What can anyone tell me about spiritual oppression?

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im_wildrose

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My husband is a convert to the faith. He was baptised 4 years ago and has been really trying to grow spiritually but it’s been an incredibly difficult uphill battle. He wasn’t raised with any particular faith other than a little Jewish from his dad and some non-denominational Christian virtues from his mom. His spiritual growth is a steady two steps forward, one step back. I see a lot of growth and change but, with it, there is a growing frustration in him because he can’t seem to get past a lot of the issues he’s dealing with. The main thing that makes us suspect it is all rooted in some kind of spiritual oppression is that, for the last 5 years, since he started going to RCIA, he frequently has terrible headaches on Sun. mornings and/or Sat. nights. It started with him picking fights with me on Sat. evenings. He’d pick and pick at something and get all riled up and angry, go in the bedroom, slam the door, and go to sleep so we’d wake up Sun morning with this raw sort of irritation at each other. I started noticing that the only time it happened was on Sat. nights and he really worked to fight against it. Then the headaches started. He can get up fine any other mornng for work or whatever, but Sun. mornings I’m litterally dragging him up. I wake him, go help the kids get ready, come past the bedroom and wake him again. He just can’t shake off the fog. He gets so mad at himself and tries to get going but just can’t. He fights so hard because he refuses to miss Mass and he always gets up eventually, but we’re always running in at the last second, or late. It seems like the more he wants to deepen his faith, the worse things get for him. The way he describes it is, he feels like he’s being pulled in two.

One other thing is, he’s been battling alcoholism for several years now and can’t shake it. He can be ok for a while but then fall again. I know this is normal for the recovering alcoholic but it’s extremely frustrating for him.

Does anyone know anything about spiritual oppression? He’s talked to a couple of priests about it but the impression we get is that they think it’s the alcholism that’s to blame. But, I’ve known my husband for over 15 years now and I know that he really and truly wants to get better. He hates himself for the way he is but feels like he just can’t shake how he’s feeling. And incidently, we eat very healthy, he’s 47, and has a physically demanding job. I really want to hear people’s thoughts on this.

Thanks and God bless, Jen
 
Jen,
I have no expertise, I just happened by. But I would suggest your husband see a good Catholic psychologist. Your diocese may know of one if you don’t.

While your suspicion of outside influences may be correct, I think the Church would eliminate any psychological stress or medical problems first anyway.
 
Jen…am no expert and the advice above is good, but I have heard of and seen this several times…when someone is trying to come into or just recently come into the church. It is definitely, in my humble opinion, some kind of spiritual oppression as you suggested…the devil doesn’t let go easily!

I have seen it solved only through massive amounts of prayer. Tell him as soon as he feels this way…like picking a fight or whatever, to start praying to God for help and say Our Father’s and Hail Mary’s. Also it would help to say the rosary for him as much as possible. Our Lady will help.

Just one other thing…would it be possible to occasionally go more often to the saturday pm vigil masses? For some inexplicable reason, the oppression and fog is often worse for many on sunday mornings.

I’m sure the alcoholism doesn’t help…that can be a form of spiritual oppression too.

Prayers will help…but it takes awhile…be persistent.
Hope this helps a little just to let you know that this is not that unusual…God bless…will pray for you.
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One of the books I found interesting about the subject of what addiction can do is a book called “The Addictive Personality”.

It seems that what ever our addiction is, be it Sports or sex or drugs such as alcohol, we are in a prosess of developing an alternate personality when we surender our lives to these obsessive behaviors.
This new person has a will to take over the real self and often will battle a person the rest of thier lives. We as Christians have HOPE with a Savior who can give us the Holy Spirit who will lead us into all truth.
God Bless
 
I am familiar with what you describe. I suggest that your husband take a firm stand and instead of waiting/wishing/hoping for the force to leave, stand up to it. Declare that I/we ARE going to church Sunday mornings. We WILL be on time. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. As long as there’s a chance that you/hubby don’t really mean what you say, the devil will persist. Does that make sense? I think that once your husband is over this hurdle, the alcohol problem will go. That’s why the devil is trying so hard to keep him from Mass. Get tough! Remember who comes to steal, kill and destroy…don’t ket him do it!!!
 
I think of spiritual oppression in many forms.

