A devout person who has anger (management) issues

[sorrowful1]

Does it suit a person who claims him/herself to be an ardent devotee to God - to have anger management issues? Well, I just thought that if one so believes in the Almighty and is devoted to Him , he/she won’t give in to anger whether or not there’s a direct cause to be. Of course, I’m not talking about saints.

A devout person I know (of) is prone to throwing such a wrath around her that I’m wondering if it’s actually God in “action” or her own psychological conflicts exploding out?

(P.s – I pray for her well-being; I pray to God that she be in peace).

 

[teamjesusnumber31]

Of course, I’m not talking about saints.

Saints are our models and guides to heaven and many saints had tempers. They used them to do good. So, you can have a temper and be a saint.

St. Louis de Montfort’s father was a “volcano frequently arupting” and Louis himself was the same. He used to anger to drive himself to do good, however. I don’t think he could have loved Mary as much as he did without the passion he had.

St Francis de Sales also had an awful temper which caused him to work so hard on being self possessed that that became one of his strongest qualities.

We’re all sinners and that includes the devout. I don’t think a bad temper makes a devout person hopeless. But it is a source of sin that needs to be overcome. It is my predominant sin.

 

[blackforest]

Does it suit a person who claims him/herself to be an ardent devotee to God - to have anger management issues?

To the extent that we are all sinners, yes. I love God and am sure I drive other people crazy . . . and that’s not just on CAF.

This quote is attributed to a lot of different people, but I think it applies here: “Be kind, for everyone you know is fighting a great battle.”

To live in anger is to suffer. You are wise to pray for her.

 

[NevermoreLenore]

Anger isn’t always a spiritual problem alone, but is often emotional, cognitive, and psychological as well. It probably would be immensely helpful for this person to see a mental health counsellor. Many time, anger is driven by trauma. She may want to be devout and indeed may do everything she should, but still may need help to discern the root cause of the anger. She probably has a heart inclined to God, but sometimes we need some counselling, guidance, and/or education to help us turn a corner.

I wish her, and you, well. Hang in there.

 

[NevermoreLenore]

To live in anger is to suffer. You are wise to pray for her.

I agree wholeheartedly–the angry person is a suffering person. It does take work to dig down to the root of what’s feeding the anger. There are those more inclined toward anger, but sometimes there is a possibly suppressed reason for the anger. That said, regardless of circumstances, it’s never acceptable for an angry person to be abusive toward others–verbally or otherwise.

 

[sorrowful1]

Really? I wasn’t aware of that. Thank you for illustrating examples of some.

If the anger is directed towards achieving good (for example, while making efforts to bring a drug addict to the “right” path, there can be a lot of obstacles and hence, anger can mount on) or if the outcome is somehow good, then, I think it’d be “acceptable”. However, I believe that if the anger is directed towards another only to vent one’s own frustration, it’s wrong. But i could be wrong here.

 

[teamjesusnumber31]

Maybe talk to your priest about anger.
I can confirm the other poster who said being angry means suffering.
It often feels like a vicious animal that lives inside of you that you feed but try not to.
Good night, I will pray for you and your friend

 

[MNathaniel]

I think context matters.

Acting abusively while angry is obviously wrong. And we must be careful to direct our anger towards sin not people.

At the same time, there are surely occasions where anger is a just response to evil, and the passion of the anger assists us in responding to the gravity of the evil.

Walking the line is presumably a matter of prudence.

I know that anger is something I struggle with personally, and I can’t say I’ve mastered it. But I will say, my experience of anger is that I think (poorly as I may manage mine) it gives an insight into the ‘anger’ of God towards evil, and the true gulf between Heaven and Hell. How cleanly that sword cleaves between them; how there is truly no compromise with evil, such is God’s anger at it.

Anyway, I’m sure your prayers for your friend are a good thing, one way or another.

 

[sorrowful1]

In the past, I have had anger management issues but after I embraced Jesus, it’s largely subsided; and in that I believe that I truly found God. Of course, my life is in no way a heavenly one (it’s so full of struggles) but my anger was one of my biggest enemies until I decided to take refuge in God. I can’t say the same about my worrying habit though. I constantly worry ( they say, leave everything to God and do not worry).

I fear Him and that fear has tamed down my unwanted emotion. I usually start to pray if anger gets hold of me (I’d not want my anger to let a person down).

I shall continue to pray for my acquaintance.

 

[brown_bear]

We must fight many years against anger.

Getting the first good results depends in my opinion on at least two things:

• the grace of God
• awareness of the appalling sufferings that we generate in others with our anger

 

[Eric_Hyom]

There is so much injustice in this world, and often there are times we feel real anger.

I listened to Glen tell his story in Manchester Cathedral. He had grown up with David Beckham, and they had both been signed up to play football with Leighton Orient. He had a life of fame and fortune ahead of him. Shortly after he went to a night club and was stabbed in the back and beaten up. He spent a year in hospital and has been paralysed from the waist down; he has been in a wheelchair for the last 27 years. They caught the man who did this, he served four years in prison, he was then able to walk out of prison on his own two feet, and justice had been served.

By this time, Glen had learned to drive a disabled taxi, he tracked down his assailant, and then stalked him with the intention of running him over. Glen saw an opportunity to run his attacker down, but something stopped him. He said he came to understand that true justice could not happen. Justice is not that two people should be crippled, rather, it is that neither of them should be crippled. He knew he could never turn back time. He came to understand that he had to let go of his hatred; if not, he would become worse than his assailant.

He said he has to live with two diseases, being crippled, and the greater disease was the hate burning away inside him. Forgiveness and letting go of the hatred was a gradual process for his own benefit, his wheelchair has been a daily reminder of the past injustice.

