really have to answer to anybody. I was bullied in Catholic high school and my mother back in the 1930s was bullied in Catholic school by a teacher who was a religious sister, to the point where my grandma pulled my mom out of that school (fairly unheard of in those days but you didn’t mess with my grandma or her kids).

OP, if you feel your son has been wronged in all this, I would suggest that you get a lawyer and look into bringing a civil suit. Also, plan on sending your son elsewhere to school.
 
Allegra said:
If you live in the US, you have been told incorrectly. Bullying is harassment and is illegal. Many states have specific ordinances about harassment in school.
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It may be that whatever happened with her son does not meet whatever the legal definition is for “bullying” in that jurisdiction. Or she may have received wrong info as you said.
Again, a lawyer is needed to sort this out.
 
I can’t think of any place on earth where these crimes are not illegal! Now, there are some who are selective in who they prosecute…the kids that did this to your son, their parents aren’t ‘pillars of the communities’ or of the church, are they???

If they are, it may be wise to look into an alternate way of educating your son. Mind you, I’m not saying ‘don’t keep looking into it’ or consulting a lawyer. But these cases can be lengthy, and you don’t want to hold your son, back, educationally!
 
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