Vocation help please

[Gabrielle]

Hello, I have been discerning a vocation to the religious life for a while now, and I even think I found the community I would like to join if God is really calling me. It’s a Franciscan order that runs a clinic and a food shelf in a nearby city. The problem with this is that every time I think of leaving this thought comes into my mind that I’d be leaving my parents to help other people. Don’t get me wrong, I like this order precisely because they are so involved with both prayer and loving and helping people who need it. The problem is that I immediately feel so much guilt. I wouldn’t be leaving my parents alone. My older brother would always that care of them and I have three older sisters as well, but we are not wealthy by any means. My brother has a very well paying job, but he has a family of his own, and though I know he’ll always help our parents as much as he can, I feel guilty because I know my own parents will lack a lot of what I will be leaving them to help others with( like health care). If it wasn’t for this thought that I’m abandoning my family, that I’m leaving to give to others what they themselves will lack, I’d probably be at their door tomorrow begging them to give me a chance. But it cripples me and leaves me with guilt and with sadness because I have a great desire to join this community. I don’t know what to do.

 

[ThereseFrancis]

That is a tough choice and only you could answer this. It is only you who can discern what God asks of you. I have heard vocation stories wherein people helped their parents first then they entered the religious order. While others, simply just entered and left everything at the providence of God. I think, only you, with the help of a spiritual director, can really discern what is the best step because each context and circumstance is different.

One thing that my spiritual director said to me though when I was discerning for religious life: What is it that you can give to your parents that God cannot also give to them?

 

[Kts1816]

I feel same way,too esspecially for my grandmother that runs out of money because of comunial debts

 

[Irishmom2]

OP, I don’t know how old you or your parents are, or if you have spoken to your parents about your desire to join this order.

As a parent, I would be delighted that my child was looking to serve God and others. Your other family members will be there to take care of your parents, they are not alone. Yes, you will be separated from them, but you can always offer your prayers to God for them, no matter where you are.

May God bless you and guide you.

 

[CRM_Brother]

This is a common issue in vocational discernment. We must remember that vocation is almost never the choice of a good path of life over a bad one. It is the choosing of an avenue of life through which we may experience the greatest intimacy with God. It is the choice of the best path for you. Many times Satan uses legitimate concerns, like the welfare of your parents, to hold those in discernment back from choosing to follow their vocations. He tries to get us to give up before we investigate the situation fully. I know that my own Order assists its member’s families when there is a legitimate need like health care. I know for a fact that the different orders of Franciscans have assistance programs for almost any situation. Even if your specific Order would not be able to help you with your specific needs, I would not be surprised if they had the connections with other Orders who would be willing to assist you, even as a religious of a different Order. Most people realize that when you enter an Order, your sisters (brothers in my case) become as much your family as your biological relatives, but many forget that quite often the inverse is also true. When you fully enter into an Order, your parents become your sisters’ parents as well, just as theirs become yours.

First and foremost, I would be completely open with your spiritual director and the vocations director for the Order. They would be the most equipped to advise you.

Second, and most importantly, trust in God. He will not allow others to suffer if this is your true calling. I have seen true miracles happen when people follow their vocations and trust Him to take care of the rest.

God Bless,
Br. Ben, CRM

 

[Irishmom2]

Beautiful and informative post, Br. Ben.