13 years old, and I want to live a life of chasity?

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So obviously I am going through a lot of temptations, owing a lot due to my age and hormones. Can anyone give me advice on living a life of chasity and morality?

I want to be a man of faith, a devout Roman Catholic. And I know chasity is essential to this.
 
Identify and avoid near occasions of sin, but also seek holiness in a positive way.

For instance, keep yourself in chaperoned situations…use your computer where you can be seen, spend time with your friends where you can be seen and overheard, make the passwords to your e-mail accounts available to family members, and of course go to confession on a regular basis. More to the point, though, do not hope to simply avoid evil without seeking to do good. For instance, the best way to avoid impurity is to seek to hold females in high regard, to respect their dignity, and to see your own body as a temple of the Holy Spirit, as something holy, rather than only to try to keep your own passions from getting out of line by avoiding certain thoughts or acts. In this way, you will be more aware of what you are throwing away when you are tempted to chase what is wrong.

So be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love, as Christ loved us and handed himself over for us as a sacrificial offering to God for a fragrant aroma. Immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be mentioned among you, as is fitting among holy ones, no obscenity or silly or suggestive talk, which is out of place, but instead, thanksgiving. Be sure of this, that no immoral or impure or greedy person, that is, an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty arguments, for because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the disobedient. So do not be associated with them. For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light, for light produces every kind of goodness and righteousness and truth. Try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the fruitless works of darkness; rather expose them, for it is shameful even to mention the things done by them in secret; but everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for everything that becomes visible is light. Therefore, it says: “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light.” Watch carefully then how you live, not as foolish persons but as wise, making the most of the opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not continue in ignorance, but try to understand what is the will of the Lord. And do not get drunk on wine, in which lies debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another (in) psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and playing to the Lord in your hearts, giving thanks always and for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God the Father. Eph 5:1-20
 
Respect yourself and others. Do not isolate yourself but do not go into situations that would compromise your chastity. Be careful what movies, TV, books, websites you read and are exposed to. Media DOES influence people; that is why advertising cost so much: they know how their ad will influence.

Fill your life with beautiful things: stories, acts, conversations with people who reach high. Read about the saints.

Involve yourself in sports, dance, physical exercise and work and try to improve your body in these pursuits.

Never despair or think “it doesn’t matter”. It all matters and a chaste approach to life will only improve your life and the world.

If you should ever marry, you will have self-control, something that a good woman would like to see in a partner for life.
 
Give yourself a chance to grow POSITIVELY!
Where mistaken recognize your mistake(s), accept the need to change, and CHANGE:
for a better tomorrow, of course!
 
First of all I am truly proud of you for wanting to take this stance. I took my daughters to a workshop with Family Honor that was really good. Work with your parents to see if they are in your area as well. familyhonor.org/
 
Good for you, your purpose in life is on the right track at a time in your life that is quite difficult. Remember that we care about you, will pray for you and want you to succeed in your goals. Surround yourself with friends who share your values, stay active in positive activities, keep tempting material away and pray. Come back whenever you need support!
Memorare

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

Amen.
 
Joko2599 said:
So obviously I am going through a lot of temptations, owing a lot due to my age and hormones. Can anyone give me advice on living a life of chasity and morality?

I want to be a man of faith, a devout Roman Catholic. And I know chasity is essential to this.
Click to expand...
Did you know that God infused virtues into you when you were baptized? The Virtues are a set of habits. When you have a habit, the actions you do with it are like a second nature to you; you know how to do them when you use them, much like typing on a keyboard.

Did you know you are making use of several of the Virtues when you wrote your question?
  • The Virtue of Charity: you are making known your love of God when you want to be known as one of his People in the world (“a man of faith, a devout Roman Catholic”).
  • The Virtue of Prudence, which is choosing the right thing at the right time, when you seek counsel about how to be chaste.
You have the Virtues, and Chastity is one of them, one of the habits God infused into you when you were baptized, and you are paying attention to the Holy Spirit by reasoning through its meaning for you.

So, how to use the habit of Chastity?.. in a nutshell,
  • pay attention to your reasoning, to your thinking, about what is good and what is not.
  • That is practicing the habit of Prudence, which God gave you.
  • Your body tells your reasoning that pleasurable feelings are good, at it is true.
  • Then your intellect, your understanding of Truth and God’s Law, your understanding of yourself as one of God’s People tells you that getting pleasure in improper ways or using other people for your own pleasure is not good, not right, not Godly.
  • Simply think through what is really going on and who you really are and who is the God you really love.
  • Then do what is the good thing when you have thought through it.
  • Once you found the good thing, you already have the Virtues, the habits, to follow through, to practice.
I hope this makes sense… It is my attempt to answer you from my understanding of St. Thomas Aquinas, from his Summa Theologica. Someday when you are older I hope you will take a shot at reading it, though you will need to work awfully hard at it. But it is well worth it when you want to understand yourself, your God, your life, your actions, etc.

