1 Peter 3:15

[Marc_Anthony]

The basis of all Apologetics:

“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect”

Just something for all of us, Catholic and Protestant, to stand back and reflect on This is why we have apologetics; to “give the reason for the hope that we have”. And to present this hope with “gentleness and respect”.

Why am I saying this? No particular reason except that I think it’s always good to reflect on this verse before engaging in apologetics.

Sometimes on the internet we say things to people (and really, say things in general) that we wouldn’t say to them in real life. Is this NECESSARILY bad? No. The Internet certainly has different etiquette than face-to-face conversations have.

But there ARE things we need to remember. Let’s take this statement: “Abortion is evil, in every circumstance, without exception.”

Is this something every Catholic should believe? Of course!

But I know a woman who got an abortion. Her husband and her were in a bad place, and both of them were addicted to drugs. They got the abortion to avoid having a child with severe deformities that they would never be able to give a proper home. Now the woman is completely clean and making a good living.

Now take the above statement. How do we say it to this woman, after she tells us this story? Do we say, “it doesn’t matter, abortion is evil, in every circumstance!”

I think that’s highly counterproductive. This is a situation that takes delicacy and charitable kindness. You give your condolences, carefully explain your beliefs on abortion so that the person you’re talking to may understand them, affirm that you don’t think that they’re a bad person (this person is not), and then hope you’ve planted seeds in their head that may eventually grow fruit later.

Homosexuality is another one. Do I believe in a “homosexual agenda”? Yes, I do. Do I oppose gay marriage and same-sex relationships? Yes, I do.

But most of the gay people I’ve met weren’t trying to push an agenda in my face, and really none of them have had a problem with me even when I’ve explained my views. In fact, most were very nice and sincerely believe what they do. So when I explain my beliefs on gay marriage, I don’t lie or dance around the issue but I also don’t lash out and talk about how horrible gay marriage is and how it’s undermining society and ruining the country…I explain my beliefs as charitably as possible.

This is in person. On the internet, I’m quite different. But reading the threads here, I’m starting to think this isn’t right. By stating our views here differently than we would state them in person, I feel like we close a lot of people off. And I want to stop doing that.

So I reflect: “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect”

Have a good day everybody

-Marc Anthony

 

[triumphguy]

But abortion is evil.

And even in this example the abortion is evil.

However I would not say the woman is evil.

I would say she is hurting, in pain, suffering from the consequences of evil.

Her child is dead, and many mothers of aborted babies will tell you how much they grieve for their choice and the loss of their baby. To tell them “it’s OK, it wasn’t really evil” is a kind of slap in the face.

I know you are trying to be gentle, but sometimes you must be clear.

Have you ever removed gravel from road rash? You can’t do it gently, because you leave **** in there. You must do it thoroughly and that hurts like (words you can’t use here!), but it’s the only way.

 

[hockeyfan]

The basis of all Apologetics:

“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect”

Just something for all of us, Catholic and Protestant, to stand back and reflect on This is why we have apologetics; to “give the reason for the hope that we have”. And to present this hope with “gentleness and respect”.

Why am I saying this? No particular reason except that I think it’s always good to reflect on this verse before engaging in apologetics.

Sometimes on the internet we say things to people (and really, say things in general) that we wouldn’t say to them in real life. Is this NECESSARILY bad? No. The Internet certainly has different etiquette than face-to-face conversations have.

But there ARE things we need to remember. Let’s take this statement: “Abortion is evil, in every circumstance, without exception.”

Is this something every Catholic should believe? Of course!

But I know a woman who got an abortion. Her husband and her were in a bad place, and both of them were addicted to drugs. They got the abortion to avoid having a child with severe deformities that they would never be able to give a proper home. Now the woman is completely clean and making a good living.

Now take the above statement. How do we say it to this woman, after she tells us this story? Do we say, “it doesn’t matter, abortion is evil, in every circumstance!”

I think that’s highly counterproductive. This is a situation that takes delicacy and charitable kindness. You give your condolences, carefully explain your beliefs on abortion so that the person you’re talking to may understand them, affirm that you don’t think that they’re a bad person (this person is not), and then hope you’ve planted seeds in their head that may eventually grow fruit later.

