a prayer request for my brother

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justawhisper

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this is the story:

my brother has been with his now wife for about 7 years, only 2 married. the relationship was not good and stable for years prior to marriage, we believe they stayed together because they were “comfortable” with each other. my sister-in-law is not a mentally stable person, it’s hard to imagine him holding her up all the time. anyways, she got pregnant, so they decided to get married.

she has a lengthy past of commiting adultry through these last 2 years. about 2 weeks ago, she confessed to him what all she has done and, out of shock value, described each encounter to him in detail. (she’s sick.) several things have happened prior to this, her abusing him mentally, emotionally, and has physically attacked him on more than one occassion. so needless to say this almost completely broke him. in these last weeks, he has delt with it. he loves her. he wants to make this marriage work. he also does not want his son to be from a broken home, which isnt looking so good right now.

apparently, last night, they were talking about what he has done. one woman, 6 years ago, literally jumped on his lap at work with no shirt on and pressed herself against him. he came out with that to her, because she knew of that situation, but never got the whole story. he told her the truth. she pushed and pushed for hours wether or not he had sex with her. he didnt, but he finally broke down and said “yeah”. he thought it would make her just drop it and move on, at the time he didnt care, or even think about the next day, he was under the inflluene at the time. so was she. she is a very twisted and manipulative individual. she was trying to get inside of his head and convince him that he did do it. well, she definately got inside and now he is completely shattered. i am 600 miles away from him, i cant exactly go down there to be with him, and none of our family is remotely close to where he lives, about 300 miles away from him. this isnt good. he has made the comment of ending it all, to me. he wont speak with our mother about this, only me. he does not know what to do now. he has called her over 80 times today pleading with her to believe him, that he didnt do it, he said he did to appease her… like i said, he was not in a sober state when he admitted to this thing he didnt do. she’s now speaking to him as if he were a lunatic, and says that he needs help, dont call her back until he is ready to admit that he really did do it, and that he’s lying to make himself look better. she is convinced that he is just in denial. he called her while i was on yahoo voice conference so i could hear one of the calls. she speaks to him like he is a patient in a mental ward.

he shouldnt have lied to begin with. i dont see how he is going to come out on top of this. he thought that it would just bring it all to an end, she would just shut up and she heard what she wanted to hear. that is his justification.

so i have my brother talkign to me about how he is really considering swallowing an entire bottle of pills, but he has a son, thats the only thing keeping him breathing at this point, in his words. i feel horrible for him, and helpless i cant do anything to change anything, or say something that will make it ok. he claims he just doesnt know how to go on like this, and for someone to think that he slept with that woman when he really didnt. i have been saying prayers for him over and over. i have pleaded with him. im just so scared that she is going to finally push him over the edge to where he may attempt something, he is not well. i dont believe he will take his life, but there is always that chance nipping at me in the back of my mind. i have the right mind to call her myself, not to fight, but to talk to her about how she needs to just let off of him. but i dont feel like that would be such a good idea to get tied up in their fights, it may make things even worse.

its all been such a terrible situation for the past several years, they are destroying each other. God does not seem to play any integral part in their lives. all i know is that they were married in a methodist church. they do not attend church. my brother only in the last few years has finally realized there really is a God.

divorce is in their future plans.

im not really asking for advice here, though i am not rejecting it either. im requesting prayer for this delima, that they can work this out, and have peace in their lives. relief from this situation, and for them to allow God into their lives, i know this would solve alot of problems they have, as it stands. it hurts my heart so see and to know that my brother is suffering from this predicament. please say a prayer for him
 
Hi.
I had a cousin in a similar situation. His wife cheated on him and lead him to think he was the one at fault. They were sperated and he was handed down a ruling by the courts to pay x amount of dollars for child support. Not seeing his kids, the financial burden, and mental stress lead him to take his life. He was on anti-depression pills and hard liquor when he did it, so we believe it was not the real him that took his life. Unfortunately, someone that is depressed and on drugs or intoxicated can take actions they wouldn’t do if they were sober. We believe she drove him to his death, and she knew he was going to do it.

Depending on how evil your sister-in-law is, I would advise you feel her out and make sure she isn’t purposely trying to have him committ suicide. We all know how evil people can be when the devil is in them. Tell your brother better days are ahead and it just takes time to heal. God says, at times we must suffer first. Whoever cares about him should console him and keep him positive, and if she countines to make him suffer, he should keep away.

I pray for your brother, but I pray more for his wife.
 
justawhisper said:
this is the story:

my brother has been with his now wife for about 7 years, only 2 married. the relationship was not good and stable for years prior to marriage, we believe they stayed together because they were “comfortable” with each other. my sister-in-law is not a mentally stable person, it’s hard to imagine him holding her up all the time. anyways, she got pregnant, so they decided to get married.

she has a lengthy past of commiting adultry through these last 2 years. about 2 weeks ago, she confessed to him what all she has done and, out of shock value, described each encounter to him in detail. (she’s sick.) several things have happened prior to this, her abusing him mentally, emotionally, and has physically attacked him on more than one occassion. so needless to say this almost completely broke him. in these last weeks, he has delt with it. he loves her. he wants to make this marriage work. he also does not want his son to be from a broken home, which isnt looking so good right now.

