J
josephback
Guest
This fall I began going to college, after long delay. At the back of my head I always have this idea of evangelization, but am hesitant to actually commit to it. In addition to this, I had a major depressive breakdown some years back that may bar me from official missions or Church work. At the same time, letters have been coming in the mail with a common theme: missions and aid to the Church.
Now this could just be the time of year we’re in or someone selling a mailing list somewhere, but it haunts me. I have this love-hate relationship with God and religion. On good days I want to introduce people to the Word of God(the Person), and on bad days I act as though God is the enemy of all my hopes and dreams, whom one is obliged to withstand in pursuit of personal progress.
Now obviously if missions is my call I have a lot of growing to do, but the question is ever at the back of my mind. In English class the papers I’ve written up until now have taken a decidedly sermon like character. Part of the love-hate is inner turmoil and trying to suppress such tendencies: who wants or needs a preacher? On the other hand this is pretty much what interests me. Meanwhile I blither on toward a degree in something, though without taking out any loans as of yet. Has anyone been through a similar experience?
Now this could just be the time of year we’re in or someone selling a mailing list somewhere, but it haunts me. I have this love-hate relationship with God and religion. On good days I want to introduce people to the Word of God(the Person), and on bad days I act as though God is the enemy of all my hopes and dreams, whom one is obliged to withstand in pursuit of personal progress.
Now obviously if missions is my call I have a lot of growing to do, but the question is ever at the back of my mind. In English class the papers I’ve written up until now have taken a decidedly sermon like character. Part of the love-hate is inner turmoil and trying to suppress such tendencies: who wants or needs a preacher? On the other hand this is pretty much what interests me. Meanwhile I blither on toward a degree in something, though without taking out any loans as of yet. Has anyone been through a similar experience?