A deepening spiritual depression

[xAlisonx]

thank you so, so much to everyone who has continued to read and respond in support, love and encouragement. i promise that i will respond to each of you individually very soon.

i just wanted to reach out again because my depression not only hasn’t lifted, but has reached the point of including suicidal thoughts. please don’t become worried or frantic - i’m not in any way actively suicidal, and i would absolutely never do anything to harm myself like i have in my past. i’m just having thoughts that involve not wanting to be here anymore, just wanting to go Home. i don’t know if i can deal with this. i fell asleep last night instead of praying, so of course i’m going to feel even weaker. so partly to punish myself, i’m not going to sleep at all tonight, only prayer. i hate myself so much, which i know is sinful. i don’t know how to stop it, though. i don’t know how to learn to love myself. i’m thinking of calling my pastor and talking to him, because he helped me even when i was hospitalized and never turned my back on me even when i was laying in a hospital bed with a bandaged arm. i feel like curling up and crying, or just going to sleep and never waking up. i’m losing energy and losing hope, and i just don’t want to be here anymore in this world of pain. but maybe the point isn’t to turn away from this Cross, but to embrace it - it will probably be easier if i accept that God will turn this for good and do all that i can to deal with this, including prayer. so today i’ll do my best to take care of myself - even though i want to do anything but - while reaching out to others who need help as well, to take some of the focus off of myself. why am i so selfish? i don’t deserve all this attention. i’m just a stupid, weak little girl who tries too hard to become something she’ll never attain. i’m such a disappointment and a failure. it’s the same thoughts every time, and i can’t help but believe them.

there must be something huge coming up soon, if this season of suffering is so bad. i very rarely have suicidal thoughts when i’m like this - only one other time do i specifically remember thinking that i deserved to die. it’s just so confusing - i don’t know what to do to make this better. i’m not going to do anything to myself, please don’t worry about that. i’m smarter than that, and i’m too afraid of Purgatory, anyway. i’m definitely not good enough for Heaven at this point, so no matter how much it hurts, i’m staying alive.

 

[Fran65]

Hi Alison,
You can change those things. You are being lied to by your illness.

I also suffer from depression and thoughts of self harm. Whenever I have a self destructive thought I pray the child’s guardian angel prayer:

Angel of God, guardian dear,
To whom God’s love commits me here,
Ever this day be at my side
To light and guard, to rule and guide.

You also don’t need to be praying long, involved prayers or for it to be any more complicated than simply reciting the phrase “Jesus, Help me.” God knows that you are struggling and He wants to take care of you, so let Him. He doesn’t expect someone with a broken leg to run a marathon and nor does He expect someone that is ill to drive themselves beyond their limits. You must take care of yourself accordingly. Listen to Jesus words, He speaks the truth:

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matt.11: 28-30

Believe me when I tell you that you must spend time around others and active when you are in this state. Go for a walk, learn to knit or sew, get involved in voluntary activities.Spending time on your own and thinking the same thoughts over and over is enormously self destructive and feeds the illness. You also need to talk to a professional who can help you. There are Christian counsellors and mental health support services available. For example, there is a website for Catholic Therapists:

catholictherapists.com/

God Bless

 

[Epistemes]

Today’s *Morning Prayer *from Magnificat:

O God who dwells in unapproachable light, you have come among us to lighten our darkness. Open our eyes to see your glory concealed in the revelations of daily life; open our hearts to receive you with Simeon’s welcoming faith. We ask this through Jesus Christ, your Son, our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God for ever and ever. Amen.

 

[clairemd]

Can I say a prayer?

