P
Prudence2
Guest
So yesterday I was browsing a ton of the forums on this website, and to be honest, I was shocked by most of what I read. Maybe my possible ignorance is due to the fact I just got into my first relationship since I had a two-week fling six years ago ( which was back in my lukewarm days when I went to a very progressive, secular, pro-LGBT high school), so I have no experience with Catholic dating up until now.
Basically, leading up to this point, I had always thought that the only sinful kind of physical contact in pre-marital relationships is touching any of the intimate areas (such as the parts that would be covered by a modest bikini or swim shorts). But I’d always thought that any kind of kissing was fine, (though before marriage, I personally would prefer to keep french kissing pretty minimal and refrain from necking and/or kissing for more than two minutes.) However, a majority of the threads on this website implied that kissing your boyfriend/girlfriend on the lips for more than a few seconds is an objectively grave matter… some even said that passionate kissing between spouses is sinful outside of procreation. I considered a lot of this an extreme opposite from what I’ve thought previously, and I was wondering if I could have some clarification on the matter, especially because I want to share a chaste relationship with my boyfriend? (He’s 27 and I’m almost 23, by the way, and we’re both Catholic.)
I have learned a lot from my reading yesterday that intention is crucial when it comes to this kind of intimacy (i.e. it is definitely sinful if you kiss someone you’re dating with the intention of arousing them). I honestly had never assessed my desires in that way, but after reflecting on those points, I totally agree with them. I will definitely be mindful of this in my relationship here on out. But I do have some particular questions concerning the objective morality of certain kinds of kissing and what boundaries need to be set before marriage:
Basically, leading up to this point, I had always thought that the only sinful kind of physical contact in pre-marital relationships is touching any of the intimate areas (such as the parts that would be covered by a modest bikini or swim shorts). But I’d always thought that any kind of kissing was fine, (though before marriage, I personally would prefer to keep french kissing pretty minimal and refrain from necking and/or kissing for more than two minutes.) However, a majority of the threads on this website implied that kissing your boyfriend/girlfriend on the lips for more than a few seconds is an objectively grave matter… some even said that passionate kissing between spouses is sinful outside of procreation. I considered a lot of this an extreme opposite from what I’ve thought previously, and I was wondering if I could have some clarification on the matter, especially because I want to share a chaste relationship with my boyfriend? (He’s 27 and I’m almost 23, by the way, and we’re both Catholic.)
I have learned a lot from my reading yesterday that intention is crucial when it comes to this kind of intimacy (i.e. it is definitely sinful if you kiss someone you’re dating with the intention of arousing them). I honestly had never assessed my desires in that way, but after reflecting on those points, I totally agree with them. I will definitely be mindful of this in my relationship here on out. But I do have some particular questions concerning the objective morality of certain kinds of kissing and what boundaries need to be set before marriage:
- Is it wrong to share an affectionate, gentle kiss with your boyfriend/girlfriend for up to two minutes?
- What duration of a kiss would be considered prolonged/passionate?
- Is slightly parting the lips while you kiss considered chaste, or must it be completely and absolutely closed-mouthed?
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