One is like a brain freeze, but not always with the actual pain. In other words, one is mysteriously held back from being able to think or function as if this “freeze” had been going on, but without necessarily feeling the “freeze” itself.

The headaches, in my own personal experience, have actually be therapeutic at times in that they may help slow my racing thoughts down enough to deal with them at a lower rate. Since I’ve started into contemplative prayer and “studied” mysticism I’ve learned how to curb these things for the most part, so usually if there is no physical reason for a headache at any given time, I can “steer it away” almost at will, with about a 75% success rate. It sometimes takes five minutes or more, but it also takes confidence that if the headache goes away I’m not going to be suddenly immersed in some decision I have to make – probably based on partial information.

In a way, alcohol and headache work the same way in that they slow down our ability to process information, and both could provide an escape from the current reality. One is just more socially acceptable than the other, plus the physical symptoms of people is usually not considered their own responsibility so headaches are easier to get away with.

I know this may sound very strange to some people, but during my physical journey, I’ve learned to embrace, guide, and even enjoy my headaches. Those real eye-splitting ones I do take over the counter medications for, but the “normal” ones are better if I either handle them myself or otherwise see them through. In general I have very few headaches, but I still have the “oppression” without the headaches. It is very troubling, because I cannot explain myself to others when I’m in that condition and people might think I’m crazy. If they see me totally afraid to start a low risk project for no obvious reason, they think I’m lazy or crazy, but if I have a splitting headache they understand. Maybe headaches can be like spiritual “covers” that are put over some of our internal battles with out feeling.

Alan
 
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im_wildrose:
It seems like the more he wants to deepen his faith, the worse things get for him. The way he describes it is, he feels like he’s being pulled in two.
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This may be very troubling. He may be trying to hard on the surface and at academic attempts, when really he needs to firm up his own interior calling.

What is it that is pulling him in two? Does he feel like his marriage is in jeopardy because of the problems with his faith – and thus add “performance anxiety” to the list of difficulties in seeking such and overcoming his problems? I’m not suggesting that it is or isn’t, but just whether he thinks there is more at stake than just his own beliefs but his actual attachment to other people.

The reason is that in my own experienced, I will resist completely if I have even the slightest inkling that I’m being coerced. If somebody has my obedience, it is because I choose to give it to them and not because they outsmarted or overpowered me – under such situations it is only a matter of time until I escape their bonds. I guess not everybody is like me, but when I’m pulled toward something I have a difficult time learning to enjoy it and embrace it. Put a little more directly, I supposed, I’m saying that for people like me, being invited and encouraged, v being pushed and/or nagged, can be matters of very fine distinction and can make all the difference in the world as to my own progress at anything.

Alan
 
I have a couple of suggestions

These will help him begin to overcome the alcoholism, and should also help to overcome the spiritual oppression (if it is indeed spiritual oppression)

Daily Mass, if at all possible. I don’t know where you live, and I know this is difficult for most people because of time conflcts.

Daily, spend time with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, as a couple is best - especially exposed - Eucharistic Adoration. Hopefully there is a perpetual Adoration chapel within a reasonable distance from you.

Worst case scenario, if you can do neither - watch daily mass on EWTN - even if you need to tape it daily. Pray the Mass together, and make a fervent Spiritual Communion. Ask Jesus to come into your your hearts, and he will. He will give your husband strenght in his faith/ difficullties, and he will give you strenght where you need it. He will also bond you both together as a couple more deeply.

God Bless you, and I will keep you both in my prayers.
 
I have only read one case of this, Holly Pierot, who wrote “A Mother’s Rule of Life.” She has been to the MDs and psychologists, and was still having problems. Providentially, she had a great spiritual director. He recommended a deliverance prayer session, which he (a priest) conducted. She suggests that a holy priest was necessary, as he can confer graces not available via your average layperson.

I suggest finding a holy priest willing to look into this. And though I don’t “do” charismatic Mass anymore, in my youth, I found that you might be more likely to find these types of contacts in charismatic circles. If you have a Catholic charismatic center in your diocese, you might start there.
 
Pain is God’s megaphone.
The despair we go through is God’s love. But how can this be?
Because He wants us strong, and when we’re sorrowful, we’re paying attention.

He takes away the joy if only that we’ll seek it in His arms. What can I tell you about spiritual oppresion?