Anyway, go to Mass often to be with Jesus - walk with him just like his disciples did, learn from him.

John Martin
 
Joko2599 said:
So obviously I am going through a lot of temptations, owing a lot due to my age and hormones. Can anyone give me advice on living a life of chasity and morality?

I want to be a man of faith, a devout Roman Catholic. And I know chasity is essential to this.
Click to expand...
  1. Live a life of prayer. Morning prayer, evening prayer, the Rosary (especially the Rosary) as our Lady can do wonders to help you live a life of purity. Regular Mass and Eucharistic Adoration as well
  2. Regular confession
  3. Filter the hell out of your computers and electronic devices. That would have saved me a lot of sorrow and sin in my teen years.
  4. Strict boundaries when dating. You will probably have a date or several in coming years and its completely okay but have clear rules when you date to make sure you won’t cross any lines.
  5. An addendum to point four, only date those whom you could honestly see yourself spending the rest of your life with. Make sure she is Catholic, keep Jesus at the center of your relationships.
  6. Avoid situations where there can be temptation to sin.
 
Joko2599 said:
So obviously I am going through a lot of temptations, owing a lot due to my age and hormones. Can anyone give me advice on living a life of chasity and morality?

I want to be a man of faith, a devout Roman Catholic. And I know chasity is essential to this.
Click to expand...
Good for you! :clapping::yup::love:

Take full advantage of our sacraments - God’s grace is contained within them.

Go to confession regularly. Do adoration as often as you can. Receive the Eucharist worthily. And start preparing for confirmation (it’s not graduation, but merely an continuance of your Baptismal promises).

Don’t keep secrets - shine the light of Christ into ALL the corners of your life. If you are tempted, tell your priest and your parents (especially your dad, assuming he is also a faithful Catholic). They will have valuable insights and some tools that you haven’t thought of yet.

GUARD YOUR EYES carefully. Porn is everywhere in society, and young men have a difficult time to stay truly chaste. It’s the devil who teaches us to rationalize, “Well that little bit of looking didn’t hurt me…” But these things build upon themselves, sometimes without even a conscience decision. And once images are in your brain, they stay a long time, if not forever. Be proactive - ask your parents if they have blocking software on all of the computers in the house. You will be tempted outside your home, but it’s easier if you know that you can be a little more relaxed in your own home.

Find other young men who are also focused on staying chaste, and hang out with them. You are known by the company you keep, and you will be supported by others who are on the same difficult journey. At your young age, you will be influenced heavily by peers, so keep them on your side and not acting as tempters.

“Theology of the Body” is a great read, not an easy read, but I believe there are beginner versions of it. This is truly the theology behind chastity, so it’s an anchor for you.

There used to be a tab on this page “Chastity” but in the site redesign, it disappeared. 😦 Maybe one of the other posters will know how to find it. It’s got some great resources for both young men and women.

Stay here and be supported!
 
Wrote this last night and totally forgot to post it like an idiot haha 😃

Chasity is a Virtue. Virtue by definition is the **habitual **disposition(will) to do the Good.

One can’t be chaste one day and then a sex fill lust monster the next. We have to work together to obtain virtue. Stick to the one look rule, if an immodest person is walking in the hall or street and you pass them only give them one look, once you notice their immodest and it is tempting you don’t look any more.

A missionary once told me this parable. There is a $100 lying on the ground. Three men pass it and notice it. The 1st picks it up and keeps it. The second picks it up and decides not to take it as the own will realize he dropped it (In this scenario) and the Third (which notices it) walks right by without stopping.

The third is most virtuous because he knows without contemplation that it is wrong. Money on the ground can be substituted with anything. Masturbation lust hatred theft murder etc.

My suggestions are this:
1.) Find a great group of Catholic and/or Christian Friends
2.) Find a best friend who you can share with and have accountability with. One that would know if anything happened.
3.) Have an active Faith life. Participate in the Mass fully. ]
4.) Bi-Weekly or Monthly confession for venial and any mortal sins. Confession the day of or the next day after Mortal sins if possible. Padre Pio advocated confession every 8 days! 👍
5.) Be active in the faith formation (Lifeteen / CCD / Catechists of the Good Shepard / RE) What ever your parish has.
6.) Attend a Youth mass at least


  1. once a month and be in community with them.
    7.) Attend a parish activity not on Sunday once a week
    -Daily mass -Confession/sacraments -Religious Ed -Teen Center things -Adoration/Benediction
    8.) Read scripture start with the Gospels and then the epistles then OT for Salvation History.

    This is what Greatly helped me growing up especially around your age and your issues I had the same 😛
 
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