apparently, last night, they were talking about what he has done. one woman, 6 years ago, literally jumped on his lap at work with no shirt on and pressed herself against him. he came out with that to her, because she knew of that situation, but never got the whole story. he told her the truth. she pushed and pushed for hours wether or not he had sex with her. he didnt, but he finally broke down and said “yeah”. he thought it would make her just drop it and move on, at the time he didnt care, or even think about the next day, he was under the inflluene at the time. so was she. she is a very twisted and manipulative individual. she was trying to get inside of his head and convince him that he did do it. well, she definately got inside and now he is completely shattered. i am 600 miles away from him, i cant exactly go down there to be with him, and none of our family is remotely close to where he lives, about 300 miles away from him. this isnt good. he has made the comment of ending it all, to me. he wont speak with our mother about this, only me. he does not know what to do now. he has called her over 80 times today pleading with her to believe him, that he didnt do it, he said he did to appease her… like i said, he was not in a sober state when he admitted to this thing he didnt do. she’s now speaking to him as if he were a lunatic, and says that he needs help, dont call her back until he is ready to admit that he really did do it, and that he’s lying to make himself look better. she is convinced that he is just in denial. he called her while i was on yahoo voice conference so i could hear one of the calls. she speaks to him like he is a patient in a mental ward.

he shouldnt have lied to begin with. i dont see how he is going to come out on top of this. he thought that it would just bring it all to an end, she would just shut up and she heard what she wanted to hear. that is his justification.

so i have my brother talkign to me about how he is really considering swallowing an entire bottle of pills, but he has a son, thats the only thing keeping him breathing at this point, in his words. i feel horrible for him, and helpless i cant do anything to change anything, or say something that will make it ok. he claims he just doesnt know how to go on like this, and for someone to think that he slept with that woman when he really didnt. i have been saying prayers for him over and over. i have pleaded with him. im just so scared that she is going to finally push him over the edge to where he may attempt something, he is not well. i dont believe he will take his life, but there is always that chance nipping at me in the back of my mind. i have the right mind to call her myself, not to fight, but to talk to her about how she needs to just let off of him. but i dont feel like that would be such a good idea to get tied up in their fights, it may make things even worse.

its all been such a terrible situation for the past several years, they are destroying each other. God does not seem to play any integral part in their lives. all i know is that they were married in a methodist church. they do not attend church. my brother only in the last few years has finally realized there really is a God.

divorce is in their future plans.

im not really asking for advice here, though i am not rejecting it either. im requesting prayer for this delima, that they can work this out, and have peace in their lives. relief from this situation, and for them to allow God into their lives, i know this would solve alot of problems they have, as it stands. it hurts my heart so see and to know that my brother is suffering from this predicament. please say a prayer for him
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Ask and ye shall receive. My prayers with you.
 
Will pray.

Is there any saint that you recall seems to have been particularly effective for your brother?

Is there anything about your brother that might make a particular saint appropriate - such as if he has a patron?
 
Praying for your brother’s situation.
Apparently he was drinking and so was his wife, and they discussed past affairs in that condition, and she persuaded him to admit to something that he didn’t do.
Now she won’t believe it wasn’t true, and he feels terrible, possibly suicidal.

They have a child. Your brother needs to think first of his son, and get some help immediately. Scaring everyone with threats of suicide is counterproductive. Ask him to call a local suicide hotline if he is serious. They can put him in touch with a counselor, which is what he needs.
These people need to put their son’s needs before their own. If the wife is unable to because of mental illness, the father needs to.
All through life we encounter people who despise or dislike us, for whatever reason. We cannot let others’ attitudes determine our own self worth.
I pray that your brother will get the help he needs to remain strong.
 
“he shouldnt have lied to begin with. i dont see how he is going to come out on top of this. he thought that it would just bring it all to an end, she would just shut up and she heard what she wanted to hear. that is his justification”

What you said above, made me think of years ago when I was friends with a therapist. She told me,when a friend of mine wanted to commit suicide, that suicidal people do not think there is any other options but death. What they really want is ‘death’ to the situation,but they can not imagine a change. According to you,either can you. That is normal. My friend told me to start thinking of options for my friend,brainstorm new better situations for him and discuss it to with him. Tell him he doesn’t want to die,rather wants this whole situation with this woman to end.They both sound addicted to eachother. Addictions is not love. What is he afraid of when he thinks of not being with her? I am sure you know that when we face our fears, God gives us the window out.But we have to take it. It sounds like you both are doing the blame game,and coming from deep emotions.This is also so human. We all do this is crisis.
It certainly wouldn’t hurt to try what I suggest. And with God’s grace and ALOT of pray it may even help. I wish I could tell you more. I feel your pain and his. I was in this type of a relationship and marriage for many years.
I will pray for you all.
jollyoki
 
Dear justawhisper

She does sounds like an awful and abusive wife, clearly she is dangerous to his mental and spiritual wellbeing. How is she treating their mutual son? Anyway I have little advice to give, but will be praying for him and his family.

God bless you
TL
 
I hope I did not offend you with giving some advice. I just thought because I was in a very similar situation and he is soooo desperate I want so much to help in any way I could if I could,prayer, my own experiences,which like I stated were very similar to your brothers,I was in that kind of relationship and wished I would die. And I had a friend who really meant it…to commit suicide. I would not of given any advice if it didn’t sound so desperate…“Suicide.”. Please forgive me for giving advice.
She does sound very abusive. She is like poison to your brother. People coming from evil always are…as a good priest told me.
Of course you have my prayers.
jollyoki
 
This is a March 2007 thread that apparently has been raised again without update, but if for some reason God wishes prayer for these people, may God grant many graces to them
 
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