When you shopped for a car with your husband/wife

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Lucky7

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Did you only go with each other or did you bring a friend along? We’re going this Saturday and my husband has also asked his friend to come too. Part of me thinks I’m wrong for letting this bother me; the other part of me is wondering why my husband would even want his friend around. We’re looking at one car that my husband has his eye on.

To be clear I am not upset by it or angry about it, but it bugs me…not sure why. Maybe because i’m thinking this is something a married couple does together…alone?

So, I’m looking for (name removed by moderator)ut from both husbands and the wives here (so yes, women are allowed to respond…lol 😉
 
We didn’t, but we could have. It could actually be very useful to have a friend along to play “bad cop”…to point out everything wrong with the deal, to talk about other dealers, other makes of cars, that kind of thing. If there are three of you along, absolutely one of you ought to be that guy, because the salesperson will be “good cop” and then some, be sure of that! 😃
 
I had a friend who was an excellent mechanic, my wife and I used to take him along every time we looked for a car.
 
If the friend knows more about cars than you and your husband, it could be a good thing.

This is from a wife. 🙂
 
EasterJoy said:
We didn’t, but we could have. It could actually be very useful to have a friend along to play “bad cop”…to point out everything wrong with the deal, to talk about other dealers, other makes of cars, that kind of thing. If there are three of you along, absolutely one of you ought to be that guy, because the salesperson will be “good cop” and then some, be sure of that! 😃
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I guess all of my single life I never had a friend along. I handled it alone, so I was my own bad cop.
 
Lucky7 said:
Did you only go with each other or did you bring a friend along? We’re going this Saturday and my husband has also asked his friend to come too. Part of me thinks I’m wrong for letting this bother me; the other part of me is wondering why my husband would even want his friend around. We’re looking at one car that my husband has his eye on.

To be clear I am not upset by it or angry about it, but it bugs me…not sure why. Maybe because i’m thinking this is something a married couple does together…alone?

So, I’m looking for (name removed by moderator)ut from both husbands and the wives here (so yes, women are allowed to respond…lol 😉
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I’d rather leave it to the men, frankly. I have found that car salesmen are despicable for the most part and will talk to me about the color of the car, the nice leather seats, and the make-up mirror on the passenger side, not knowing that I am the person who gets all the mechanical stuff done on all of our cars and knows how to change the oil and what noises coming from under the hood are serious.

I would ask your husband why he wants the friend along. Is he going to use him as a foil, to slow things down or to remind your husband vocally that other deals are better? Or is he more mechanical or more knowledgeable about cars in some way?

If you can trust your husband’s judgment, and he won’t sign a contract without letting you know, I’d be tempted to let the two of them go while I stayed home and did my nails or something.

🤷
 
My wife tells me what she wants then tells me to go find it. She HATES dealing with car salesmen, she hates the paperwork and refuses to have anything to do with it. She was a little taken back when I bought a Kia Sendona (was expecting a Toyota or Dodge) last time but after she drove it a couple days she knew why I bought it.
 
I just decided to tell him to go with his friend alone the first time…and then we would go together and make the decision together. He’s cool with that. I don’t know. I feel like a third wheel otherwise and really wasn’t too keen on it.
 
Lucky7 said:
I just decided to tell him to go with his friend alone the first time…and then we would go together and make the decision together. He’s cool with that. I don’t know. I feel like a third wheel otherwise and really wasn’t too keen on it.
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trust your instincts. that’s what i was going to say. it isn’t about whether you’d be a third wheel, but about whether you’d be outnumbered, outshined, or even just plain uncomfortable. i don’t know what your situation is, but trust yourself. if you’re not comfortable, then there’s a reason.
 
If he has his eyes on one particular car, the dealership has him in the palm of their hand. He must be willing and able to walk away from any deal - and let them know that.
 
One advantage of going separately is you can always say you have to check with your wife first before agreeing to a purchase. You can also cover twice as much territory in the same amount of time.

I had a friend come along once because he was an excellent negotiator which he helped me with. I think it can be more valuable than a mechanic, especially if you’re looking for a new car.

Mechanics are hesitant about recommending a particular car for obvious reasons, so the next time I am in the market, I’ll ask mine which ones to avoid since he works on all makes.

Good luck. 🙂
 
po18guy said:
If he has his eyes on one particular car, the dealership has him in the palm of their hand. He must be willing and able to walk away from any deal - and let them know that.
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Agreed. I will suggest that he not show it and even say he is looking at other makes and models. This is the sort of thing I did when I shopped by myself.
 