Glen goes round the country talking about the need to let go of anger, and striving to be the kind and caring person that you want to be. After we heard his story we were asked to say a blessing and we were to keep in mind all the people that we love and cared for. Then we were asked to say the same blessing for all those who had hurt us.

I can only say that as we sung the hymn, I looked around and people were in tears.
The peace video sung here - link

Now may the peace of the Lord be with you,
May the Lord bless you
May the Lord keep you
And may God’s face shine upon you always
And give you peace.

 

[kikiki32]

We don’t know what’s going on into the soul of each one. That’s up to God.

I love God, and long to love Him with all of my soul some day. But anger has been a constant in my life, since I have a strong temper and little patience. When I was a kid, I usually was quiet and slightly fearful. But I got angry very easily, and then I would shout, fight, protest, bite, throw things at people. I know I instilled some fear in some of my classmates. I spent my childhood learning (or trying to learn) how to control my anger.

Years after, I can say that I usually have it under control. But I also can say that (1) My natural tendencies and my temper are still the same: I’m quiet, careful… but I get angry quite often; (2) I’m very prone to get angry if I’m on the verge of getting a headache; and (3) I get angry more easily if I’m not sinning heavily in other fields.

Is a devout life compatible with anger? I’m sure it is. It’s something to work on in our path towards God. Each soul has its own challenges and this is definitely one of mine. Other souls have a stronger tendency to be sad, envious, greedy or gossipy to put some random examples. Does it suit a person who claims him/herself to be an ardent devotee to God to be sad, envious, greedy or gossipy? Exactly the same. Something to work on in their path towards God.

 

[1ke]

I just thought that if one so believes in the Almighty and is devoted to Him , he/she won’t give in to anger whether or not there’s a direct cause to be

Translation: I think if someone believes in God they never sin.

No, that isn’t realistic.

her own psychological conflicts exploding out?

Could be. We can’t really diagnose someone here, and you shouldn’t be either.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Does it suit a person who claims him/herself to be an ardent devotee to God - to have anger management issues? Well, I just thought that if one so believes in the Almighty and is devoted to Him , he/she won’t give in to anger whether or not there’s a direct cause to be. Of course, I’m not talking about saints.

There are plenty of saints who struggled with their anger. St. Jerome and St. Francis de Sales are two saints I know of who had a temper. I have no idea why you would exclude saints.

People have human faults. Being devout does not mean you don’t have struggles. A devout person can certainly struggle with anger just like a devout person might struggle with lust, pride, or any number of other human emotions. Devout people don’t automatically all become calm like a bunch of meditating monks. Some of them have to work at it.

A person with excessive anger would do well to work on their charity and patience, and also seek help for any underlying physical or mental issues that may be causing the anger. Excessive anger usually isn’t “God in action” unless it’s righteous wrath, like if you see someone beating a helpless old lady or desecrating the Eucharist you have good cause to be angry, but even then you need to stay in control and take the action appropriate to the situation, not go crazy and hack the offender into 100 pieces.

 

[sorrowful1]

@Tis_Bearself My perception of a devout being has been entirely wrong, then. I just thought that when we surrender ourselves to God, we give up despair, anger ,greed etc. Besides, I’ve read about saints who, despite being condemned to harsh punishment, never took to angry outbursts or response ( forgot the names in particular) and hence, my concept. I think I mixed them with monks?

 

[TheLittleLady]

Devout people still experience emotions. Anger is an emotion. Jesus got angry.

Anger can lower our inhibitions and make us more vulnerable to sinning, however, it is not a sin of itself.

 

[shanishani7]

I am a devout person who love God the most, and I am also easily get angry too. I’d rather say that I am quite emotional.

So you can’t say that it’s your wrong. No human is perfect. Most of the time, angry is a reaction and response to the action you received from others and pressure of environment.

For example, people scolded at you without investigation, you got angry. But its others fault to blame you wrongly. And someone pressure you at work or you are at environment you are not get used to, then you got angry. then it may not be totally your fault. But God wants you to choose to forgive them. You can have the emotion of anger, its normal, but you still have choice to forgive, that is not to take revenge or not to scold them back, forget and accept their wrongs.

I suggest you to pray Rosary more often, if possible everyday. You will have peace everyday, trust me.

Pray and ask God to increase your “ability to forgive”, it maybe a process God wants to transform you to be a Holy person. and at the same time God will heal your wounds inside. And that’s what I learn and forgive so many people in my past.

God bless you.

 

[Limoncello4021]

We each are prone to certain sins, and it is a lifetime of struggle, often, to overcome them. No matter how devout we are, God often permits the urge to sin, or at least imperfections, to allow us to realize our weakness and thus continue to cling to Him. The saints were not dismayed by their faults but used them to get even closer to God once they pulled themselves back up. I’m not prone to anger, but am quite prone to impatience and it is often a real struggle to keep it in check. I realize that the deep root of impatience is often selfishness: I want what I want when I want it. Working on that!
To be honest, I’ve found it is even a physiological thing: when I am not eating right (eg too much sugar) or sleeping well, impatience can flare up.

 

[Dan_Defender]

A devout person I know (of) is prone to throwing such a wrath around her that I’m wondering if it’s actually God in “action” or her own psychological conflicts exploding out?

Kindly remind her to pray for the virtues of patience and self restraint. Conquering anger is a process.

 

[blackforest]

Translation: I think if someone believes in God they never sin.

No, that isn’t realistic.

I see where she’s going but think that the wording needs to be tweaked with a fine-tooth comb. Anger is one of the seven deadly sins not because the emotion is sinful in and of itself, but because it can lead people to do sinful things like hurting, belittling, gossiping about, or even abusing others.

So maybe it’s not a matter of “giving into” anger, as the OP worded it, so much as failing to keep it under control.