A Demon or the Holy Spirit

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After I became a believer and later a Catholic, I started to get “feelings.”

I would describe these “feelings” as inner promptings about what I should do in my life. For example, when praying about whether I should take a new job, I might receive a response one way or another, about whether that job was what God wanted.

In my every day life, I might also receive inner promptings, “feelings” of spiritual sweetness guiding me to one thing or another. For example, I might be guided to do an act of kindness for someone in need, or reach out to a family member.

Over time, these feelings of spiritual sweetness increased and began addressing all sorts of things in my life.

I believed them to be from the Holy Spirit, and I followed them at every turn, even when it cost me greatly, like a very nice job.

Then, one day, I was lying in bed, praying about one sin in my life and what to do about it, when I heard a voice.

The voice began to tell me what to do about my sin.

The odd part was the voice didn’t come from outside of me or in my head, but spoke using my own tongue and mouth.

As a believer, and one who has followed God for about eight years now, I genuinely believed the voice to be that of the Holy Spirit, as surprised as I was that I was hearing it.

The only problem was the voice began to make me do things, as opposed to those “inner promptings” I mentioned.

When I say “make,” I mean make. As in, me having no choice. The next day I had an appointment that I desperately needed to make, and the voice simply told me I was not going. Nor would the voice allow me to go.

I physically tried to get up and go to the appointment but found my limbs powerless.

Since that occasion, this has happened thousands more times. My life is not my own. I do not get to choose what I do or do not do. And I have no peace. The voice continues to speak to me through my own mouth, but not about sin anymore. It just talks about anything and everything. For a long time it acted like it was a teacher giving me life lessons, but now its just there.

And worst of all, the voice makes me do things. I might be sitting at work and need to get work done and it just stops me from working. And like I said, I have no choice. I cannot physically work in that moment.

I believe I have become possessed by an evil spirit. The sad part is that the path that lead to this terror was one of following what I thought were the inner promptings and guidance of the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ was the center of my life, my savior, and now I feel abandoned to this thing that torments me and gives me no peace.

Can anyone shed light on this? Would God allow me to become possessed? Would the Holy Spirit possess? Is this somehow to grow me?

Why would God abandon me to this?

When I was following all those inner promptings, if they weren’t the Holy Spirit, what were they? A demon? Have I been deceived?

Has anyone ever had an experience like this?

And how do I get help to make it go?

To be clear, I have been in the hospital with doctors twice to address this problem, to no avail.
 
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You may want to talk with your primary health care provider, often ‘voices’ forcing you to do things are a symptom of a serious mental illness. If health issues are ruled out, you may find guidance from a good priest or spiritual director.
 
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Thank you for your reply.

To be clear, I have been in the hospital with doctors twice to address this problem, to no avail.
 
I am sorry you are continuing to have issues despite being in the hospital twice.

Please continue to stay in touch with your doctors, and also please contact a priest in person.

This condition is not something that people on here can really help you with, beyond what folks have already said.
 
Some things the evil spirit forces me to do or forces me to not do.

Then, sometimes, it doesn’t care whether I do something or not. Like, for example, I chose to write this message on CAF. Or for example, I went to mass this morning.

I read somewhere that “God has demons on a tight leash” and they can only do what He allows.

I just wish God would stop allowing it to do anything at all.
 
Thanks. I guess my biggest question is why? Does God allow demons to possess people to strengthen our faiths? I was, am, a believing Catholic. I went to confession. I went to mass. I repented of my sins. I did my penance. I tried to follow the Holy Spirit in what he wanted.

Yet this still happened to me. Why?

Is this part of God’s plan for me some how?
 
Thanks for your response.

I went to the hospital to be treated and the treatment did not work. I still hear a voice and I am being forced to do things.

I understand the importance of seeking mental health help, but this has not gotten me anywhere.

That is why I am voicing this concern here, just to see if anyone else has been through something like it and could speak to it.
 
Thank you. Yes, my care was outpatient in nature and longterm.

Yes, I am trying to find a priest who will work with me on my problem.
 
Welcome to the forum @catholicneedshelp.

I agree with the past posters, stay under the guidance of your mental health team, let them know that the treatment is not working. If you are on medication stay on them.

Book a appointment with your priest, take all letters from your mental health treatment and diagnosis with you to show the priest.

Like others have said, we can only support you in various routes in seeking support and help. Non of us here can diagnose what type of affliction you are suffering from. It would be unwise for us to do so.

Pax Christi
 
Thank you @TheHolyTrinity

I understand.

I am just here to hear from anyone who may have been in this situation, have resources online or otherwise I should go to, or knows of how situations like this have gone for other people.
 
I am still waiting to get a meeting in person.

I guess something I should say is that as much as everyone wants to say that a.) this should not be assumed to be demonic and b.) it is probably just a mental health issue, the bottom line is that for a victim what works is what counts.

Even if someone diagnoses you with something and treats you for it, if no symptoms ever change then you as the victim are still suffering.

Its about what works. And medicine hasn’t worked. And I am still waiting on a priest. So here I am on CAF just to see if anyone has had any similar experiences or knows of anyone with any similar experiences.

The problem has been ongoing for a year now, without any improvement.

This is why I am investigating it as a demonic concern, after a year of medical treatment.
 
… The voice began to tell me what to do about my sin. …
Hearing a voice as if someone has spoken (not recognized by the individual as characteristic of their own thinking), without an external stimulus, is auditory verbal hallucination. Are you having those? Known sources can be temporal lobe seizures, dementia, brain infection, bipolar disorder, post traumatic stress, major depression, sleep deprivation, etc…
 
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No, like the evil spirit literally uses my own tongue and mouth to speak. Using my body.
 
Yes exactly. Only I wasn’t choosing to speak.

And it still happens on a daily basis.
 
Yes and I do too, but that is when I am choosing to move my tongue and use my mouth.

In the case that I am addressing, I am not choosing to do it. It happens without my say so.
 
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