Better to suffer now then to suffer then. It’s God’s mercy 🙂
 
Hello: im_wildrose

I suffer from many of the same symptoms as your husband does. The headaches become much worse when in mass or when in a religious setting. Although my headaches do have a medical reason, it is the added stress that increases them.

In my case I have grave doubts that God exists and have a horrible time even attempting to go to mass and worse when I am there. I make myself go for the sake of my family, otherwise I would be gone. That constant struggle to go makes things worse. My headaches have been so bad I have collapsed at mass and had to be helped out.

You indicated that the priests think it has do to with the alcoholism, although that could be a contributing factor I would be hesitant to say it is the root cause. This may sound kind of out there, but since he has a disease has he recieved the anniointing of the sick? This is an extremely powerful sacrament. Even I was shocked at how I felt after I received it. If it is spiritual oppression and the bad guy is after your dh then the sacrament may help with that as well as him dealing with the alcoholism. He can have the sacrament done at home or church. It might be something to talk to the priest about.

The other suggestion about going to mass Saturday night may help as well, then there is no pressure to get up on Sunday and he may benefit from the added rest.

Hope this helps

scared
 
Does anyone know anything about spiritual oppression? He’s talked to a couple of priests about it but the impression we get is that they think it’s the alcholism that’s to blame. But, I’ve known my husband for over 15 years now and I know that he really and truly wants to get better. He hates himself for the way he is but feels like he just can’t shake how he’s feeling. And incidently, we eat very healthy, he’s 47, and has a physically demanding job. I really want to hear people’s thoughts on this.
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It seems the devil is trying to discourage me from writing to you. But I caught the Old Scratch! He kept closing the windows on my computer whenever I was almost finished typing what I wanted to say. Now I’ve forgotten much of what I originally meant to say!

Anyways, my brother experienced those same things your husband did. Oppression is real. I have never been kept from Mass but I have had things happen to me at night where strange things occur. One time I was unable to speak because of a demon, though I couldn’t see it. I wanted to scream out to my family for help but the thing wouldn’t let me. Then I prayed Jesus, help me! And the demon went away. It felt like something left my chest and came out of my throat and I was able to speak again.

Your husband should repeat the name of Jesus out loud throughout the day asking for deliverance and His loving grace. Demons flee when they hear the name of Jesus. And Jesus takes pity on those that thirst for Him. The Lord’s Prayer is my favorite deliverance prayer. The foremost thing your husband should do is go to confession. Confession is a type of exorcism and is the greatest weapon against Satan. Do everything you can to get your husband to the confessional and you can assume there to be difficulty.

–
John
 
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scared:
You indicated that the priests think it has do to with the alcoholism, although that could be a contributing factor I would be hesitant to say it is the root cause. This may sound kind of out there, but since he has a disease has he recieved the anniointing of the sick? This is an extremely powerful sacrament. Even I was shocked at how I felt after I received it. If it is spiritual oppression and the bad guy is after your dh then the sacrament may help with that as well as him dealing with the alcoholism. He can have the sacrament done at home or church. It might be something to talk to the priest about.
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When I was in a very deep period of spiritual confusion and psychiatric condition, I became suicidal and received anointing of the sick. It made a great deal of impact on my way of thinking, because it seemed to lesson the power of the sickness. To me, wrong thinking is a sickness in that most people don’t have a good leader to help them change the way they think except experience – for whatever that is worth to any given person. The root cause of problems could be spiritual, emotional, physical or social, or maybe some combination but either way that sacrament gave me confidence at a low time in my life.

edit>> maybe “a bit of serenity” is a better term than “confidence” but it helped calm the storm of confusion I think.

Alan
 
In my opinion, the root cause is the universal struggle between the human soul and God. We all do it; only when we acknowledge that we are the creatures and God alone is Almighty will we find what we are seeking.

In the end, regardless of what we call it, it’s a human decision that we make that is involved here. It’s a choice we make: to worship ourselves or to worship God.

I think it’s that simple, but of course, as with many simple things, we are a bit dense and seem to need to learn simple things over and over again. One day we will understand and we will be free of the struggle. It’s helpful to remember that God always wins in this struggle, and it pleases Him when we give up earlier rather than later, because He longs to shower upon us the peace we are seeking.

