10 Questions to Ask When You're Dating someone

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PennyinCanada

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I saw Jason and Chrystaline Everett on Women of Grace (EWTN) and decided to copy down the 10 questions for you! It’s from their book, How to Find your Soul Mate.

** Can I trust him with my heart?

** Does he value my goals and dreams in life?

** Does he treat all women with respect, not just the ones he wants to impress?

** Had he recently broken up with another girl? Decide to take it slow.

** What do his ex-girlfriends think of him? Why did the relationship end?

** Does he care about my happiness or is he self absorbed?

** Does he make me a better person? Am I trying to fix him?

** Would he be a great dad?

** After spending time with him, do I feel cherished or instead feel used and afraid?

** When it comes to getting to heaven, is he a help or a hindrance?
 
PennyinCanada said:
** Does he treat all women with respect, not just the ones he wants to impress?
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Male version: does she respect men? I’m not actually being witty here, just providing perspective. Sometimes women actually tend to forget to respect men, as in it’s never occurred to them to be necessary. This not ideal but workable. Others just won’t, and that’s a goodbye.

Very good points, by the way.
 
Those are excellent! In past relationships, I wish I had stopped and thought about a lot of these. I would have saved myself a lot of heartache.
 
chevalier said:
Male version: does she respect men? I’m not actually being witty here, just providing perspective. Sometimes women actually tend to forget to respect men, as in it’s never occurred to them to be necessary. This not ideal but workable. Others just won’t, and that’s a goodbye.

Very good points, by the way.
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👍
 
chevalier said:
Male version: does she respect men? I’m not actually being witty here, just providing perspective. Sometimes women actually tend to forget to respect men, as in it’s never occurred to them to be necessary. This not ideal but workable. Others just won’t, and that’s a goodbye.

Very good points, by the way.
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I think it should be: Does he respect everyone, not just people he needs to impress. Because if he treats his mom like a queen but treats the waitress like dirt, bye! :dts:

Luna
 
Luna_Lovecraft said:
I think it should be: Does he respect everyone, not just people he needs to impress. Because if he treats his mom like a queen but treats the waitress like dirt, bye! :dts:

Luna
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It is, "how does he/she treat people that he/she doesn’t need to impress?

The waitress, the movie usher, the mom with a stroller. They are the people your future spouse needs to treat well.
 
I actually would love to see the female equivalent to these questions. I think they’re for the most part valid questions that should be asked when considering someone to date.
 
Luna_Lovecraft said:
I think it should be: Does he respect everyone, not just people he needs to impress. Because if he treats his mom like a queen but treats the waitress like dirt, bye! :dts:

Luna
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Some people treat those who they want to impress as dirt because that’s how they impress people. 😛
 
This is a good list. I love the two of them, they have a great story.
 
Two thoughts on these:

How many people here have met their dates’ ex-girlfriends or boyfriends? I know I never have, and neither did my husband meet any of MY ex-boyfriends.

And, I think another HUGE area is how your date gets along with his own parents. Do they have a close relationship? Any substance abuse in the parents? Are the parents welcoming to you or cold? I realize you don’t always meet the parents right away, but you can kind of gauge from conversations, references, etc. until you do meet them.
 
PennyinCanada said:
I saw Jason and Chrystaline Everett on Women of Grace (EWTN) and decided to copy down the 10 questions for you! It’s from their book, How to Find your Soul Mate.

** Can I trust him with my heart?

** Does he value my goals and dreams in life?

** Does he treat all women with respect, not just the ones he wants to impress?

** Had he recently broken up with another girl? Decide to take it slow.

** What do his ex-girlfriends think of him? Why did the relationship end?

** Does he care about my happiness or is he self absorbed?

** Does he make me a better person? Am I trying to fix him?

** Would he be a great dad?

** After spending time with him, do I feel cherished or instead feel used and afraid?

** When it comes to getting to heaven, is he a help or a hindrance?
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What a great list. Thank you!
 
Saw them on “Women of Grace” this morning. I really, really enjoyed it!!!

Thanks again for posting this list. I will certainly be looking into reading their books and also getting them for my teenager! 🙂
 
SurlyMermaid said:
Saw them on “Women of Grace” this morning. I really, really enjoyed it!!!

Thanks again for posting this list. I will certainly be looking into reading their books and also getting them for my teenager! 🙂
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The videos for teens are excellent too. 🙂
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Two thoughts on these:

How many people here have met their dates’ ex-girlfriends or boyfriends? I know I never have, and neither did my husband meet any of MY ex-boyfriends.

And, I think another HUGE area is how your date gets along with his own parents. Do they have a close relationship? Any substance abuse in the parents? Are the parents welcoming to you or cold? I realize you don’t always meet the parents right away, but you can kind of gauge from conversations, references, etc. until you do meet them.
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Excellent points.

I would add to watch how your date uses money. Do they seem to owe money to all and sundry? Do they seem to never have enough even though they have a decent job? Or are they the opposite? Is a big date microwaved noodles and a can of tuna?😛

Seriously, financial compatability is huge but oftentimes overlooked.

Luna
 
Irishmom2 said:
This is an excellent book. Worth buying! 👍
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Perfect timing for the show on Valentine’s Day. They had part 2 today but I missed part of it. I went through the list thinking of past boyfriends and realize why they are “past” not present.

I also appreciated Jonette’s comment that you can promise to LOVE someone always but you can’t promise to FEEL the same every day and forever. Too many people think love is merely a feeling, the heart beating fast, the butterflies, the constant thinking of him or her. Then when that initial rush, as Jonette called it “infatuation” or being in love with the FEELING the person evokes, rather than in love with the person, is over they think they don’t love them anymore. They never really did.

Lisa
 
For whatever it’s worth, I’ll add one.

“Does he really, really, really ask my thoughts and advice about important matters in life that he’s thinking about, and does he accept them as valid when they’re given?”

That has been important between my wife and me, both ways, for decades. Really important.
 
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