🤔 Ending a text message in a period is passive aggressive ( ? )

[ThinkingSapien]

This is a language evolution change for which I have no fondness. In a text conversation, ending a sentence with a period is taken as serious and passive agressive. Any agreement? Disagreement?

Article:

Are Your Texts Passive-Aggressive? The Answer May Lie In Your Punctuation​

The Denver-based writer had sent her high school-aged son a text message about logistics — coming home from school.

"I could tell from his response that he was agitated all of a sudden in our thread. And when he came home, he walked in the door and he came over and he said, ‘What did you mean by this?’ "

Rooks was confused. How could an innocuous text message send confusion?

"And so we looked at the text together and I said, ‘Well, I meant, see you later, or something. I don’t remember exactly what it said.’ And he said, ‘But you ended with a period! I thought you were really angry!’ "

But in text messaging — at least for younger adults — periods do more than just end a sentence: they also can set a tone.

Gretchen McCulloch, a linguist and author of the book Because Internet: Understanding the New Rules of Language , told NPR’s All Things Considered last year that when it comes to text messaging, the period has lost its original purpose because rather needing a symbol to indicate the end of a sentence, you can simply hit send on your message.

That doesn’t mean the period has lost all purpose in text messaging. Now it can be used to indicate seriousness or a sense of finality.

But caution is needed, said McCulloch, noting that problems can start to arise when you combine a period with a positive sentiment, such as “Sure” or “Sounds good.”

“Now you’ve got positive words and serious punctuation and the clash between them is what creates that sense of passive-aggression,” said McCulloch.

Binghamton University psychology professor Celia Klin says a period can inadvertently set a tone, because while text messaging may function like speech, it lacks many of the expressive features of face-to-face verbal communication, like “facial expressions, tone of voice, our ability to elongate words, to say some things louder, to pause.”

Our language has evolved, and “what we have done with our incredible linguistic genius is found ways to insert that kind of emotional, interpersonal information into texting using what we have,” said Klin. “And what we have is things like periods, emoticons, other kinds of punctuation. So people have repurposed the period to mean something else.”

And that something else is passive-aggression.

The rest of the article can be found at the following (with audio)

Are Your Texts Passive-Aggressive? The Answer May Lie In Your Punctuation : NPR

 

[BartholomewB]

On another website, just a few days ago, I saw a joky comment about this foolishness. But I still haven’t fully understood what “passive-aggression” is supposed to mean. Is it simply the same as “disapproval” or is it something different?

 

[ZemD]

Disagree.
Written communication ends in punctuation.

 

[ThinkingSapien]

But I still haven’t fully understood what “passive-aggression” is supposed to mean. Is it simply the same as “disapproval” or is it something different?

A subtle agression. Sometimes ambiguous. A passive agressive message can cause someone to bith feel hurt but question if it were intended. And it can be delivered politely enough such that the person receiving it doesn’t argue back.

Ex: if someone said “You sound smart for a Catholic” the “you sound smart” sounds like a compliment. But adding on the category “for a Catholic” raises questions on why that had to use a sub-category? Does this person think low of Catholics? That would be passive agressiveness.

Back to the topic, someone could send an informal “Sure.” In response “Would you like to go to out to the park with me?” To agree with someone. But that period may lead to someone adding some emotions to the speaker that are not present. That the speaker doesn’t really like to go. “I guess I will take time from my day to fo with you to the park” may be how it is interpreted.

 

[Wesrock]

I grew up in the instant messaging after school (AIM) generation that used extensive made up short hand, so I guess I have no right to criticize.

 

[christofirst]

I just heard about this too. I’m in my late 50s, so when I text my son or niece and end my message with a period I’m sure they will understand that I’m just an old-timer and not mad at them . This kind of thing has long been part of the generational divide, which I can only accept as both far out and groovy.

 

[Agnus-Dei]

Could this compare to a poster who will make a statement and end it with, “full stop”? (Aka, a period .)
I was taught that written communication uses punctuation for clarity.
Two people ask each other if they would like to do something with text. If there is a pause, then one writes, “Don’t want to?” If they left off the question mark, “Don’t want to” will send the wrong message.
There’s always, “Let’s eat, grandma” vs. “Let’s eat grandma”. Punctuation is important.
Dominus vobiscum

 

[puer.dei]

But that period may lead to someone adding some emotions to the speaker that are not present.

That is beyond ridiculous.

