What do I confess when I don't know what to confess?

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Timidity

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A little biographic backgroud to set up the question:

I was raised very marginally Catholic, and to say that I was poorly catechised would be giving my youth more credit than it deserves. I eventually left the Church. I came back to the Church about six months ago. I set the date as Good Friday, when I went to my first confession in 25 years, and, really, my first ever “real” confession. It was really a great thing.

Anyway… I made it 13 or 14 weeks before I did something that I thought to be a mortal sin. So I went to confession. I actually thought I was doing pretty good–it felt much easier to say “…it has been 14 weeks since my last confession…” than it was to say “25 years.”

Like I said–I thought I was doing pretty good until my confessor said “How long?”

“14 weeks, Father.”

“I want to see you here every month.”

Oh, well. :o

So I have since been going to confession every month. Fortunately (or not), I have always done a mortal-type sin thing before going, so I’ve always had something to say when I’m there.

Of course, my goal is to not commot mortal sin. Or any sin for that matter.

But what will I confess when I finally succeed and it’s confession week?

I mean, all the great Saints went to confession more frequently than I do. Surely my life isn’t less sinful then theirs.

So what am I missing? Am I blind to my own sin?

Isn’t it possible to go a month without committing mortal sin?

This issue stresses me out majorly. I have lots of trouble in unfamiliar situations, and confession is still unfamiliar. Confession with nothing to confess is even more unfamiliar. More than that it seems arrogant. “I didn’t sin this month, Father.” Yeah, right.

I know, I’m rambling. Sorry.

Insights, please?
 
Welcome back home, friend!

I would suggest getting your hands on an examination of conscience–Catholic bookstores usually have at least a brochure on it, if not some small books. For instance, our parish has brochures outside the Confessional which provide questions one may ask oneself in order to fully examine one’s conscience prior to Confession. They are really helpful. They explain in no uncertain terms what is mortal sin and what is venial sin.

I used to be something like you, until I got my hands on that brochure! Then I discovered that I was much more sinful than I thought!! So then I started going to Confession every month and now it is every week. I get so much out of it, it really is helping me to grow spiritually. It used to make me nervous, and now I actually look forward to it, because it keeps me honest and it points me back to Jesus always and that is the goal!

God bless!
 
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Timidity:
Insights, please?
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try this…I hope it will help

scborromeo.org/confess.htm
 
I agree with NightRider – there are some great helps to examine our consciences and get us in the right frame of mind for confession.

One that our priest frequently asks is “Are you loving Jesus enough?” Wow, I don’t think we can ever get that right until He perfects us Himself in heaven!

I often think of the times I grumble as I’m doing dishes or laundry instead of thanking God for food and clothing. That wasn’t very loving of me.

I get impatient with my family when I’m trying to do something (read, be on the forums for a few minutes) and I constantly get interrupted. Sometimes I’m really short with them, and then I think – that wasn’t a very Christian example to my children, or my husband. That wasn’t selfless at all. That wasn’t like Jesus at all.

Sometimes we think sin has to be something very drastic, which sometimes it is, but it is also all the little times we fail to think of others more than ourselves, when we let our sin of pride take over instead of opening our hearts and lives to Jesus, taking credit for a good job on something instead of saying “Only through God could this have been accomplished!”

Did you know the Pope goes to confession every week? If he’s going weekly, then I know I’d better get myself there quick!
 
Just so you know you’re not alone, your post could’ve been written by me. I have been a devout and enthusiatic Catholic steeping myself in Scripture and apologetics since my re-version 20 years ago, but I still find myself ill at ease in the confessional. Not that I don’t believe in the sacrament–I do! But I am often not sure if the things I am confessing are worth confessing, or if I should just go and let the priest be the judge of that. I’ve tried a few examinations of conscience, but they never seem to apply much to my situation. I have lots of daiIy failures and sins I could confess (just ask my wife!), but then I feel like I’m reciting a laundry list. I have never been ill-treated or treated with impatience by a confessor, but I always feel like I’m wasting his time nonetheless.

I’d be interested in seeing the replies you get on this.
 
The various saints confessed their venial sins & imperfections to gain the grace through the sacrament to overcome them. It helps if, when confessing your regular failings you focus on one in particular which you are going to try and over come (e.g. making disparaging comments) and keep focusing on that until you overcome it, it can take months/years. Then move on to the next one.

PS. You should still confess all the failings you think of

PPS. I personally think that the priest would be pleased to absolve someone who only has minor faults, it shows people who are taking their Christian responsibilities seriously
 
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Timidity:
But what will I confess when I finally succeed and it’s confession week?
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Confess all your sins. If you don’t have any mortal sins, thank the Lord and confess your venial sins.

If you don’t have any venial sins in a month’s time period, than you have much to be thankful for. However, you may be simply unaware of your venial sins (or mortal sins). If you end up having no sins after 1 month, mortal or venial, go to confession anyway and simply speak to your confessor about what you’ve concluded. Then ask him to recommend something to help you to better examine your conscience. Here’s an example: catholic-pages.com/penance/examine.asp

Remember, there are sins of commission (bad things you do) and sins of omission (good things you don’t do).
 
