A Priest preparing a couple for marriage? What credibility does he have?

[FriendlySkeptic]

My friend will be marrying his girlfriend this summer. They’ve started marriage preparation meetings with their priest. I’ve met their priest once. Seems like a nice guy.

According to my friend, because this is a small parish, there aren’t any married couples to assist the priest. In other words, the priest will be doing all of the classes, including the topics of relationships, sex, and NFP.

But what does a never-married celibate know about marriage? What credibility does he or ANY priest have preparing couples for marriage?

 

[Phil_Marinus]

My friend will be marrying his girlfriend this summer. They’ve started marriage preparation meetings with their priest. I’ve met their priest once. Seems like a nice guy.

According to my friend, because this is a small parish, there aren’t any married couples to assist the priest. In other words, the priest will be doing all of the classes, including the topics of relationships, sex, and NFP.

But what does a never-married celibate know about marriage? What credibility does he or ANY priest have preparing couples for marriage?

What does anyone know of these things… when you think you understand it all…your Wrong.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

My friend will be marrying his girlfriend this summer. They’ve started marriage preparation meetings with their priest. I’ve met their priest once. Seems like a nice guy.

According to my friend, because this is a small parish, there aren’t any married couples to assist the priest. In other words, the priest will be doing all of the classes, including the topics of relationships, sex, and NFP.

But what does a never-married celibate know about marriage? What credibility does he or ANY priest have preparing couples for marriage?

Ok, I’m going to preface this by saying that I am against using the counsel of priests (for counseling sessions) and other non-professional counselors in cases of mental disorders, abuse, and addiction.

But for things like premarital counseling? Sure. First off, you wouldn’t know if your secular counselor was married/celibate/gay/asexual/promiscuous/whatever. Secondly, most of premarital counseling focuses on what marriage is and what the expectations are and forming plans to deal with future problems. Priests are trained in this sort of thing, and they are able to guide the couple in accordance with their unique beliefs and values.

 

[Nacho45]

I was shocked when I learned the amount if training and education priests get for just this sort of thing.

 

[jonathan_hili]

Hi, Friendly Skeptic.

I think priests would ostensibly be very knowledgeable in many areas concerned with Catholic marriage, in particular, the theological (sacramental) nature of marriage. Christians entering into marriage are not simply entering into a contract or voluntary exchange of vows, but rather a unique relationship between God and themselves. In this respect, a priest can guide a couple into understanding how God and they are related through marriage and how to best nurture this relationship.

With regards to NFP, etc. the priest may be trained in that area (after all, priests often have a specialisation), but if not, it would be good for the couple to speak to a professional. Nevertheless, the priest can again touch on the theological aspects of human sexuality.

 

[Softly]

The same credibility that a male obstetrician has.

 

[Celtic_Maiden]

I have often gone to a male Doctor with a Woman’s problem, what would a male know of a woman’s problem, but he has studied about it, and with his dealings with women has gained more experience. This is the same as the Priest.

 

[Gordon_Sims]

But what does a never-married celibate know about marriage? What credibility does he or ANY priest have preparing couples for marriage?

What validity does any counselor have who hasn’t experienced the exact thing for which you’re being counseled? In addition to the courses he took on it while in the seminary, our priest has taken classes and gone to workshops on marriage and pre-marriage counseling every year since then. He also has years of practical, on-the-job experience and feedback. Should I trust his advice more than Uncle Dwayne with his three failed marriages? Ol’ Dwayne’s clearly got him trumped in the practical experience category.

 

[ChurchSoldier]

Between the training he receives in school and the first six months in parish ministry dealing with the brokeness of a fallen humanity, often presenting itself as brokeness within families, I would say most priests are pretty well equipped to provide counsel.

That said I think it is often a good idea for the priest to refer much of it out to civilian Catholic / Christian counselors. Mostly due to the priest shortage and usefulness of time.

 

[Loving_disciple]

My friend will be marrying his girlfriend this summer. They’ve started marriage preparation meetings with their priest. I’ve met their priest once. Seems like a nice guy.

According to my friend, because this is a small parish, there aren’t any married couples to assist the priest. In other words, the priest will be doing all of the classes, including the topics of relationships, sex, and NFP.

But what does a never-married celibate know about marriage? What credibility does he or ANY priest have preparing couples for marriage?

They have lots of education in these kind of things. Also they can see things from a more outside view and can give a clear opinion on things.

 

[1ke]

But what does a never-married celibate know about marriage? What credibility does he or ANY priest have preparing couples for marriage?

This is a logical fallacy. Why do you believe a person must have personal experience with something in order to give good counsel? A man can be an OB/GYN even though he does not have a uterus or the ability to have babies, a psychologist can treat a schizophrenic even though he/she is not one, a counselor can counse a couple whether he/she has ever been married, a therapist can help a rape victim even though they have not been raped.

And the list goes on.

Priests are people who have grown up in a family, just like everyon else. Priests are trained in theology and in psychology and counseling. Priests are emminently qualified to prepare people for the sacrament of marriage just as they are qualified to prepare people for every other sacrament.

Please come back with a question based in reality, not a logical fallacy.

 

[L_Marshall]

This is a logical fallacy. Why do you believe a person must have personal experience with something in order to give good counsel? A man can be an OB/GYN even though he does not have a uterus or the ability to have babies, a psychologist can treat a schizophrenic even though he/she is not one, a counselor can counse a couple whether he/she has ever been married, a therapist can help a rape victim even though they have not been raped.

And the list goes on.

Priests are people who have grown up in a family, just like everyon else. Priests are trained in theology and in psychology and counseling. Priests are emminently qualified to prepare people for the sacrament of marriage just as they are qualified to prepare people for every other sacrament.

Please come back with a question based in reality, not a logical fallacy.

This is one of the most well-written examples on this topic I’ve seen in a long time. Kudos.

 

[agapewolf]

My friend will be marrying his girlfriend this summer. They’ve started marriage preparation meetings with their priest. I’ve met their priest once. Seems like a nice guy.

According to my friend, because this is a small parish, there aren’t any married couples to assist the priest. In other words, the priest will be doing all of the classes, including the topics of relationships, sex, and NFP.

But what does a never-married celibate know about marriage? What credibility does he or ANY priest have preparing couples for marriage?

Read JPII. He knows more about marriage and women thank anyone who is married, or who is a woman.

Hearing confessions can give great perspective.

 

[EasterJoy]

A priest is not a single man taken off of the street. He is a physician of the soul, chosen and trained to dispense the sacraments, including marriage.

 

[Xantippe]

Also, it’s a very structured process.

When my husband and I did premarital counseling with our priest, we each answered a long questionnaire separately. Then the priest analyzed discrepancies in our questionnaires and possible problem areas and we spent our next several sessions talking through it. It was a great experience. We didn’t hit every single problem area we ever encountered, but it was very helpful.

Possible problem areas would be if one prospective spouse expects to have five kids and the other expects to have none–that sort of thing.