Your steadfast Love, O Lord, never ceases
Your mercies never come to an end
They are new every morning
Great is thy faithfulness, O Lord

Because of your astounding love, Lord, we cannot help but be consumed with it and be taken by it as we wake up and lead our lives everyday. We thank you for having given us the chance to feel and know you in a very personal way. We thank you for letting us see your salvation in our lives. We acknowledge how we need you and how we need to give back to You. But sometimes, dear Lord, we are overwhelmed by our need to do all things and be all things for you that we forget that we can only do it one step at a time. We forget that we can only live it each day at a time. Help us and lead us to focus on what really matters. What our hearts really long to do for you. And let us be reminded that you work in mysterious and miraculous ways in our lives. Remind us, too, that we have been blessed by the abilities and capabilities according to your grace and we can only do so much, the rest is up to you. Multiply what we have and what we can give and provide for what we still can do that in the long run, our blessings become a source of blessings to others, too. And that in the end, You alone deserve all glory, honor and praise. Amen.

 

[AveSantaMaria]

Dear Alison, please don’t worry about offending me or needing to be too sensitive to me!! Maybe I just don’t know what I’m talking about and someone else will be far better able to advise you or help you than I can. Ignore me then! This thread is about you!!

NEVER FEEL ASHAMED THAT YOU NEED HELP!! GOD LOVES US IN OUR WEAKNESSES TOO!! IT IS ALWAYS THE WEAK THAT HE HAS USED TO DEMONSTRATE HIS STRENGTH, MERCY, and LOVE!!

You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb. I praise you, so wonderfully you made me; wonderful are your works! My very self you knew; my bones were not hidden from you, When I was being made in secret, fashioned as in the depths of the earth. Your eyes foresaw my actions; in your book all are written down; my days were shaped, before one came to be. How precious to me are your designs, O God; how vast the sum of them!Were I to count, they wouold outnumber the sands; to finish, I would need eternity.Psalm 139:13-18

"We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose."Romans 8:28 You love God or you wouldn’t be here!

it will probably be easier if I accept that God will turn this for good and do all that i can to deal with this, including prayer. so today i’ll do my best to take care of myself- even though i want to do anything but

THAT’s the spirit!! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!! You are already offering it all up to God, “Jesus, we endure this for you!!” so your sufferings are not in vain. If you can’t do anything else, just pray something like “Hail Mary or Saint Mary or Long Live Jesus, Long Live Mary or Jesus, we endure this for you!!” These are called: ejaculations. But if you can, maybe you need exercise, or spiritual guidance from your priest, or to watch a happy movie!!! Who knows, maybe God is applying your sufferings to help your friend or someone else in need! Someone involved in spiritual warfare ministry once told me that when it came time for her to pray for someone else, she would face all kinds of obstacles like headaches, etc., finally, she connected this with the fact that the was deeply involved with spiritual warfare ministry, and it was a spiritual attack!! Yes, maybe you can ask your pastor for guidance on how to learn to love yourself!!AMEN!! AMEN!! AMEN!!

St. Louis Mary de Montfort, St. Maximilian Maria, St. Josephine Bakhita, St. Therese of Liseux, St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, St. Francis of Assisi, St. John, St. Stephen, St. Paul, His Holiness Pope John Paul II, Blessed Louis and Marie-Azelie Martin, we humbly plead and beg to you, pray to Mary to help this poor soul!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!

Blessed Louis Martin (her father) wanted to be a monk, but was rejected due to his lack of knowledge of Latin and decided to be a watchmaker. He fell in love with Blessed Marie-Azelie Guerin, a lacemaker who wanted to be a nun but could not because she was too sickly. They had nine children, but only five daughters survived infancy. In 1877, when St. Therese of Liseux was 4, Blessed Marie-Azelie Guerin died of breast cancer. in 1889, Blessed Louis Martin suffered two paralyzing strokes followed by cerebral arteriosclerosis and was hospitalized for three years at the Bon Sauveur asylum in Caen. In 1892, he returned to Lisieux where his daughters Celine and Leonie looked after him devotedly until his death on July 29, 1894 at the chateau La Musse near Evreux.

So, St. Therese of Liseux had a mother who died at 4, a father hospitalized for insanity at the age of 16, and lived her life as a Carmelite nun. She wanted to be a missionary but was too sick herself and died of tuberculosis at 24. She focused on Heaven while on earth, in fact she is quoted to have said, “I will spend my Heaven doing good on Earth.” She struggled with thoughts of suicide as well and said she would have committed suicide if not for her faith. Now she died in 1897. Maybe we should think about the most famous missionary I know of, one whom even many atheists admire when they think of Christians and Catholics as hypocritical, Mother Teresa.