It’s like the stages of grief, I think. We go through those stages in our relationship with God. Bottom line: Either we surrender to God totally, or we reject Him and are in hell both here and hereafter.

It sounds like your husband is facing this choice. He would probably benefit from getting some therapy to deal with acceptance of his desire to be close to God and the internal changes in him that are required.
 
Hi all,

I haven’t been able to check in the last couple days but am glad to see so many helpful responses. Thank you all very much. A lot of what was said makes a lot of sense.

In response to your suggestions, Sat. night Mass is pretty much out of the question since I usually work Sat. nights. It will take nothing less than a miracle (or at least a HUGE prompting from the Holy Spirit!!) to get Keith to daily Mass, but, as they say, nothing is impossible with God so, who knows! lol Confession is a big thing that I know he needs and he has been thinking of going recently so there’s definite hope there. It’s just so hard to watch him struggling with this. Oh, in regards to him feeling pulled apart, he feels what would best be described as the two forces battling for his soul. You and I know that God will always triumph in a battle like that but he doesn’t and that’s what’s causing a lot of the trouble I think. He feels like he has to be the one to fight the fight and win the battle. I try to explain to him that the only thing we need to do is pray and ask Jesus to help but I don’t think he believes it completely.

Anyway, thank you again so much. Please pray for Keith. He is a good man and I know that God is calling him to be a better, fuller, healthier, stronger, more faith-filled man.

God bless, Jen
 
Hi I have much information related to addictions confusion etc.
We as Catholics have the answer which relates to releasing past experiences. The answer is in “forgiveness”
I often use this, especially when suggesting to people that non of the situation they are in are a blame situation, especially self. If you can remember that people say and do what they do at that particular time because thats how they think they should at that time, OK? The point is gaining back your own power, and in this instance there could be two situations .
1 hidden guilt from the past and
2 I believe that as usuall some other interferer is trying to disrupt your christian life, and we all know who that is and that he will play with your mind , emotions, and will power every time we allow him the chance to do so.
So, remembering that there is NO blame here, there are some questions you have to be truthful about and ask youself.
1 can you forgive yourself for getting into the situation you were in in drink, letting it take over your life?-----------------------
can you forgive those other people who you might have entered into the situation with ?--------------------
And thirdly can you now let these situations go to the foot of Jesus Christ on the cross for ever?---------------
If you can say yes to these then all of these past situations will be gone as fare as the east is to the west (for ever).

The other point of the mind is that you will need to remember every time you have a temptation to become anoid at something it is not the situation that seems so real that you are getting annoid at, but it is your mind that is being tempered with and there you have the tools in the bible to tell he who is putting those thoughts there to go from you in the name of Jesus Christ. You have the power in Jesus name. Ask all thoughts on your mind to give praise to Jesus Chrise. That is one thing the adverser cannot do ever. I have done this on many occasions, believe me it works, just keep on going, never give up 🙂
God bless you all.
Wayne
 
wow

I had no idea what people go through when learning about the faith who are letting go of an old one.

Well here are a couple of thoughts that should be considered:
  1. there is something called cognitive dissonance which involves an inner mental conflict.
  2. I think perhaps the person who is leading the rcia class for your husband is not the right person for your husband. he or she may not be qualified to adequately deal with your husband’s background. he may be better off having one on one sessions with a highly intelligent priest. he really needs to find someone who he can talk to OPENLY about his beliefs and how it ties into the catholic faith. he should not be feeling that he must reject everything jewish. most of the catholic religion is jewish. and if he is being told not to appreciate that then i can see why he would have a problem.
i would suggest you attend rcia with him a few times to study the personal manner of the rcia teacher. see how he/she responds to questions…is he/she able to treat people with respect or is he/she more intent on covering the material rather than responding to objections and questions. who is his sponsor? you? how do you treat him on this topic? are you respectful to him and his views? are you able to give intelligent answers or does the conversation degrade into an emotional argument?

I strongly feel he does not have the right teacher and someone else should be found while he continues to attend classes.
his behavior reminds me of students who are being picked on in school and get a tummy ache or what have you. there is a social problem at this rcia group or the group dynamics are not ideal for learning. I strongly urge you to find him a priest that he can have one on one discussions with to get more into depth with him on these matters where he can talk openly and disagree without fear of rejection or reprisals. this should be a positive learning experience for him not a negative one.
 
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