17 year old left home

[apromisemade]

Update_ She is coming home today! I am going to pick her up from school. I was able to see and talk to her yesterday. She feels bad and wants to finish school. She made it to school today and the 21 year old text me and wanted to bring her home and ask for my forgiveness. I don’t know his story about the gang. For now I just want her home. He wants to talk us because he cares about her but I told him we needed time. The reality is that she will be 18 in February and she will be able to do what she wants so I feel if I can just keep her home until she graduates that will give me enough time to really influence and help guide her the right way. My husband is still upset but I am trying to get him to just forgive and reach her in a loving way.

:yyeess:

 

[TheRiver]

Update_ She is coming home today! I am going to pick her up from school. I was able to see and talk to her yesterday. She feels bad and wants to finish school. She made it to school today and the 21 year old text me and wanted to bring her home and ask for my forgiveness. I don’t know his story about the gang. For now I just want her home. He wants to talk us because he cares about her but I told him we needed time. The reality is that she will be 18 in February and she will be able to do what she wants so I feel if I can just keep her home until she graduates that will give me enough time to really influence and help guide her the right way. My husband is still upset but I am trying to get him to just forgive and reach her in a loving way.

Good to hear that your daughter is safe and that this guy is making some kind of effort, don’t want to be negative, but still be on your guard regarding him. I hope all goes well, especially between your daughter and husband.

 

[stringbeanduck]

Update_ She is coming home today! I am going to pick her up from school. I was able to see and talk to her yesterday. She feels bad and wants to finish school. She made it to school today and the 21 year old text me and wanted to bring her home and ask for my forgiveness. I don’t know his story about the gang. For now I just want her home. He wants to talk us because he cares about her but I told him we needed time. The reality is that she will be 18 in February and she will be able to do what she wants so I feel if I can just keep her home until she graduates that will give me enough time to really influence and help guide her the right way. My husband is still upset but I am trying to get him to just forgive and reach her in a loving way.

Thats excellent to read. This is the most important thing, her finishing school under a safe roof. It can be hard for dads to reach out to their kids in a loving when in these types of situations. Over time you two can work together to show your love and the desire for her to grow smart and safe.

 

[PaulinVA]

This is great news!

A little bit of advice. My son left for college about, what, four weeks ago? Over the summer, I wanted to tell him everything I hadn’t told him in the preceding 18 years. I was cramming it down his throat every minute I could.

It was terrible! He hated it. I hated it. Everyone started teasing me about lecturing. So, I just dialed it back and enjoyed his last summer with us before everything changed. It worked out so much better. He actually asked for advice (occasionally), and we enjoyed being together and doing things.

Deal with the immediate fallout of this episode, and then just let it get less intense. Let her enjoy the family life. And, tactfully, tell your husband to cool it. My wife told me to stop lecturing, and I’m glad she did.

 

[royal_archer]

Call the police now.

The love interest is 21? Depending on where you live this might be illegal. Has your husband visited this man yet and told him to back off his daughter? Perhaps your husband needs to show up at his place of work and let everyone know he is dating a high school student against her parent’s wishes.

possibly a restraining order?

 

[joandarc2008]

You may wish to consider hearing him out before judging too harshly. Keep those lines open because once she is 18 she can do and be with whomever she wants and it would be best if you could at least stand to be in the same room. For all we know the information you have received may be inaccurate. Just remember the story of the Good Samaritan and the story of the Prodigal Son. Maybe by your forgiveness or your non rush judgement he may even come to Christ.

 

[Christy_Beth]

I’m so glad to hear that she is coming home. And, Benedictus, thanks for the correction.

