“So you’re thinking of RCIA? That’s complicated...”

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StephenBales

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Hey y’all, and thanks in adavance for your responses.

So, over the past few months, I’ve been reading heavily into the Catholic Church. I’m becoming not-so-slowly convinced that it is the true Church, and that I am desperately in need of joining. But there’s a problem. My whole family—extended family as well—is Protestant, and my father is even the senior pastor at the Baptist Church we currently attend.
Now, I’m 10 years past the age of reason (7, right?), but not yet a legal adult. I also don’t have a car, or even my full license yet. I don’t think my dad would accept an inkling toward Catholicism in me to begin, but that I also have no Catholic friends or another way to get to Santa Cruz on Main Street, I’m sure he’d reject the move in me wholesale. He certainly doesn’t want to take me, right?
In any case, were I completely able to choose to enter RCIA (reliable transportation, legal adulthood (yes, he would cite that in an argument)), I’m pretty confident that he would interpret the move as a betrayal of him and our church, as we left our old Baptist Church of 11 years, so he could pastor here, a mere year and a half ago.
I desperately want to enter into full communion as a practicing Catholic. But I fear that my father won’t let me, it will hurt terribly to wait until I move out and have my own transportation (money problems—might be a few years), and it will likely hurt him as well. How in the world do I move forward??
Sorry for the rambling. I know this is a lot of info; if you can’t recommend a path forward, even words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

God bless!
Stephen Bales

EDIT: I do have one practicing Catholic friend, but she’s two grades below me (so we likely won’t have classes together this year), and I couldn’t catch a ride with her to Mass every Saturday because, well, my parents see all.
 
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As hard as it is to think about, it sounds like this is not the time for you to enter RCIA, no matter how much you want to. That’s a real burden to bear. But there are some things to consider in the meantime.

You can read, both here and elsewhere, so that you know more about the Catholic Church and her beliefs and practices. You can pray. Definitely pray! And you can think about your plans after high school. Many colleges have Catholic campus ministry centers or Newnan Centers where you would be able to go to Mass, meet other young Catholics, participate in activities, and participate in RCIA. As you are looking at colleges, you might make this one of your (perhaps unstated) criteria.
 
@SuscipeMeDomine unfortunately, college likely is not an option. Maybe community college (I hope)! In that case, as would be ideal, Santa Cruz is less than a half hour away. Still have to wait until I have a car and have moved out, though :confused:

And indeed, I have been praying about this, and reading a lot! As most any Baptist will tell you, I’m probably still not praying enough! I did order a rosary, though, which, if possible, I plan on having blessed ASAP! Let’s just hope my folks don’t find it before it’s time, or even intercept it at the mailbox!! 😬
 
I don’t think you should try to go to RCIA against your parent’s wishes. It would be deceptive toward them and you’d probably have to deceive the RCIA instructor in order for you to be allowed to do it. You need to wait for that until you are an adult. However, you CAN do the most important step which is to pray for discernment and continue to learn. Read the works of the Church Fathers. I doubt your dad would disallow that. Continue to ask questions. The Church will still be ready to receive you when the appropriate time comes.
 
Thanks @Allegra, much as I hate to see that both you and @SuscipeMeDomine are right! Do you know where I can find the writings of the early Church Fathers? I tried to search for them online, but I could only find chunks and cut up or even edited pieces.
 
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You have received some excellent advise here. @(name removed by moderator) is a great source. I went against my Baptist family at the age of 60. It was the most difficult thing I had to do, but it is the best decision I have ever made. If you’re able, watch EWTN television. They have varied programs, often on the early church fathers and saints. Prayers and blessings on your journey.
 
Agreed! On the excellent advice, that is, but I don’t doubt I’ll eventually be in agreement that it will be the best decision of my life!
 
Thank you so much for praying for me! And at the risk of sounding ungrateful or maybe even rude, I’ll have to disagree with you on my being special 😊
 
When the time comes and you do decide to enter the Church, and you have to tell your dad about your conversion, it might make the conversation go a lot better if you preface the news with a statement of gratitude for what your dad has taught you growing up and the example of righteousness and love he gave you. That might help him understand that it isn’t rejection of him that calls you to convert but a fulfillment of the love of Christ and the love of Scripture that compels you to seek the Truth. Not to pry, but are you frequently at odds with Dad, or is this the only major thing?
 