I think you will find that when confession becomes a regular habit, and you find a booklet on confession with a good examination of conscience, you will find this becomes a non-issue, and you will never find yourself in the position of having nothing juicy to confess. If you should wake up and find yourself sinless one fine day, look around for clouds and a harp.
 
It’s a funny thing, but we can learn much about confession from children! When my oldest son was preparing for his first penance, we talked about the sorts of things that could have been done “better” (ie — what else could you have done when you got angry with your friend rather than make a nasty comment?) He LOVES going to confession (he’s 9 yo.) now and views it as his time to share his “shortcomings” with the priest & ask for help to be a better person 🙂

I think that sometimes we, as adults, tend to view confessionas something for only grave sins but the healing feeling of “cleansing your soul” to someone who has your best interest at heart is truly an uplifting experience!

Just my 0.02 on this topic!
JL - busy mama to 3 active children and one angel in heaven
 
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mamax3:
I think that sometimes we, as adults, tend to view confessionas something for only grave sins but the healing feeling of “cleansing your soul” to someone who has your best interest at heart is truly an uplifting experience!
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I’m always amazingly conscious of how much of the confessor’s time I’m taking up, and how long the line was behind me. I’m afraid of being “selfish” by taking up too much of his time, especially with the “little stuff.”
 
Frequent confession improves your spiritual eyesight - you begin to see more and more of your failings as you raise your standards. I’d like to recommend one of my favorite books - Frequent Confession, by Benedict Baur. Here’s a link to buy it online.

Betsy
 
I whole heartedly agree with everyones suggestions about finding a good Examination of Con… (spelling skills aren’t all that good!) But if you want a shorter one, just use the 10 commandments! I don’t know them well enough to type them all up here but maybe a better theologian than I will come along take pity on my ignorance and stick them up here for you.

So if your having trouble coming up with stuff just think of the 10 commandments and think, “how well did I follow them?” I know what your thinking now, Thou shalt not kill I 'll never break that one. Yeah you will probably never kill someone physically but hows about spiritually? If you were mean to someone that knows your a Christian that might turn them off to Christianity which in the end has the same effect as killing them.

Welp I’m all typed out now but I hope I have helped in some way shape or form!

Peace.
 
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Timidity:
Like I said–I thought I was doing pretty good until my confessor said “How long?”

“14 weeks, Father.”

“I want to see you here every month.”
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Good for your priest. I wish more priests would tell people this.

I used to go to confession only about once every two or three months. When I started going monthly, I had the same question about what to confess. One day I realized I had never even considered sins of omission, Once started, I found that monthly was no longer too often - in fact, it wasn’t even enough.

Now I go weekly, and still find I have a lot to talk about. I finally had to make an appointment for one hour every Thursday afternoon. (Yes, an hour, and by having it as an appointment, I don’t have to worry about lines building up behind me. What do we talk about for an hour? Well, there are my sins, and then there are my assignments (readings he wants me to do). It has been very helpful in my spiritual development.

I suggest you ask the Holy Spirit to tell you what you need to tell the priest - as well as a good guide to an examination of conscience.
 
Everyone here ought to be doing an Examination of Conscience every evening. I admit I don’t do it very often and I’m trying to get into the habit. Such nightly examinations help us prepare to go to confession, and you’ll find yourself wanting to go to confession more often.
 
I don’t go to Confession as often as I should. I am trying to improve, but I, too, notice that sometimes I have trouble figuring out my sins. I am looking more and more at my sins of omission, which are numerous. Another thing that really helps is praying that the Holy Spirit will reveal my sin to me. This has greatly helped, as in just the past week I realized that something I have been doing for years, something I’ve never seen on any printed examination of conscience, is distracting me from God. Now that I now, I am struggling to do away with that habit. My question is whether or not something is a sin just because it is a weakness? Is everything that is not conducive to spiritual growth a sin? Obviously all weaknesses should be fought against, but are they all sins? For example, fear can distract us from God and prevent us from loving as we should, but is being afraid a sin if we try to work and pray through it?
 
Scripture has it that a pious person offends God seven times a day. Those of us “less pious” are sure to do it more often. The Pope feels a need to confess his sins three times a week. Mother Thersa felt that she needed to confess her sins daily.
 
These are great thoughts…I’d add the suggestion to read the Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis if you’re looking for thoughts on ways one might be sinning (for confessing, NOT committing!).

So given all that, what do you do when you KNOW the confessor will tell you simply that it’s good you came, you receive great graces from the sacrament, and say “Jesus, I love You!” ten times for your penance. Doesn’t matter what you tell him. It gets real unsettling at times, too! He’s VERY consistent this way! Now, granted, the guy is 90-something, was a WWII chaplain, was ordained in the '30s, and no doubt has seen and heard it ALL. And he’s in full possession of his faculties, in case anyone was wondering… Any thoughts?
 
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