May the Holy Spirit through the Immaculate Heart of Mary grace you with the gifts that you most desperately need, particularly an abundance of Christ’s love, mercy, discernment, wisdom, strength, courage, and perseverance!! May the LOVE and MERCY of the Sacred Heart of Jesus shine down into your life!! May the WONDERS of the Mother of the Word help you!!

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world!

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us!

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

 

[AveSantaMaria]

What was Mother Teresa’s birth name, Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu, who did she rename herself after, St. Therese of Liseux. Who is considered the greatest person in India, excluding Mahatma Ghandi, Mother Teresa. Who won a Noble Peace Prize? Mother Teresa. Does Mother Teresa’s words of wisdom and love in her book sound very very much like the words written by St. Therese of Liseux in her autobiography? YES. Now, look at Blessed Louis Martin, one miracle has been attributed to the joint intercession of St. Therese of Liseux’s parents, so despite being committed to an insane asylum, GOD STILL LOVES HIM!!!

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to seperate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.Romans 8:38-39

Night is always darkest before the dawn! Jesus, we endure these for you!! If it is your will that we be victim souls in this way, and this fight to love ourselves is how we share in your Crucifixion and contribute to the redemption of mankind, then "Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still not my will but yours be done."Luke 22:42

Other holy men who suffered. From A Pope’s Answer to the Problem of Pain catholic.com/thisrock/2007/0701fea1.asp In the third grade his mother died, his only sibling, an older brither died three years later; he discovered his father dead on the floor in their apartment and was an orphan at twenty. The Nazis overran his country and he did hard labor in a stone quarry. Many of his friends were killed, some in concentration camps, others shot by the Gestapo for the crime of studying for the priesthood. He was run down by a German truck and nearly died. When the Nazis left his beloved Poland, he and his countrymen again came under the rule of a dictator when the iron boot of Joseph Stalin replaced that of Adolf Hitler. Later in his life, his beloved Church was torn apart by the torm that followed the Second Vatican Council. At sixty, an Islamic assassin shot him in his own front yard, and he nearly died again. As an old man, he suffered from debilitating Parkinson’s disease that rendered him immobile, distorted his physical appearance, and finally took his ability to speak. Pope John Paul II knew about human suffering. Here is his encyclical: On the Christian Meaning of Human Suffering vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/apost_letters/documents/hf_jp-ii_apl_11021984_salvifici-doloris_en.html

Or our current Pope, His Holiness Benedict XVI, one of his cousins, a 14 year old boy with Down Syndrome was killed by the Nazi regime in its campaign of eugenics. He trained in the German infantry but a subsequent illness precluded him from the usual rigours of military duty. He was forcibly drafted into the Nazi army and deserted. When he wrote On Christian Hope vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/encyclicals/documents/hf_ben-xvi_enc_20071130_spe-salvi_en.html he focused on St. Josephine Bakhita, a Sudanese slave kidnapped, mutilated, and sold to slavery. Her fright and horrible brandings were so painful she forgot her own name! Bakhita, not the name she was given at birth, means “fortunate.” She was released by a kind Catholic family and became a Catholic nun. The rest of her life she suffered from mental illness due to the pain she experienced in slavery, she would have painful flashbacks and say “Please, loosen the chains… they are heavy!” Mary Most Holy freed her from all pain. Her last words were, “Our Lady! Our Lady!” vatican.va/news_services/liturgy/saints/ns_lit_doc_20001001_giuseppina-bakhita_en.html You, like her, are a DAUGHTER OF GOD!!

PLEASE DO NOT PUNISH YOURSELF FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO PRAY, WE PRAY OUT OF LOVE NOT SELF-HATE!! ASK YOUR PRIEST BEFORE SELF-SACRIFICE!!

St. Mary Faustina, St. Francis of Assisi, St. Dominic, St. Louis Mary de Montfort, St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, St. Maximilian Maria, St. Padre Pio, St. Jerome, St. Augustine of Hippo, St. Therse of Liseux, Blessed Louis and Marie-Azelie Martin and all the Martin daughters, unborn babies, St. Josephine Bakhita, St. John of the Cross, St. Teresa of Avila, Mother Teresa, St. Paul, St. John, we humbly beg you to pray to the Mother of the Word for us for this poor child!!

May the Holy Spirit through the Mother of the Word grant you the graces that you most desperately need!! May the LOVE and MERCY of the Sacred Heart of Jesus overflow in your life!! May the WONDERS of the Mother of the Word come to your aid!!

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world!

O Mary, concieved without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us!

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

 

[AveSantaMaria]

Right now, since you are offering your sufferings up to God, you are participating in redemptive suffering. "In my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the Church.'Colossians 1:24… Thus to share in the sufferings of Christ is to suffer for the kingdom God. consecration.com/default.aspx?id=4 WE PRAY THAT IT WILL BE OVER NOW!! AMEN!! AMEN!! AMEN!! Thank you BarbaraTherese and JReducation for teaching me so much on the Catholic meaning of suffering!! Alison, I wish you had some friends in your area who are faithful Catholics as well so that you would be supported in addition to supporting others!! Have you ever tried attending your Church’s LifeTeen group or youth choir? TAKE CARE!! MANY BLESSINGS TO YOU!! MUCH LOVE!!

I echo the prayer of His Holiness Pope John Paul II, I pray that Mary, Health of the Sick, will continue to grant her loving protection to all who are wounded in body and spirit, and will intercede for those who care for them. May she help us to unite our sufferings with those of her Son as we journey in joyful hope to the safety of the Father’s House. St. Louis Mary de Montfort, St. Maximilian Maria, His Holiness Pope John Paul II pray to the Mother of the WORD to help this poor child, relieve this poor child, uplift and protect this poor child. LOVE LIVE JESUS, LONG LIVE MARY!!! AMEN!! AMEN!! AMEN!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! WE GLORIFY YOUR NAME LORD FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE AND PLACE OUR TRUST IN YOU!!

St. Louis Mary de Montfort, St. Maximilian Maria, St. Therese of Liseux, St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, St. Josephine Bakhita, St. Martin of Porres, Blessed Louis and Marie-Azelie Martin, St. Augstine of Hippo, St. Jerome, St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, St. Lucy of Fatima, Blessed Mother Teresa, St. John, St. Stephen, St. Paul, St. Peter, St. Francis of Assisi, St. Padre Pio, St. Maria Goretti, St. Dympha, His Holiness Pope John Paul II, St. Michael, St. Raphael, St. Benedict, St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, all the angels and saints, pray to the Mother of the Word for the release of this poor soul, for her loving union with Christ, for the love and mercy and wisdom of Christ to be outpoured into her life, her heart, for her to love herself through you because you love her!! AMEN!! AMEN!! AMEN!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!

Don’t give in! This too shall pass!

“Never will anyone who says his Rosary every day be led astray. This is a statement that I would gladly sign with my blood.” St. Louis Mary de Montfort

"If you say the Rosary faithfully unto death, I do assure you that, in spite of the gravity of your sins, ‘you will receive a never-fading crown of glory’ (1 St. Peter 5:4) St. Louis Mary de Montfort

“Even if you are on the brink of damnation, even if you have one foot in hell, even if you have sould your soul to the devil as sorcerers do who practice black magic, and even if you are a heretic as obstinate as a devil, sooner or later you will be converted and will amend your life and will save your soul, if–and mark well what I say–if you say the Holy Rosary devoutly every day until death for the purpose of knowing the truth and obtaining contrition and pardon for your sins.” Saint Louis Mary de Montfort

