A
AlanFromWichita
Guest
This poll is biased, so it’s OK if you wish to point that out – or not.
I heard a TV preacher once refer to two-income-earning families as a “two headed monster” because to income earners both feel that the income they bring in gives them the right to call the shots on how it is to be used.
Then he admitted that he hires women to work in his ministry. He was not being hypocritical, but just pointing out a lot of what he sees in marriage partners whom he counsels. He didn’t think there was anything sinful about women being employed, but it does lead to power struggles.
I’ve heard others say the man should have final authority.
The evidence doesn’t support that. Every happily married old man I’ve discussed it in grocery checkout lines says the key to a long lasting marriage is to do what you’re told. Therefore happily married men report the key to success if to let the woman be the boss.
Of course, we all know that a smart woman will maintain control by making the man think he is really in charge.
Right?
On a related topic, in two earner families, whose career is important enough to uproot the family and move out of town even if to the detriment of the others’ career? What is the basis of that – the one with most future $$ earning potential? Current salary? Ability to be promoted? The one who has strongest emotional attachment to job? Who cares, if I like the new city better maybe I’ll move on that basis? Is it good to move kids to new schools in new towns?
Alan
I heard a TV preacher once refer to two-income-earning families as a “two headed monster” because to income earners both feel that the income they bring in gives them the right to call the shots on how it is to be used.
Then he admitted that he hires women to work in his ministry. He was not being hypocritical, but just pointing out a lot of what he sees in marriage partners whom he counsels. He didn’t think there was anything sinful about women being employed, but it does lead to power struggles.
I’ve heard others say the man should have final authority.
The evidence doesn’t support that. Every happily married old man I’ve discussed it in grocery checkout lines says the key to a long lasting marriage is to do what you’re told. Therefore happily married men report the key to success if to let the woman be the boss.
Of course, we all know that a smart woman will maintain control by making the man think he is really in charge.
Right?
On a related topic, in two earner families, whose career is important enough to uproot the family and move out of town even if to the detriment of the others’ career? What is the basis of that – the one with most future $$ earning potential? Current salary? Ability to be promoted? The one who has strongest emotional attachment to job? Who cares, if I like the new city better maybe I’ll move on that basis? Is it good to move kids to new schools in new towns?
Alan
I don’t know who makes more money, and I don’t care. I let my parents make decisions as they wish.
I think the key to being successful in any relationship is to have agreement on who does what, whether it is money, chores, whatever. I don’t think it really matters which is the one to make “The Decision” as long as both agree to it. I know some men who are terrible at finances, so the women do it, and I know some women whose idea of money management is “I still have checks left, so I must still have money to spend”. If two people try to control the same thing, you will have conflict. But if one person is strong (or has strong opinions) in one area, where the other doesn’t, it usually works out fine. Money itself isn’t the problem, it is power. If one person resents the other’s power, then that will cause difficulties. But if both are working together and one doesn’t feel thwarted, then it is fine. Just my :twocents: .
I do not think it is the wisest decision, but he feels it is. I must, yield to him, because he is my husband. He’ll see, sooner or later, that it was the wrong one, but HE must see it himself, not me forcing things. This, I believe is the key. Just like I believe, when women are full-force career women by choice, (not necessity), they become much less feminine, and this can and does turn men away. But alot of times, we women must realize this ourselves too, which I did, luckily, before my marriage ended. So, yes, I believe in role definition. And thank God for them, for making us different.
