A faith-dead Catholic looking for help

  • Thread starter Thread starter Fishy.Walrus
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
F

Fishy.Walrus

Guest
Greetings friends in Christ!
So I am in a very strange predicament, and I hope you can bear with me here in my two part issue… I am a 21 y/o born and raised RC. In university, however, my actions decidedly did not reflect this. I attended Mass regularly, even getting involved in the choir. However, I lived in immorality. Not because I had any kind of anger against God, but because I found myself disagreeing with Teaching and acting as a way of expressing that.
Jump forward a bit and my friend of 4 years and I begin to get close. She attends Mass with me, and guides me to become a better and holier Catholic. 5 months ago, we begin dating and things only got better. She encouraged me to grow as I did her. In areas I am weak, she strengthens me and vice versa. However, in areas of morality, she and I would falter. This was because I still had (and have) my issues with the Teaching, and because she is a Protestant and had no issues with it. But every step of the way, she made sure that I was comfortable – she would not let me deny my own faith, even if she disagreed with it.
We have recently broken up and my heart is crushed as I truly felt I had found, if they can exist, my soul mate. In every aspect aside from faith, we fit together like a puzzle. And I know we were living immorally; I was, in fact, working up the courage to change that. However, before I could, she broke up with me. She could see I did not have the best relationship I could with God and implored that I grow in my Faith on my own. We remain good friends, as she feels the same way about me and doesn’t want to lose me from her life altogether.
So I have two issues with this whole thing. One; how can someone who so clearly disagrees with the Church in her Protestantism speak with the voice of the Holy Spirit in urging me to be better when she herself will not follow me though the course set out by the One True Church? It seems oxymoronical that that could happen… Whenever I tell her I have my doubts about our split, she tells me to trust in God and trust in her like she KNOWS she’s speaking with the voice of God… Can anyone explain this at all?
Secondly, now that I am trying (and awfully so, might I add) to be a better Catholic despite my doubts and uneases, I need some help with my prayer life. I have no prayer life whatsoever. I will pray when times are tough, and notice immediate responses from God (which, by the way, is what keeps me being a Christian). But outside of that, I have no prayer. Are there any recommendations for someone who has a horrible time forming new habits in building up my prayer life?
 
God ALONE is your soulmate. I say this because in a million years no one else will matter but Jesus since he is God. I know it hard to imagine but you will be forever alive in a million years from now. You and God.

As for prayer, the Rosary IS THE WEAPON. It is the ultimate prayer. Almost every Saint prayed the Rosary. It has 15 Promises. Unbeatable in rewards. They are as follows:
  1. Whoever shall faithfully serve me by the recitation of the Rosary, shall receive signal graces.
  2. I promise my special protection and the greatest graces to all those who shall recite the Rosary.
  3. The Rosary shall be a powerful armor against hell, it will destroy vice, decrease sin, and defeat heresies.
  4. It will cause virtue and good works to flourish; it will obtain for souls the abundant mercy of God; it will withdraw the heart of men from the love of the world and its vanities, and will lift them to the desire of eternal things. Oh, that souls would sanctify themselves by this means.
  5. The soul which recommends itself to me by the recitation of the Rosary shall not perish.
  6. Whoever shall recite the Rosary devoutly, applying himself to the consideration of its sacred mysteries, shall never be conquered and never overwhelmed by misfortune. God will not chastise him in His justice, he shall not perish by an unprovided death (unprepared for heaven). The sinner shall convert. The just shall grow in grace and become worthy of eternal life.
  7. Whoever shall have a true devotion for the Rosary shall not die without the sacraments of the Church.
  8. Those who are faithful to recite the Rosary shall have, during their life and at their death, the light of God and the plenitude of His graces; at the moment of death they shall participate in the merits of the saints in paradise.
  9. I shall deliver from purgatory those who have been devoted to the Rosary.
  10. The faithful children of the Rosary shall merit a high degree of glory in heaven.
  11. You shall obtain all you ask of me by the recitation of the Rosary.
  12. All those who propagate the holy Rosary shall be aided by me in their necessities.
  13. I have obtained from my Divine Son that all the advocates of the Rosary shall have for intercessors the entire celestial court during their life and at the hour of death.
  14. All who recite the Rosary are my sons, and brothers of my only son Jesus Christ.
  15. Devotion of my Rosary is a great sign of predestination.
 
