16 year old boy who needs answers

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Axel_mario

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Im a 16 year old, and i have a girlfriend both of our parents are okay with us dating,i go to her house once a week to hang out. But i wanted to ask if it was wrong if she came to my house and we watched movies in my room while laying in bed. is it wrong? or immoral?
 
Hi Axel,
Welcome to the forums! It’s great that you are concerned with right behavior.

You ask if it’s wrong or immoral for you and your girlfriend to watch movies in bed at your house. A good question. I know that you two are certainly able to refrain from immoral activities in that situation, but I don’t recommend it.
There are several reasons. For one, it may give family members the idea that immoral stuff is going on. We are to avoid even the appearance of evil.
For another, it;'s pushing your relationship too far too fast. If you get used to lying in bed together to watch movies, what’s the next step? Because relationships don’t stay static, they develop. And I’m sure you’re aware that your hormones are pushing you to draw closer together. In other societies, or other countries, you might expect to be married at 18. Probably not here, so it’s not ideal to give yourselves more temptation than you need.
Because temptation is a real thing, remember the devil prowls around like a lion, looking for people to devour.

I am sure you value your girlfriend’s chastity and reputation, so i urge you to treat her with respect and consideration. Don’t give other people food for unkind thoughts, and don’t put temptations in front of you that you can avoid.
Watch TV in the living room with your family, sitting on the sofa, or some equivalent.
God bless.
 
Axel_mario said:
Im a 16 year old, and i have a girlfriend both of our parents are okay with us dating,i go to her house once a week to hang out. But i wanted to ask if it was wrong if she came to my house and we watched movies in my room while laying in bed. is it wrong? or immoral?
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Is there a reason you aren’t talking to your own parents about appropriate boundaries and behavior in your home and with dating?

Talk to your parents!
 
is it not right even if we have the door open of my room? and my parents are home?
 
yes you are very right,i was just kind of afraid to ask,i always think they are going to start to misinterpret things
 
My sixteen year old son would not be having his girlfriend up in his bedroom at all.

You can watch tv or movies in the living room.

Do you watch tv in bed at your girlfriend’s house?
 
It is a near occasion of sin.

Concretely, many sexual relationship have started like this. two people who watch movies in a room alone, while lying in a bed.

Is that what you want?

If no, you have to change that.
 
Hi, great question. You don’t want to put yourself/her in an occasion of sin, as well as cause possible scandal to others. So, I advice against it/being alone in secluded places, if possible. It would be helpful to also read more on holy purity/chastity, so as to strengthen that virtue. Perhaps also join groups for young people that foster the faith (e.g Pure in heart etc). It would help for your overall growth, friendship with God, and help you learn to date in a way that pleases God, and make you a better young man, and eventually help for a happier/holier home (when you have one in the future).

#Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God. May you feel the blessings of God, as you seek to follow him
 
I think if you visit her house or she comes to your house you should not be hanging out in your rooms together with the door closed. You should be in the more common areas of the house, aka the living room, the dining room, the living room.
And certainly not lying about together on a couch, bed, or together on the floor.
 
Symbolically the door being open is good. As a practical barrier, it really isn’t that much. If one of you goes to the bathroom or to grab snacks and then closes the door out of habit on the way back, that barrier is gone. And if your parents were going to be an effective barrier, they wouldn’t be leaving the two of you alone in bed.

Symbolically and practically laying together in bed is a terrible idea. People twice your age still get blindsided by how fast things can escalate. Starting in that position is like taking a running start.
 
1ke has gotten to the heart of the problem. I realize this can be embarrassing to discuss with your parents, but truly, open, honest communication with them will help you create and keep good boundaries.
 
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