Homosexuality is another one. Do I believe in a “homosexual agenda”? Yes, I do. Do I oppose gay marriage and same-sex relationships? Yes, I do.

But most of the gay people I’ve met weren’t trying to push an agenda in my face, and really none of them have had a problem with me even when I’ve explained my views. In fact, most were very nice and sincerely believe what they do. So when I explain my beliefs on gay marriage, I don’t lie or dance around the issue but I also don’t lash out and talk about how horrible gay marriage is and how it’s undermining society and ruining the country…I explain my beliefs as charitably as possible.

This is in person. On the internet, I’m quite different. But reading the threads here, I’m starting to think this isn’t right. By stating our views here differently than we would state them in person, I feel like we close a lot of people off. And I want to stop doing that.

So I reflect: “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect”

Have a good day everybody

-Marc Anthony

I agree. Demonstrating our faith is not the same thing as not being honest about it. One thing I heard years ago that has helped with that is that “Jesus hates the sin, not the sinner.” I have heard before that church is not a museum of saints but a hospital for the sinners. To follow that analogy, sometimes in a hospital painkillers are used when a injury is severe. The painkillers themselves are NOT a cure. Use them sparingly but address the spiritual wound. You way of touching on the abortion and homosexuality is appropriate. You did not apologize for your faith but you did explain it with mercy. It wont always work but it will attract people when their spiritual life hits a certain point.

 

[MidnightSun12]

Homosexuality is another one. Do I believe in a “homosexual agenda”? Yes, I do. Do I oppose gay marriage and same-sex relationships? Yes, I do.

But most of the gay people I’ve met weren’t trying to push an agenda in my face, and really none of them have had a problem with me even when I’ve explained my views. In fact, most were very nice and sincerely believe what they do. So when I explain my beliefs on gay marriage, I don’t lie or dance around the issue but I also don’t lash out and talk about how horrible gay marriage is and how it’s undermining society and ruining the country…I explain my beliefs as charitably as possible.

I think you’re on the right track, but we have to be careful with our definition of “charitable”:

If we keep in mind that an unrepentent homosexual lifestyle most likely leads to hell, I think our definition of “charity” changes considerably. Would it be charitable to avoid offending a gay person in a conversation and walk away with them “liking” you but allowing them to feel justified in continuing to lead their immoral lifestyle? This could lead to an eternity of suffering, which hardly sounds charitable in my opinion. I mean, would you avoid offending your drug-addicted teen by allowing him to contiue doing drugs so that he would be happy in the short-term but allow him to destroy his future in the process? Or would you confront your child and upset him in the short term in the hopes that he can turn his life around?

The truth is that you are going to have to pick up your cross and be disliked at least in the short term in these cases. If you wish to save a soul, you are invariably going to have to offend people (Satan makes people quite afraid to confront sin and gives them the illusion of being comfortable in the lives that they are living…pulling people out of the pit just about always requires invoking fear and can result in an angry response in the short term).

Remember, it’s not about pleasing people, it’s about pleasing Christ!

 

[Marc_Anthony]

Uhhhh…when did I ever say I didn’t tell this woman that abortion is evil? I told her that I am anti-abortion, and this is why.

I told her why I thought it was a horrible thing, and tried to plant the seed that may change her mind.

You guys are getting the wrong idea. The WHOLE POINT of this post is about telling people the truth, just charitably, but the truth nonetheless.

…You really don’t see how telling people “what you’re doing is evil”, to their face, could be counterproductive to apologetics?

…Sure, gay marriage is a mortal sin…but saying, “you people are involved in a relationship that will get you sent to Hell” is more likely to have me cut off from discussion than it is to help people.

I feel like some of you didn’t read what I wrote…it’s all about presenting the truth and not avoiding it, just being realistic about it.

 

[Marc_Anthony]

I think you’re on the right track, but we have to be careful with our definition of “charitable”:

Indeed. See my signature

If we keep in mind that an unrepentent homosexual lifestyle most likely leads to hell, I think our definition of “charity” changes considerably. Would it be charitable to avoid offending a gay person in a conversation and walk away with them “liking” you but allowing them to feel justified in continuing to lead their immoral lifestyle?

Certainly not. But I didn’t say that.