“The Most Holy Virgin in these last times in which we live has given a new efficacy to the recitation of the Rosary to such an extent that there is no problem, no matter how difficult it is, whether temporal or above all spiritual, in the personal life of each one of us, of our families…that cannot be solved by the Rosary. There is no problem, I tell you, no matter how difficult it is, that we cannot resolve by the prayer of the Holy ROsary.” SIster Lucia dos Santos, Fatima seer

“The Rosary is THE weapon.” St. Padre Pio

So, you DON’T NEED TO SAY ALL THOSE PRAYERS IF YOU CANT OR DONT WANT TO. ONE 15 MINUTE ROSARY IS ENOUGH PRAYER EVERY DAY TO KEEP YOUR MIND AT PEACE THAT YOU HAVE DONE SUFFICIENT AND THE REST CAN BE DONE ONLY OUT OF LOVE!!** I DON"T KNOW IF YOU EVEN NEED TO DO THAT MUCH AS EPISTEMES SUGGESTED!! OUR GOD IS A MERCIFUL GOD!!**

On the Dolors of Mary by St. Alphonsus de Liguori, one of the 33 Doctors of the Catholic Church, explains the sufferings of Our Lady http://writer.zoho.com/public/immaculate/Seven-dolors

May the Holy Spirit through the Mother of the Word grant you the graces that you most desperately need, now! May the LOVE and MERCY of the Sacred Heart of Jesus come quickly and abundantly into your life!! May the WONDERS of the Mother of the Word be demonstrated through you!!

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world!

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us!

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

 

[AveSantaMaria]

I visited your website and read your poems!! They are all very beautiful and touching and lovely, as they help me to see what you are going through and to feel it a tiny to so tiny bit. However, I think that this may help!! You may need to read and hear the words of others who are filled with happiness and joy.

Here I am to Worship
youtube.com/watch?v=CoxopsRSfdU&feature=related

How Great is Our God
youtube.com/watch?v=Ud0kaWLHEd4&feature=related

This is one of my favorite songs:
Let My Life Be Like a Love Songyoutube.com/watch?v=eqMcwW4fc94&feature=related

I’m sure there is a better version out there for free but I haven’t searched enough to find it I just know that in person this song was beautiful

Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord
youtube.com/watch?v=wutmEjdbedE&feature=related

Amazing Grace
youtube.com/watch?v=3ZJ-kLKut9E

Holy is the Lord God Almighty
youtube.com/watch?v=3X4CwGGJQMI&feature=related

We fall Down
youtube.com/watch?v=JEswcXc-CCU&feature=related

Blessed Be Your Name (this one is Catholic )
youtube.com/watch?v=2cyqn2LxKVk&feature=related

Buy a cd by someone like John Talbott with Catholic music, especially the Gregorian chants or Marian tunes or young peoples’ tunes. Maybe someone else knows Catholic tunes as I don’t know the youtube links off the top of my head!!

Attend the healing prayer service that probably goes on in your church once a month or so. If you hear of a large-scale Catholic Charismatic group meeting, maybe try that as well as they often have a healing ministry, incredible beauty, and wondrous song.

Singing is prayer too, so if you listen to these songs, it is like they are praying for you

I don’t know why the Divine Office (also called Liturgy of the Hours) is the official prayer life of the Church, but I suspect it is because it is full of the psalms - which are almost all praises to God. It is honestly in praising God that I probably feel at my happiest! Sometimes reflecting too much on my feelings drags me down. Maybe its a mental fight. Don’t let the thoughts in. You don’t have to argue with them, fight them, distract yourself!! Maybe you can even try and sing along with the songs in your room every once in a while. Maybe I can hardly feel sad when I worship. Maybe Jesus through Mary isn’t even thinking about your sin, he is just so happy that you are safe and back with him! And maybe he isn’t worried about your weakness be he knows that he is all powerful God strong who defeated Hell, whose Father created Heaven and Earth and every second of your life. He doesn’t even need you or me to save the world, he just lets us have a part in it because he loves us that much.

