G
Grigsby
Guest
Hello, this is my first post!
Early last month I turned 41, somewhat fittingly on a Sunday. On the Friday and Saturday prior, something very odd happened to me culminating in something that feels like it might be a calling. The nature of my job means I interact with a lot of older people, something I actually really enjoy. On the Friday I felt particularly content with how the day went and I found myself wondering if perhaps I should be providing solace to the lonely and sick rather than passing my days as a banking clerk. It was then that I resolved to start going back to church, not really sure why (I have always had a deep belief in God, but over the years drifted away from the Church and prayer – I appreciate this sounds contradictory!).
While looking up the mass times, via the internet, for my local church I serendipitously came across a website detailing the Liturgy of the Hours. Something I found comfort in reading and resolved to pray the Hours, again not really sure why. The next day, while praying Lauds I had what I can only describe as a revelation, it’s very hard to describe but was like a humbling, very emotional, wave of understanding washing over me perhaps more aptly described as though something clicked into place. I realised not only had been so very wrong in ignoring my faith, but a feeling that I must, for want of a better word “serve”.
The whole experience has left me feeling whole, happy in fact, like I’ve found purpose – but rather confused as to what happened to me. The strange thing is I don’t think I’m called to the Priesthood, as contemplating it feels “wrong”, instead I feel incredibly drawn to the permanent Diaconate.
I’ve spoken to my Parish Priest, who gently suggested that this may all be a “flash in the pan” but not to ignore it, to contemplate, while continuing to pray the Liturgy of the Hours, over the next six months and then, if I continue to feel the way I do, he would then put me in touch with a Spiritual Director.
The reception from my friends, family and fellow parishioners has been somewhat mixed, but I still feel the need to talk about it. I guess my question to you all is, what do you think?
Early last month I turned 41, somewhat fittingly on a Sunday. On the Friday and Saturday prior, something very odd happened to me culminating in something that feels like it might be a calling. The nature of my job means I interact with a lot of older people, something I actually really enjoy. On the Friday I felt particularly content with how the day went and I found myself wondering if perhaps I should be providing solace to the lonely and sick rather than passing my days as a banking clerk. It was then that I resolved to start going back to church, not really sure why (I have always had a deep belief in God, but over the years drifted away from the Church and prayer – I appreciate this sounds contradictory!).
While looking up the mass times, via the internet, for my local church I serendipitously came across a website detailing the Liturgy of the Hours. Something I found comfort in reading and resolved to pray the Hours, again not really sure why. The next day, while praying Lauds I had what I can only describe as a revelation, it’s very hard to describe but was like a humbling, very emotional, wave of understanding washing over me perhaps more aptly described as though something clicked into place. I realised not only had been so very wrong in ignoring my faith, but a feeling that I must, for want of a better word “serve”.
The whole experience has left me feeling whole, happy in fact, like I’ve found purpose – but rather confused as to what happened to me. The strange thing is I don’t think I’m called to the Priesthood, as contemplating it feels “wrong”, instead I feel incredibly drawn to the permanent Diaconate.
I’ve spoken to my Parish Priest, who gently suggested that this may all be a “flash in the pan” but not to ignore it, to contemplate, while continuing to pray the Liturgy of the Hours, over the next six months and then, if I continue to feel the way I do, he would then put me in touch with a Spiritual Director.
The reception from my friends, family and fellow parishioners has been somewhat mixed, but I still feel the need to talk about it. I guess my question to you all is, what do you think?
ray:t2: