A Personal Account of a Single Catholic Woman Telling of Her Vocation Confusion and Fear

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Excellent, excellent article. It shines a light on the bullying that sometimes goes on in spiritual direction and in “encouragement” from well-meaning people who think that they have a better handle on someone else’s vocation than the person does himself/herself. Jesus said that He calls us friends, not slaves, but many have forgotten the freedom that goes along with following Him. It’s painfully sad when young faithful Catholics try to force themselves into one of the “Big Three” vocations like trying to fit into a shoe that is four sizes too small (or too big). Jesus’ yoke is easy—i.e. well-fitting. Sometimes we’re not called to do anything but wait quietly, and trust relentlessly that God will make His will perfectly clear…and will never stop loving us even when we make mistakes.
 
She sounds to me like she really does have a vocation to marriage, not the religious life. She just happens to have the misfortune of growing up in a time when marriage is at a nadir of popularity. Her generation is fearful of it, distrustful of it, and doubtful that a potential spouse will take the vows of permanence, love, and fidelity with ultimate seriousness. We are probably due for a return to the practice of arranged marriages, which would likely have a better outcome. In the meantime, millenials should look up the old “exhortation before marriage” that used to be part of the marriage rite, consider it phrase by phrase, and try to find someone who would take it seriously.
 
I would also like to add that the religious vocation is a positive call. It is not a fall back position for people who were not able to get married.
 
She is already actively living the most important vocation of all, Christian laywoman (or man).

Her SD needs to face up to that and give her proper support.

I went to one of those “vocational assemblies” and I “responded” (by going “up”) knowing full well that layman is the most important of them.

Lo and behold my “answer” came later in the guise of “words” forming in my “mind’s ear”, “Christian layman”.

If you are a layman or woman, you can incidentally:
  • become married as well,
  • become clergy or religious instead.
 
Sarcelle said:
I would also like to add that the religious vocation is a positive call. It is not a fall back position for people who were not able to get married.
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Something that her spiritual director (if her account is accurate) seems to have trouble understanding.

A vocation can never be something chosen faute de mieux.
 
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