We go together … altho my husband used to sell cars for a living, so I’m the “buffer” …

I LOVE cars! Came from a father, 2 brothers who LOVED cars.
 
I have bought cars from a dealership rarely. Most of our cars have been private party sales. We have them checked out by a mechanic. I wouldn’t mind a friend coming along. Our mechanic finds cars for us at times. I let my husband buy one car without my (name removed by moderator)ut. My nick name for the car was “the coffin”. The short time we had it the lights never worked, had a tire fall off and one accident in it. Not the cars fault it was a young driver who lost control of his car but it was in th coffin so I still blame the car. We sold it to the junk yard. Since then I always check to see if the lights, head and signal work on a car.
 
Lucky7 said:
Agreed. I will suggest that he not show it and even say he is looking at other makes and models. This is the sort of thing I did when I shopped by myself.
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Years ago, I was an auto theft detective and worked on cases with many car dealers. I picked up a few of the tricks of the trade, and also how to turn them around to my benefit. But, if you absolutely love that car, and have to have it, prepare to pay.
 
EasterJoy said:
We didn’t, but we could have. It could actually be very useful to have a friend along to play “bad cop”…to point out everything wrong with the deal, to talk about other dealers, other makes of cars, that kind of thing. If there are three of you along, absolutely one of you ought to be that guy, because the salesperson will be “good cop” and then some, be sure of that! 😃
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👍
TheRealJuliane said:
I’d rather leave it to the men, frankly. I have found that car salesmen are despicable for the most part and will talk to me about the color of the car, the nice leather seats, and the make-up mirror on the passenger side, not knowing that I am the person who gets all the mechanical stuff done on all of our cars and knows how to change the oil and what noises coming from under the hood are serious.
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That doesn’t seem right by me. If they really do that to get on the wife’s good side, I’d suggest she also bring her friend along to point out how the shade clashes, how hot leather gets in the summer, etc.
 
po18guy said:
If he has his eyes on one particular car, the dealership has him in the palm of their hand. He must be willing and able to walk away from any deal - and let them know that.
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I have done that, and it worked. The issue was over a $1,000 rebate. I refuse to pay sales tax on a rebate because that’s my money. California, I learned, makes the dealers charge it. To get around it, I make the dealer drop the price an additional $1,000 and I refuse the rebate. I now live in AZ, and it does not charge sales tax on the rebate nor the value of your trade-in. :extrahappy: The tax is figured on the difference.

Whatever you do, don’t agree to a price plus taxes and fees; they can charge almost anything for “fees”, even the secretary’s lunch. Take a calculator with you. I once had a dealer try to charge me $90 “DMV” fees. I called the DMV the next morning and asked how much they charge to change a registration. Answer: $6. What I do is write down a bottom line, best-and-final, drive away, what-I-make-my-check-out-for, count-three-and-switch-money-for-keys price, and I don’t budge from it. I tell them if they want to sell me the car, they will find a way to do it for my price. If they still say no, I give them my business card and tell them to call me if they change their mind.

One more thing most people don’t know about: some states allow the buyer to walk away from a deal even after he has signed everything put under his nose … until he has “taken delivery”. This means once you have driven it off the lot. They try to get you to do that so they can control the transaction. I declined to do that once, and things got nasty right away. But that’s OK because you are in control instead. Speaking of signing the papers, you should insist on seeing them all before you start signing because the order can make a difference.
 
Last time I bought a car I took my husband with me. He’s a lawyer, so it’s nice to have him look over the paperwork. Plus, although he is the nicest guy in the world, he is a very physically imposing man. That tends to cut down on some of the foolishness women sometimes get from car salesmen.
 
BettyBoop416 said:
Last time I bought a car I took my husband with me. He’s a lawyer, so it’s nice to have him look over the paperwork. Plus, although he is the nicest guy in the world, he is a very physically imposing man. That tends to cut down on some of the foolishness women sometimes get from car salesmen.
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I’d love to be a fly on the wall of the manager’s office after you tell the salesman, “I’m Betty and this is my lawyer, Max…”
 
I’m terrible at closing a deal…there are some good points in this thread I’ll remember next time I get a vehicle. One for sure is writing down the price…my dad did that and it worked every time. He knew they would have to get approval for the prices he wrote down and it was already on paper…
 
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