A Joy--A Sorrow --a non-Spiritual Husband

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Hello Friends–especially you wives out there who have husbands living in the world --not dedicated to living a Christian life.

It is most hard for me --I want to raise my children in the faith --and then have a husband with many addictions --pornography–alcohol–general wordliness and lack of direction, spirtual and otherwise. Of course I thought things would be different when we married 15 years ago but nothing has changed. Please brothers and sisters --keep me in your prayers. And let me hear any advice you have.

I am presently converting to the Catholic Faith. I don’t know whether to insist my family come with me to mass or to simply say this is where I am going…, and let them be --attending their Protestant non-denom Church, most likely anti-Catholic.

My husband is very open and opposed to sola scriptura which we have been reading/learning about.

We have been attending a wonderful Episcopal Church that we love. I wonder if and when I officially become a Catholic, what then?

Thank you dear friends for any replies.

God Bless~~
 
Oh Sparkle, How and where do I begin? I am a convert, just came into the Church this past Easter. I have been married for 18 years, to a husband that sounds similar to yours, except mine hates the Catholic Church and does not believe that one needs to go to any Church. My conversion almost resulted in his leaving, but when I was sent to Korea, he had to stay to look after the children. During my absence he had to run the house on his own and I guess he decided that I was worth something even though I was Catholic. There has been and continues to be turmoil but I have my Faith and my God’s hand to hold on to. I AM NOT NOR WILL I EVER AGAIN TRY TO DO THINGS BY MYSELF. It is a daily struggle but I put the situation in Gods hands and pray for the strength and wisdom and patience to get through one day at a time.

I would be more than willing to share some of my experiences with you, and leave them open for anyone else incase some of what I say may help anyone. I can’t change the choices I have made. But if some good can come of my mistakes by using them to help others, than may God give me the right words to say.
Pat
 
Would you becoming Catholic endanger your marriage? I think you should be very carefull
 
Thanks Dear Pat for your reply.

NO, I really don’t think my becoming Catholic could or would endanger my marriage or anything for that matter. How could it? It is the most true of any faith!!! I just really needed some advice on how to handle an unbeliever husband --or should I say one not “walking” or truly desiring righteousness. What a heartbreak it is.

Guess we wives can and should only watch out for ourselves, and be the best wives and moms and women we can, right?

God Bless~~~
 
Hi Sparkle, I was thinking about you yesterday, but have not had a chance to write. Was just wondering how things were going for you. You mentioned children, how old are yours? And what is your husbands reaction to your conversion?

My son is 14 and my daughter is 12. I was raised the daughter of baptist missionaries in South America. It took 36 years for me to finally find my way to THE CHURCH! I have been married for 18 years. When my husband and I got married God, church, anything to do with religion was the furthest thing from our minds. I was running away from Him, or was trying to.

Well, when I finally reached rock bottom and began my journey back, my husband was not pleased, infact he was furious. Our marriage has never been a good one, he had a really bad drinking problem and was abusive. But for some reason I wanted to keep trying to make the marriage work. Now, all he sees of the Catholic Church and of our most wonderful Faith he is seeing from me. It is a huge responsibility and not one that I take lightly, nor one that I will even think about doing on my own. For I know that I can’t. But that’s what God is for, that’s what our Faith is all about. It a lot easier to love him when I try to see Jesus in him, somewhere. I have to look hard sometimes, but with prayer I can do it.

I’ll hush now,
Pat
 
My spouse and I were both “cafeteria” Catholics when we first met 8 years ago. In the past six months, I’ve grown a lot spiritually. I still have a very long way to go. Being as unselfish and caring and loving as possible has made the biggest difference. I’ve also placed a "green scapular (in plain sight) on my husband’s side of our bookcase bedframe. (green scapular for conversion of men). Using NFP has certainly helped our marriage more than you could ever know. I also try to say the rosary every night. Yes my husband and I are both “cradle” Catholics, but sometimes need a nudge from up above.:love:
 
May God bless all of you holy women out there struggling with this heartbreak. You are true martyrs. You are both the heads and the hearts of your families. We pray that God gives you the strength to bear this heavy weight joyfully and that he uses your love to convert the hearts of all those around you.
 