 

[TLM08]

Oh yes I have in the past, and I will in the future. Please don’t put words in my mouth. I would more than welcome a lawsuit, or my death than a dead family member. First comes a warning, then if junior dares to touch my daughter in anyway, we have problems. You know our local abortion clinic is in moderate crime area. The police warned me, that going out there to pray, I carry the risk of being shot or hurt. If I can put my life at risk(however high or low it is) for unborn children I do not know, you better believe that I’d do the same for family. When she becomes an adult there isn’t much one can do if she wants to be with the guy. For right now though, these parents have a girl, God knows where, and has a supposed 21 year old gang member as boyfriend. I wouldn’t sit on a couch twiddle my thumbs and only pray that she’s alright. Granted while I would pray, the common sense God gave me says go find her and bring her back. Or make sure that she has safe food and shelter over her head.

I truly understand what you are saying. We all have choices. My point is that the “Louisville Slugger” strategy would be justified if one walks in on a daughter being harmed while still in progress. But just try it simply because you don’t like the fact that he is a scumbag and you will go to jail. You can’t even legally whip the creep if he blackened her eye the night before. Once in jail, you can no longer provide for your family and they will lose everything… Try it and see. You’ll be in jail and “Junior” will STILL be seeing your daughter!

In order to protect renegade daughters these days, good fathers are really almost forced to break the law.

Understand?

 

[Cagrl]

Praying for your daughter and your husband to forgive eachother and reconcile. Prayers that your daughter come around and see she has a loving family.

 

[adv]

anothe update: Found out that they had sex. Found out he had a girlfriend possibly pregnant and has been with this girlfriend for over a year. Found out he is a lies about everything. He said he was done with daughter through text messages and it was all game to him. Of course we feel bad, my daughter is heartbroken and may be pregnant. I asked for your prayers that she not. Please pray for us.

 

[jmcrae]

anothe update: Found out that they had sex. Found out he had a girlfriend possibly pregnant and has been with this girlfriend for over a year. Found out he is a lies about everything. He said he was done with daughter through text messages and it was all game to him. Of course we feel bad, my daughter is heartbroken and may be pregnant. I asked for your prayers that she not. Please pray for us.

You are definitely in my prayers! Thank God she is home, but what a hard way to learn her lesson! :hug3:

 

[Angels_Unaware]

I am so sorry you’re going through this. But she told you what happened, and she’s home now, where you can protect her. Those are silver linings.

 

[stringbeanduck]

I truly understand what you are saying. We all have choices. My point is that the “Louisville Slugger” strategy would be justified if one walks in on a daughter being harmed while still in progress. But just try it simply because you don’t like the fact that he is a scumbag and you will go to jail. You can’t even legally whip the creep if he blackened her eye the night before. Once in jail, you can no longer provide for your family and they will lose everything… Try it and see. You’ll be in jail and “Junior” will STILL be seeing your daughter!

In order to protect renegade daughters these days, good fathers are really almost forced to break the law.

Understand?

Would I? Chances are junior has warrants out for his arrest, or is in some trouble with the law. Most if not gangbangers are. Do you really think he’s going to want to deal with the courts in suing me, when he’s mostly like got a list of criminal charges taller than me? Like I said, first comes warning, then comes action. I wouldn’t want to mess with anybody unless they harmed or a going to harm my family.

 

[stringbeanduck]

anothe update: Found out that they had sex. Found out he had a girlfriend possibly pregnant and has been with this girlfriend for over a year. Found out he is a lies about everything. He said he was done with daughter through text messages and it was all game to him. Of course we feel bad, my daughter is heartbroken and may be pregnant. I asked for your prayers that she not. Please pray for us.

Wow that’s a big surprise to me. Course this guy’s a creep. Any 21 year old guy with a 17 year old only has one thing on his mind, and it isn’t marriage or love. I feel terrible for your daughter and what she is going through. Most important thing is for you both love her and support her now. I pray that isn’t pregnant, and also that she has gained wisdom from what just happened so as to help prevent her friends from falling into a similar situation.

 

[joandarc2008]

Praying for you and your family. Sometimes pain is a great motivator for changing the way one is living his/her life. I know it was for me. Maybe this is God’s way of waking your daughter up and bringing her closer to Him.