St. Maximlian Maria was still singing praise of God as he was starved, dehyrdrated for three weeks in the Auschwitz Concentration camp before they fed him carbolic acid and put him in the gas oven. St. Maximilian Maria pray for Alison, lovely child of God, pray to the Immaculate Heart of Mary to the Sacred Heart of Jesus for her that she be released from the chains of bondage and oppression that are hanging over her soul!! You who carried throughts of Jesus and Mary and Heaven with you to the Auschwitz concentration camp, bringing joy with you wherever you went, plead to the Immaculate Heart of Mary to the Sacred Heart of Jesus that joy be brought into this beautiful soul’s life!! St. Louis Mary de Montfort, St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, St. Dominic, St. Josephine Bakhita, St. Therese of Liseux, St. John of the Cross, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, Mother Teresa, His Holiness Pope John Paul II, St. Augustine, St. Jerome, St. John, St. Peter, St. Paul, St. Stephen, St. Luke, St. Matthew, St. Mark, St. Martin de Porres, St. Rose of Lima, St. Maria de Goretti, St. Francis of Assisi, St. Bonaventure, St. Alphonsus Mary de Liguori, St. Michael, St. Raphael, St. Padre Pio, St. Gabriel please, we humbly beg of you, all the angels and saints, plead to the Mother of the Word for the life and happiness of this child, this daughter of God!! We know you have listened to our request!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! AMEN!! AMEN!! AMEN!!

May the Holy Spirit through the Immaculate Heart of Mary grant us the graces that we most desperately need! May the LOVE and MERCY of the Sacred Heart of Jesus be known by you, fill your heart, shine down into your light, touch us others you, heal you, fill you abundantly with joy and happiness and interior peace!! May the WONDERS of the Mother of the Word come to your aid!!

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world!

O Mary, concieved without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us!

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

 

[RubyT]

why? i’m not good enough for these kinds of things, these kinds of experiences. i don’t pray enough for others, i don’t do enough good works. i’m not good enough, i - can’t breathe.

still - Jesus, i endure this for You. please help me.

Lord, i am not worthy to receive You, but only say the word and i shall be healed.

xAlisonx, None of us are worthy. I myself have gone through this, I am such a wretched sinner, nothing I do is good enough.
You are feeling the brunt of all your sins. This is actually a good thing. It enables you to recognize of all your transgressions because you are actually growing in Spirit and finding truth. You are being reborn. Your flesh dies and your spirit grows - you are becoming born again.

You are repentant because of these feelings. You are feeling that you have offended God and thus are gaining the knowledge of how much God actually Loves you. Through this recognition you see His abounding love and mercy for us. His Grace is amazing.

NONE OF US ARE WORTHY>Which makes His Love and Grace so much more awesome.

Remember the scriptures:

Luke 15:7 I tell you in that same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents, Than ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.

1 John 1:8 If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 6:6 knowing this, that our *old self *was crucified with Him, that our body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin; 6:7 for he who has died is freed from sin.

John 1:3 Jesus answered, Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

Be well my friend this is just growing “in spirit” pains. Be thankful that you have the Grace of God to open your eyes to your sin. Now go to confession and start your life anew - reborn and filled with the Holy Spirit. Isn’t that just so amazing.

 

[RubyT]

i’d really appreciate it if all of you could keep me in your thoughts and prayers, and if you could give me any advice on how to get through this, coming from your own experiences or just from what you know. my faith in God is still as strong as ever, and i still love Jesus with all that i am and have. it’s my faith in myself that’s slowly dying. thank you so much—i have faith that i will find even more support and comfort on here than i already have through your responses to this. God bless you all—stay strong, stay safe and take care of yourselves.

love,
in the peace and love of Christ,
alison xx

alison, Above you said " it’s my faith in myself that’s slowly dying" this is a key factor. You need not have faith in yourself, you need only have faith in Christ. He will guide you, He will have love and mercy for you. Right now you are giving up yourself to Him. This is a good thing my friend. A very good thing.

Know that we are here for you and we love you. PM me anytime.
God bless you.

 

[RubyT]

Peter 4:12
Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you;

4:13 but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing; so that also at the revelation of His glory, you may rejoice with exultation.