4th Commandment. Honor

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dizzy_dave

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The 4th commandment is Honor your Mother and Father, what exactly does that entail? My Father died in 1995 and my Mother and I are not very close, long story. We live in the same town, I never call her she always calls me, only once or twice a month, we had a huge falling out a few years ago that involved other family members, I would like to be closer but don’t know how? It’s hard to follow your pride. What does the fourth commandment require us to do toward our mothers if we are all adults?
 
Pray for healing. Pray for love to fill her heart and yours. God is the healer of all things. It is absolutely amazing what God can do when you let him! There were years of resentment and hurt in my husband family at the time we met. He let them know we were engaged after many months of silence. My husband was hurt and I hurt for him. Although he was able to admit some wrong, the hurt and pain ran deep. As we became one flesh, together we dealt with this. I too was hurt. We prayed together and decided that we needed distance. We prayed from afar. and prayed and prayed and prayed. God answered. Today we have an awesome relationship. There have been tears and apologies and I believe that today my husband is truly honoring his mother and father to the best of his ability. However, now as a married couple we have our own family. “A man leaves his mother and father and they become one flesh.” I come before his parents and he before mine. We do however have a responsibility to honor and respect our folks which means making an honest attempt to communicate with them on a regular basis, even if we don’t feel like it. Pride is one of our worst enemies. Pray to see where you were wrong and admit you faults in confession to a priest and then make amends with your mother. Through the power of your prayers, God will work through her. Once you clean up your side of the street you will find peace knowing that you are being a faithful son. We will pray for you and healing in this relationship. May God bless you and your mother
 
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dizzy_dave:
The 4th commandment is Honor your Mother and Father, what exactly does that entail? My Father died in 1995 and my Mother and I are not very close, long story. We live in the same town, I never call her she always calls me, only once or twice a month, we had a huge falling out a few years ago that involved other family members, I would like to be closer but don’t know how? It’s hard to follow your pride. What does the fourth commandment require us to do toward our mothers if we are all adults?
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listen to me… don’t do this… some of us have missed opportunities to forgive and be reconcilled and will have to wait until death to get to say what should have been said… Go see your mother… to heck with the phone and your pride… don’t worry about swallowing it, spit it out right in the devils eye, i promise you it is satan that would love nothing better than to see you stick to your guns here… but, don’t you do it… go to her, hold her and tell her your sorry for being unforgiving…
and please God, tell you that you love her and you have been a jerk but that you are still a work in progress… ok, ok drop the jerk part, but go to her, If she is like 99.999999999999999999% of all the mothers in the world, she is giving you your space, because the last thing she wants is to push you…my lord man…** RUN TO HER**!

i will try not to be so suttle next time…phew… 👍
 
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dizzy_dave:
What does the fourth commandment require us to do toward our mothers. .?
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For a long time I carried a lot of bad feelings towards my Dad. Then he died. I still carried those feelings.

Then after a few years, I decided to be “big” about it and forgive him. I would do that now and then. But there essentially was no change in my feelings towards him.

One day I was thinking about forgiving him again when I just blurted out, “Please forgive me, Dad!” and burst into tears. I became overwhelmed with thoughts of all the times I had rejected his advances and attempts to show his feeling towards me because I could not forgive him.

After that day, even though he had already been dead almost ten years, my relationship with my Dad became solid again.

Like you with your Mother, my Dad was responsible for giving me life and raising me. For better or worse, he did a good job. But the alternative, non-existance, is unthinkable.

Think back on all the times that you have rejected your Mother’s advances towards you. All those phone calls, at a minimum. Go over there one day, maybe bring some flowers, tell her that you love her (I’d bet that’s been a long time) and ask her forgiveness for your meanness to her.

Your life will never be the same. She’s waiting for you. If you wait much longer it might be too late.
 
I can understand what kind of concern can come up with this. I’m the only catholic in the family, so I’m a real oddball. The thing is, I was never really accepted by my dad. To put it in plain english, he was an abusive sob. He never had anything good to say to me. He hit me plenty of times, and even sexually assaulted me. I had to accept that, during his lifetime, we would never have a “normal” relationship.

Well, my dad died almost three years ago. At the time, I was actually relieved. Well, shocked a bit as well. It was totally unexpected. Over time, the only thing I could pray was, “Lord, you handle this, cause I can’t.” I had to give it over to the Lord many times. After all, there was nothing to gain or lose anymore. Finally, I brought it up in confession. The priest said I had done the right thing. I had turned it over to the Lord for Him to handle. Through that, I was able to let go of that pain.

My big problem now is my mom. She denies that anything bad happened in our family. Even things she witnesses, she denies took place. To listen to her, I’m the black sheep of the family. Because I am mentally ill, she has told others that I’m psycho and should be locked up. Mostly because I don’t let her lie to me. It hurts. But all I can do is to continue telling the truth. Respect her? Not really. Honor her? She’s still my mother. But I try to not let her run my life.
 
My mom and I are not by any means enemies, we just are not very close, we do talk, not much, she seems to pay most attention to my younger brother who is kinda messed up and my older sister, they have both done a lot of wrong to my mom and I’ve always been th “good kid”, my mom seems as if she’d rather spend time with them and her friends than us it’s been this way since I married my wife, myu wife thinks it’s her my mom doesn’t like but my mom says she likes her, I don’t know, a lot of feelings have been hurt over the years and as I said we ARE on speaking terms, just not much, we are not close, sorry if I confused anyone with my question, I just wanted to know a more definitive explanation of the 4th Commandment. Thanks!
 
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