8/22 will be 26 years since my abortion

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I’m still astounded by His unending and all encompassing mercy and compassion - the sole reason I’m still here. I wrote about the upcoming date recently on my blog. Feel free to visit if you like. postabortionwalk.blogspot.com/2013/07/and-hand-to-hold-hope.html

Hope & A Hand To Hold…

I was working on a few things today and I came across this photo. It’s a statue called, “Hope.” The first time I saw a photo of this statue was in a flyer for a “Garden of Hope” that is not too far from where I live. It’s a memorial for babies lost to abortion or miscarriage, for all babies lost before their birth. I’ve wanted to try to visit it a few times, but I’m not sure how public it would be and I’m sure I would sit in my car waiting for there to be no one around before I even attempted to enter the place.

I just love the sculpture though - it’s so tear-jerkingly beautiful. Usually when I try to clear my head a bit and really pray… I picture myself walking along a pathway somewhere beautiful & serene, in nature somewhere, always by a lake or ocean for some reason… and there He is, waiting for me. Waiting… for me. Of all people! When I’m able to actually get to that place in my mind, it’s glorious. I don’t think I’ve ever imagined holding His hand - but that seems completely doable, right? Why wouldn’t Jesus hold your hand if you asked, or just took his hand in your own? In the statue, it looks as though He took her hand though - either way, could you just imagine that? I don’t know if I would even have to say anything after that - the hand holding might be more than enough. But hopefully I would talk. And I do try to talk with Him, in prayer and I try to listen, of course. I’m not always successful. Usually I fail miserably.

She looks like she’s holding a necklace and maybe showing it to him - I’m not sure. I guess I’ll have to look closely if I ever get to see the sculpture in real life. Most importantly is the fact that He is holding in his arm, on his lap, an infant. I can’t really concentrate too much on that part of the sculpture, it’s too difficult. Even now. But even a cursory glance tells me it’s beautiful and fills me with hope.

The anniversary of my abortion is approaching soon… August 22. It will be 26 years since my abortion.

I haven’t thought too much about how I may mark the day, if I do at all. Perhaps just going to Him in my mind will be enough. On my Rachel’s Vineyard retreat and in counseling I’ve learned that grieving for the child you lost to abortion is okay to do - but I’m not sure I’ve ever really figured out how to do that. It’s still difficult for me to say her name out loud.

Also in my rounds on the internet today, I watched a video about the latest prolife events in Texas, et al. I was shocked by some of the footage in a video when it showed an actual abortion being performed and a little, tiny, 12 week old hand being picked out of some blood and fluid. I’ve seen most of the graphic pictures of abortions - but this one today was different. I paused the video and just stared at the image of that little tiny hand.

I hope one day to hold Grace’s little tiny hand in mine.
 
I am so sorry for your loss and your pain. Thank you for sharing with us.
 
Perhaps it is time for a new step in your healing. Letting go of the guilt & pain. It has served it’s only purpose, repentance. Be open to new feelings about the existence of your little girl. Celebrate her existence. She is beautiful, unique, and a blessing. She is one of us! Enjoy that she is exists, and is eternal. Embrace & enjoy your forgiveness, love from God & your daughter. look forward to the day when you can be together in complete harmony & joy, celebrating! Let her name be a beautiful rose on your lips. Let it be known that God is the love that heals, and glories, and dances!
 
I am sorry for you and I know you will see your child in heaven. There is a beautiful sculpture of this I saw on pro-life site…shows a child forgiving her mother for the abortion. Your story can help others stay strong for life. The media makes it seem like women do not suffer from trauma and guilt and pain but your story and many others contradicts this theory. The more women who hear that they will have support during their pregnancy and they can turn away from the pressure to abort their baby.

God bless
Lisa

PS here is the scuplture:

1389blog.com/2013/04/03/young-slovakian-sculptor-captures-post-abortion-pain-mercy-and-forgiveness/
 
I can’t imagine your pain but I want you to know that you’ve touched my heart deeply today. My tears are flowing for you. I thank God every day for the tender mercies He gives us and for the forgiveness we receive from Him.
 