Hi Friends that have replied to this post!!!

Thank you so much for your replies! It’s just so much of a daily battle to have a husband so involved in “the world” and so little seeking the Faith! It’s a trial every day!!! I’m afraid I’m the “witch mom” because of all I forbid --R movies, (kids are all under 18), and insisting they all come to Church with me)…but these are my convictions, etc., even though hubby doesn’t seem to have many convictions period. I am so sad over this.

Also, I am very heartbroken at his “looking at other women constantly” everywhere we go --his eyes are roaming–it’s sickening. And especially he looks at such young ones–teens --20’s. We’re in our late 30’s --come on! I have constant dreams of other women taking my husband away–or just being there. I have thought of going to see a Priest, but what could they do, except encourage me to keep plugging away! I feel sometimes my confidence is very low, even though I’m very attractive, as people have said. I’m more the “pearls and sweater-set type” not the sleezy type, which he seems to gaze at --I feel so down when my precious husband is so influenced in worldliness. I want so much to have a Godly husband! Do any of you women have similar concerns?

Thanks for listening!
 
I suggest you say the Rosary everyday at least 5 decades, and maybe the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, not all at once but you could break it up through the day.
 
Hi Sparkle,

I can defintely identify with you. I left the Church 30 years ago, with the help of my then boyfirend, who became my husband. The Church was so benighted, we knew much better. Well, 4 years ago, after inching my way back, I am back. Back with 2 children raised as agnostics, and a husband who, if he has a God, it is invisible.

This was a hard thing to confess, and even harder to let go of, and accept God’s forgiveness. Now i have to live a life in witness. I have to show, without preaching, what it means to have God in your life. i have to get up for Mass, i have to dress modestly, i have to conduct our intimate life according to the Church’s teaching, i have to let my grown sons know what i think about sex before marriage. Not eeasy, so infinitely better than not having come back.

God can work miracles of conversion. It was no more likely that he could do it with me, than that he could do it with my husband and children. Pray and give witness. Things are transformed, tho not lways visibly or in the time frame we wish for.

God bless you and give you strength. You have many siblings in Christ!
 
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sparkle:
Hello Friends–especially you wives out there who have husbands living in the world --not dedicated to living a Christian life.

It is most hard for me --I want to raise my children in the faith --and then have a husband with many addictions --pornography–alcohol–general wordliness and lack of direction, spirtual and otherwise. Of course I thought things would be different when we married 15 years ago but nothing has changed. Please brothers and sisters --keep me in your prayers. And let me hear any advice you have.

I am presently converting to the Catholic Faith. I don’t know whether to insist my family come with me to mass or to simply say this is where I am going…, and let them be --attending their Protestant non-denom Church, most likely anti-Catholic.

My husband is very open and opposed to sola scriptura which we have been reading/learning about.

We have been attending a wonderful Episcopal Church that we love. I wonder if and when I officially become a Catholic, what then?

Thank you dear friends for any replies.

God Bless~~
Click to expand...
 
Hello,

Isn’t it always difficult to have spouses who are spiritually indifferent? I have good news for you.

First, we who are Catholic, need to go to confession. Often. Very week. Secondly, get a monastery to pray for you and your spouse.

One of the first things you will notice will be Jesus sayings about the vineyard: How God trims the vine to produce more fruit. The vine he will trim is you-- not your spouse, so be prepared and thank God.

Continue to go to confession, daily Mass, fast, pray. I don’t know if your spouse will become Catholic, but God’s peace will be with you. In my case, my husband became a Catholic after 20 years of marriage. It’s a miracle. I don’t know how it happened, except that the nuns prayed before the Blessed Sacrament for my husband and me. Thank God, Almighty.
 
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