This could lead to an eternity of suffering, which hardly sounds charitable in my opinion. I mean, would you avoid offending your drug-addicted teen by allowing him to contiue doing drugs so that he would be happy in the short-term but allow him to destroy his future in the process? Or would you confront your child and upset him in the short term in the hopes that he can turn his life around?

Sure, if I thought that upsetting him in the short term would turn his life around. But I’m not talking to my drug abusing kid here, I’m talking to adults old enough to form their own opinions, and calling what they’re doing evil probably isn’t GOING to help them in the long term…it’ll just cut me out of the conversation. Which is counter-productive.

The truth is that you are going to have to pick up your cross and be disliked at least in the short term in these cases. If you wish to save a soul, you are invariably going to have to offend people (Satan makes people quite afraid to confront sin and gives them the illusion of being comfortable in the lives that they are living…pulling people out of the pit just about always requires invoking fear and can result in an angry response in the short term).

What I say may cause people to be offended, but I’m not going to present it in a way that I know will provoke offense-like going up to somebody and saying “I know your life was difficult and all, but you just killed somebody and might be going to Hell for it”. I’d get slapped in the face and the person would go away with a lower opinion of pro-lifers.

Remember, it’s not about pleasing people, it’s about pleasing Christ!

On this we of course agree completely!

 

[Marc_Anthony]

But abortion is evil.

Yes, it is.

And even in this example the abortion is evil.

Indeed.

However I would not say the woman is evil.

I would say she is hurting, in pain, suffering from the consequences of evil.

Agreed.

Her child is dead, and many mothers of aborted babies will tell you how much they grieve for their choice and the loss of their baby. To tell them “it’s OK, it wasn’t really evil” is a kind of slap in the face.

I didn’t and would never say that. I said the opposite, in a clear way but in as kind a way as I could manage.

I know you are trying to be gentle, but sometimes you must be clear.

I was.

Have you ever removed gravel from road rash? You can’t do it gently, because you leave **** in there. You must do it thoroughly and that hurts like (words you can’t use here!), but it’s the only way.

Perhaps I should clarify: I told this woman that I thought abortion is always wrong and explained why clearly, but as kindly as possible.

If I made it seem as if I didn’t tell her that, then it was a mistake in wording on my part. Sorry.

 

[mdcpensive1]

Marc Anthony

I have been doing evangelization work for a while now and I always wonder how I am coming accross. Although not all I do has to do with apologetics, I have learned that one of the most important factors is the sincerity and care for others that is being perceived. Our arguments will never be effective if they are perceived as non-personal and argumentative. Catholic Answers Magazine has provided me with numerous articles about the good and the bad ways of doing apologetics that has given me much to think about. I hope to pray more about this in contemplation.

I thank you for your insight because it may lead others who hear us into the truth and put their souls in positions of greater unity with the Lord.

mdcpensive1

 

[GratefulFred]

I agree with Mark Anthony. He gives us a good reminder of the need to be gentle, especially when a story is presented as a painful personal experience.

1 Peter 3:15 talks about gently explaining the HOPE WE HAVE. That verse is not talking about a blunt direct explanation of the wrong someone else committed.

Most of us are not trained counsellors or trained priests. Blog stories are short summaries, and when personal pain is involved, the details do matter.

For the woman who shared some details of her abortion, perhaps it would be consistent with 1 Peter 3:15 to talk about the value of a PRIVATE Confession with a Priest. Or perhaps mention Rachel’s Vineyard. Or perhaps suggest she seek out books that help deal with post abortion feelings.

Christ is all about FORGIVENESS and not, “First, let me remind you just how evil your act was.”

We are called to express love, not render judgement. We can express love and hope without saying we approve of past behavior.

 

[Church_Militant]

it’s all about presenting the truth and not avoiding it, just being realistic about it.

The message is not so much about the sin of abortion, but the mercy and forgiveness of God. These people are very much bent reeds and smoldering wicks, damaged by their sins, (just as are we all to differing degrees I suppose) so…it is the Gospel’s message of hope and forgiveness that is the answer to us all and our call to conversion.

All of us are so weighed down by our sins and if you look in the New Testament you soon see that the people that flocked to Our Lord were just such as these.
Matthew 11:19
Luke 7:34
Matthew 9:10-13
Mark 2:15-17
Luke 5:30-32
Luke 15:1 & ff
Matthew 21:31