ForGood said:
I’m still astounded by His unending and all encompassing mercy and compassion - the sole reason I’m still here. I wrote about the upcoming date recently on my blog.
Hope & A Hand To Hold…

It’s a statue called, “Hope.” The first time I saw a photo of this statue was in a flyer for a “Garden of Hope” that is not too far from where I live. It’s a memorial for babies lost to abortion or miscarriage, for all babies lost before their birth. I’ve wanted to try to visit it a few times, but I’m not sure how public it would be and I’m sure I would sit in my car waiting for there to be no one around before I even attempted to enter the place.

The anniversary of my abortion is approaching soon… August 22. It will be 26 years since my abortion.

I haven’t thought too much about how I may mark the day, if I do at all. Perhaps just going to Him in my mind will be enough. On my Rachel’s Vineyard retreat and in counseling I’ve learned that grieving for the child you lost to abortion is okay to do - but I’m not sure I’ve ever really figured out how to do that. It’s still difficult for me to say her name out loud.

I hope one day to hold Grace’s little tiny hand in mine.
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Dearest For Good,

When I read someone’s post on this forum about abortion, I often post a list of websites that I think will be helpful to them.

Your blog is one I include. Thank you for having your blog. It is a way to help other people to heal or to help other people who do not understand abortion. You are a wonderful witness to God and to love. Thank you.

About that beautiful garden and statue that you want to visit… do not worry that you need to sit in your car waiting for no one to be around… do not worry that someone will discover the reason for your tears if they see you there.

Do you see the beauty - its a memorial to all children lost - anyone - even a person who never knew a child lost - can be touched as to tears - because we all have within us a love for the innocent child.

So, if someone witnesses you crying - its okay - what they know is you have a heart of love - a heart that cried because you know love and sorrow comes to all of us at the death of a child - any child.

I’m so glad you attended Rachel’s Vineyard.

Even though it is still hard to say your precious daughter’s name outloud - please begin today. Saying her name out loud every day in prayer will ease your pains in saying her name. “Dear Lord, thank you for my precious daughter, Grace. Thank you for holding her for me. I rejoice that she is with you and will rejoice the day I hold Grace in my own arms. For today, Dear Lord, I rejoice at the beauty you give me each day on earth. I ask you to continue healing my pains.”

Dearest For Good, I know August 22 will be an emotional day. Take time that day to take care of yourself. Your sweet little Grace entered Eternal Life that day - it is Grace’s feast day. You did not choose to abort dear Grace, you did as you were told. Your little daughter understands this. She does not hold you this against you. She wants you to know she has always forgiven you of all that happened. She loves you very much.

May you grieve so as your healing continue and you find peace.

Can you make a visit soon to the beautiful “Garden of Hope” and sit in prayer at the beautiful statue of “Hope”. I have asked God to wrap you in His loving arms as you drive to the garden and as you sit there feeling His love and the love Grace has for you.
 
I paid for my child’s abortion in April 1987, 26 years ago.
What has helped me to heal is to deal with the truth of what happened. I denied the truth for years by accepting my behavior as that of a stupid young man. caught up in the dominant culture. I always told myself that I was just following my hormones like any other young guy, and these things happen. The abortion continued to bother me for many years, even after I confessed it twice. I felt guilty, tortured, knew it was wrong. Confession always made me feel better- for a time.

Before I relate the following story, I would not like for anyone to question the orthodoxy of this priest’s actions. I know they can be questioned. He knows it. That’s not the point.

The third time I confessed the abortion, I told the priest about how the guilt bothered me etc… This priest pointed at me and said “pick a name, we are going to baptize your child right here in the confessional”. He confronted me with the truth right there. I had never really taken responsibility before God for my child, had never even considered that my child really exists and that he deserves a name from me, his father. Instead I had him killed, my own child. I had always confessed for me, for my feelings, for my guilt, my discomfort. Selfish.