 

[Irishmom2]

This is just ridiculous. Sentences end with a period. If the mom was mad, she would have used all caps. :crazy_face:

Is this better Maybe no punctuation at all is where the world is heading Perhaps some young people need to stop thinking that people text meanings that exist only in their mind

I hear a lot about context and not being able to gauge tone. Part of the reason is because most people use the fewest amount of words possible in a text. We don’t have that problem in literature because every word is chosen to convey something.

Maybe people need to start being more specific in their texting.

My daughter never used text abbreviations. We use adult vocabulary and sometimes send each other very long quotes we want to share. It’s all a part of having something specific to say.

 

[ThinkingSapien]

I hear a lot about context and not being able to gauge tone. Part of the reason is because most people use the fewest amount of words possible in a text.

I used a phone with a small screen some years ago for an app inwas making (thankfully this was not my everyday phone). The smaller keyboard had the period on another screen. To enter a period using that button, someone had to hit a button to switch keyboards, hit the period key, and switch back. I wonder if that longer sequence on some phones is why some people dod not use periods. That, and people didnt know that hitting the space button twice also generates a period.

 

[Agnus-Dei]

And now, texting with full keyboard ability, in rare cases when I need to text, no acronyms. With the button clicking text it made sense, but now with voice to text, it’s less necessary.
I am in my second month of having an Iphone, I have only sent one text. (And it was,… STOP)
Dominus vobiscum

 

[CilladeRoma]

This is crazy! Just another attempt to be victimized. People need to grow up.

 

[Agnus-Dei]

I am offended by your use of a full stop. :crazy_face:
Dominus vobiscum

 

[Irishmom2]

Could this compare to a poster who will make a statement and end it with, “full stop”? (Aka, a period .)

I always think of “full stop” not as a period, but more like a way of saying “end of discussion” or there is no disputing the previous statement.

 

[BartholomewB]

But “period” can be used that way, too. “I don’t like oysters, period.”

 

[Tommy999]

This is just ridiculous. Sentences end with a period. If the mom was mad, she would have used all caps. :crazy_face:

I agree wholeheartedly. The only time I wonder if some aggression or anger might be involved is when the writer literally spells out the word “Period” or “PERIOD” at the end of a sentence or as a separate statement at the end of a communication, especially if they are disagreeing with someone leading up to that. Perhaps they are just trying to sound forceful or authoritative.

Even then, it’s not that big of a deal to me.

 

[Irishmom2]

Yes, exactly. I think it’s just a new way to say it.

 

[BartholomewB]

Ex: if someone said “You sound smart for a Catholic” the “you sound smart” sounds like a compliment. But adding on the category “for a Catholic” raises questions on why that had to use a sub-category? Does this person think low of Catholics? That would be passive agressiveness.

That kind of snub or putdown is very old. It’s a form of damning with faint praise. In speech, you would probably hear it with a pregnant pause before the punchline. For instance, I can imagine a Californian, back in the mid-twentieth century, saying “LBJ is a progressive and enlightened politician … [pause] … for a Texan.”

I’m surprised anyone should label that “passive-aggressive.” I don’t see anything passive about it, just plain aggressive. It’s really just a shorter, more compact form of Samuel Johnson’s remark about a famous woman preacher, “A woman’s preaching is like a dog’s walking on his hind legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all.” He could have said, more succinctly, “Yes, that was a good sermon … for a woman.”

Back to the topic, someone could send an informal “Sure.” In response “Would you like to go to out to the park with me?” To agree with someone. But that period may lead to someone adding some emotions to the speaker that are not present. That the speaker doesn’t really like to go. “I guess I will take time from my day to fo with you to the park” may be how it is interpreted.

Thank you, now I understand (more or less) what this period business is all about. All the same, these kids are trying to make a tiny dot carry a greater load than it can really bear. In your example, I’d say the difference between “Sure.” and “Sure” is microscopic, and in any case, both are pretty low-key. The only really friendly answer would be “Sure!”

 

[ioannes_pius]

That is beyond ridiculous.

It is, but I can attest through personal experience that there are some (probably those who belong to Generation Z more than any other) who do indeed take it this way.

 

[PaulinVA]

This coincides with the ridiculousness of not putting two spaces after a period in formal writing.

Apparently one space is now enough. Even the AP stylebook says so. But, not for me. I make liberal use of paragraphs and white space to set thoughts apart and make what I write easier to digest.