God speaks through whatever method will get us to listen.

Your prayer life doesn’t need to be elaborate. I’d suggest finding the routine that works for you and then just stick with it. Ideally, give God the first few minutes of your day and the last couple of minutes before you sleep. It can be a spontaneous prayer from your heart or a set of prayers you like. The important thing is setting aside that time routinely - and it doesn’t have to be much - a couple of minutes, even as you’re getting dressed if you’re one of those rush-out-the-door-last-minute types. That routine will help you develop into something more with God, especially if you can find time to sprinkle a few seconds or minute or two into various parts of your day (walking between car/building, waiting in line, anywhere).
 
Bring all your weakness in faith and all your sins , all your problems with immorality to The foot of the cross. Ask Jesus to heal you. Go to confession.

Read St Augustine, he overcame struggles similar to yours . You not the only one to go thru this. Dont give up.
 
Fishy.Walrus said:
… Whenever I tell her I have my doubts about our split, she tells me to trust in God and trust in her like she KNOWS she’s speaking with the voice of God… Can anyone explain this at all?
Click to expand...
Firstly, I offer a prayer that your situation is resolved with least discomfort to you and your girlfriend. You are both young and trying to do what is right. For some one as old as I am that is true witness; and gives great hope for the future. Both of you continue to focus on Christ - He will carry you through to serve His purpose and will for your lives.

I have experience of a faithful non-catholic relationship. Your girlfriends advice for you to remain faithful to your Catholic faith seems very generous and mature despite her having very different theological views. You must pray that she comes to see the fullness of truth in the Catholic faith and embrace it - especially if she is to have a marriage relationship to you. Catholicism is demanding because it does not compromise on truth. For example: it requires any children bourne to be raised in the Catholic faith. Would a non-catholic mother accede to this? While a deep relationship is beautiful - it is also demanding on both. You must be very honest and open with your friend on these matters and accept an amicable separation if that is the outcome.

It has been complicated for you by past trangressions in relation to morality. You - as a Catholic - have access to the wonderful sacrament of reconciliation. When you confess and are absolved - you are forgiven. Dont look back - Christ said - Go, and sin no more!! Keep this in mind. As a Catholic - you are called to a higher standard and the responsibility is on you to lead your friend in purity, holiness and truth.

Finally;
Fishy.Walrus said:
now that I am trying (and awfully so, might I add) to be a better Catholic despite my doubts and uneases, I need some help with my prayer life.
Click to expand...
No! - you are trying and that itself is prayer. I see a young man “wrestling with God” - often in life we all do. Its as old as Jacob in the book of Genesis!! I cannot deny God because He has shown me His hand in my life. He has to you too! I am reminded of: Isaiah 41:10
do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid , for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.

Continue to pray, read scripture and avail of the miraculous sacraments of the Catholic faith - He truly holds us in the palm of His hand. He knows our troubles and as Christ says to Paul in 2 Cor 12 9: “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.”
 
First of all, you don’t need to work up courage to change an immoral situation. You need to know the reasons why you should follow the Lord, and then decide to follow Him. Be uncompromising.

Secondly, I’m not sure about remaining friends with her. I would suggest take a break from her and figure out why the Church is right. Have as your goal finding a Catholic wife and pray for your old girlfriend. Right now, she has her cake and is eating it too. She gets what she really needs, friendship and chastity. She also gets what she wants, which is to feel pious, though she is not. You get your heart broken and get to suffer and pine away. It’s not fair.

I suggest reading many inspirational Catholic books-- anything to do with defending the faith (apologetics)–and increasing in discipline.
 
Pray the rosary every day. Learn your faith, study, and defend it. It is true.
 
I didn’t 100% follow the OPs story. She was wanting to live immorally because she was a Protestant and had no problem with fornication?
 
To an extent. For her fornication implied the use of the sexual act in a whimsical or throw-away manner as opposed to within a committed relationship, and in my space of doubt I agreed. But it was a step she refused to take unless I was ok with it as well. She would not, and before I agreed did not, allow herself to make any sort of advancements as she did not want to endanger my beliefs.
 
People will let you down. Don’t depend on any one person too much, especially when making decisions about God and religion.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top