So, in my case, healing did not come until I was confronted with reality. Healing only came after I acknowledged the ugliness and cruelty of what happened. I had to hit bottom.

It is comforting to know that Christ, in his justice, hears the cries of the poor and innocent when we fail them. The Pope’s recent sermon talks about this passage:
10 The LORD said, "What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground.
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God has heard this cry when we could not.
 
clem456 said:
I paid for my child’s abortion in April 1987, 26 years ago.

The third time I confessed the abortion, I told the priest about how the guilt bothered me etc… This priest pointed at me and said “pick a name, we are going to baptize your child right here in the confessional”.
Click to expand...
Your priest understood the importance of your child having a name. Thank you for sharing the beauty of this. It is said that God helps parents to know the name of their child who is in Heaven.

Dearest Clem, do you know there are healing programs that fathers of aborted children can attend? If you have never gone to one, I suggest you attend as you will find even more healing.
 
ForGood,My birthday is Aug 22. I will be sure to say an extra prayer on that day in honor of your child and for you as well.

Clem, thanks for sharing your story. Fathers of aborted babies are often forgotten about. I’ll whisper your name and your child’s to the Almighty during prayer. Remember also that when you are speaking with a priest under the seal of a confessional, he is acting “in persona Christi”; in the person of Christ. Whatever he said in that moment was FROM GOD!! Congratulations on the Baptism of your child!!

Both of you stay strong and remember that the Mass is a mixing of heaven and earth. Speak to your children during Mass (because they are with you) and listen for their whispers as well. God Bless!!!
 
The victims of abortion are not only in the womb.

Thank you for sharing your story and telling the truth about abortion.
 
ForGood said:
I was working on a few things today and I came across this photo. It’s a statue called, “Hope.” The first time I saw a photo of this statue was in a flyer for a “Garden of Hope” that is not too far from where I live. It’s a memorial for babies lost to abortion or miscarriage, for all babies lost before their birth. I’ve wanted to try to visit it a few times, but I’m not sure how public it would be and I’m sure I would sit in my car waiting for there to be no one around before I even attempted to enter the place.

In the statue, it looks as though He took her hand though - either way, could you just imagine that?

I guess I’ll have to look closely if I ever get to see the sculpture in real life. . But even a cursory glance tells me it’s beautiful and fills me with hope.
Click to expand...
Dearest For Good,

I see how much you would like to visit this beautiful statue, “Hope”.

Can you make that visit in hope and trust, leaving behind fear? Do not be afraid of who will see you.

You are a wonderful mother who lost one of her children through abortion. You love your sweet precious Grace.

You have shared your story with others through your blog. There are hurting mothers and fathers who you have helped to heal because of your blog. There are people who have changed their hearts about abortion because of your blog.

Some very loving people have placed this statue in the Garden of Hope - to help others to heal.

I believe if you need total privacy during your first visit there - God will provide this for you.

I believe if there is someone who happens to stop or see you at the statue - it will be okay. I don’t think God will allow anyone to see you there who would seek to bring embarrassment or shame to you.

I pray you can visit this beautiful Garden of Hope and sit there in peace at the statue Hope.

Could this be a physical place where you continue on your journey of healing?
 
With God’s unimaginable and very present grace and your clear and generous cooperation with Him, you have succeeded in converting that mistake into a superabundant gift of love for us and the whole world.

Draw peace and strength from His love.

God Bless and thank you for sharing.
 
Irish_Cabbie said:
The Garden of Hope is located in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, not far from where I live. It is a beautiful place.

lancastergardenofhope.com/

ForGood, I will pray for you and your family. Thank you for telling your story.
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I meant to say that The Garden of Hope is located in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. The garden is not located in the City of Lancaster. The Garden of Hope is located in the city of Intercourse, PA, which is part of Lancaster County. I apologize for any confusion.
 
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