@Allegra, we are, unfortunately, both very contentious individuals. So we butt heads a lot. It’s usually small things (which is perhaps more unfortunate), but it will occasionally get into differences of politics, and even more occasionally settle on issues of Christian doctrine.
 
I am a convert though a late life one. In my diocese StephenBales would have to wait until he was eighteen. I would recommend that anyway. The OP should work on getting a car and some financial independence.

I would recommend praying the Rosary daily and studying Church history and the Early Fathers. You are going to get an onslaught of attacks on the Church as soon as you announce your intentions. You can pray the Rosary on your hands.

Tread carefully when discussing theology. You might tell your father that you want to know what the Mass is like. You know, just curious, sort of. Please don’t expect him to drive you to Mass.
 
StephenBales said:
Hey y’all, and thanks in adavance for your responses.

So, over the past few months, I’ve been reading heavily into the Catholic Church. I’m becoming not-so-slowly convinced that it is the true Church, and that I am desperately in need of joining. But there’s a problem. My whole family—extended family as well—is Protestant, and my father is even the senior pastor at the Baptist Church we currently attend.
Now, I’m 10 years past the age of reason (7, right?), but not yet a legal adult. I also don’t have a car, or even my full license yet. I don’t think my dad would accept an inkling toward Catholicism in me to begin, but that I also have no Catholic friends or another way to get to Santa Cruz on Main Street, I’m sure he’d reject the move in me wholesale. He certainly doesn’t want to take me, right?
In any case, were I completely able to choose to enter RCIA (reliable transportation, legal adulthood (yes, he would cite that in an argument)), I’m pretty confident that he would interpret the move as a betrayal of him and our church, as we left our old Baptist Church of 11 years, so he could pastor here, a mere year and a half ago.
I desperately want to enter into full communion as a practicing Catholic. But I fear that my father won’t let me, it will hurt terribly to wait until I move out and have my own transportation (money problems—might be a few years), and it will likely hurt him as well. How in the world do I move forward??
Sorry for the rambling. I know this is a lot of info; if you can’t recommend a path forward, even words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

God bless!
Stephen Bales

EDIT: I do have one practicing Catholic friend, but she’s two grades below me (so we likely won’t have classes together this year), and I couldn’t catch a ride with her to Mass every Saturday because, well, my parents see all.
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Are you currently still in the Austin area? It looks like there are 20 parishes in the immediate Austin area. Are None of them close by to you?

Just curious, did you give your story already? If so I’d like to read it. Prayers ascending for you and your journey.
 
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Just a brief note to say that the financial independence part of the equation is vital. I didn’t achieve full independence of my dad until age twenty-three, and it’s the best move I ever made. We also used to butt heads quite a lot, and becoming self-supporting meant I could make the life decisions I knew were best for me. Try your best to nail down this aspect of things as soon as possible, and I think the rest will fall into place much more readily. And make it a clean break! No borrowing money, no renting a room in dad’s house, none of that. The slightest weakness in this area will give him the opportunity to reassert dominance over you and try to control your decisions even after you are a legal adult. God be with you, friend.
 
Amazing your here and wanting to be Catholic. Really curious on how you even started to search outside of your family’s Baptist faith and find the Catholic Church.

For me recently was accepting the truth that the Catholic Church was the real actual church the Apostles founded. Still going strong 2000+ years later. Can’t deny this historical fact.
 
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It is great news that God is calling you to the Catholic Church. My family and I are in the process of changing from the Baptist church to the Catholic church (we are in the UK). However, my eldest son, who is 16, wants to stay at the Baptist church. We have arranged transport for him each week and he has our blessing. I agree with the other posters that you need to be open with your parents. Don’t try to go behind their backs or feel you have to hide your beliefs. Read up, try to find some more Catholic friends and gradually make your feelings known to your parents. If you find a practising Catholic you could tell your parents that they have asked you to go to Mass with them to see what it’s all about. Easier said than done, I know. Keep praying. If God is calling you, it will happen in His time.
 
What is it you plan on doing after high school? Is there some reason you need to live at home after you graduate and, presumably, start working full time?
 
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StephenBales said:
@SuscipeMeDomine unfortunately, college likely is not an option. Maybe community college (I hope
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You know, if you want to go to college and money is an issue, there are ways around that. Scholarships, loans, work-study, etc. I’m not one of those people who thinks everyone must go to college, but if you do want to and tuition is an issue, that’s not an insurmountable obstacle.

I just mention this because RCIA is obviously going to be a lot easier once you’re out on your own and not as dependent on your folks.
 
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