A problem about Ash Wednesday

[Mommyof02green]

I saw that in the AAA forum and must say that it was one of my rare disagreements for the very reason that it seemed to me not to address the deliberate waste of food.

I see your point…really I do…
However the OP mention this is a “company” affair.

What do you think is going to happen to all the “uneat food” that was NOT put on peoples plates?

Just some “food” for thought?

 

[MariaG]

Seems simple enough to me. Why let embarrassment stop you from witnessing for Christ. You don’t have to be ashamed about it.
I doubt anyone will even notice if you eat or not.

One should not assume that it is embarrassment that stops one from telling all about their fast.

 

[mlchance]

Earlier today, I told my students about the OP’s situation and asked what the OP’s options were. My class of 10-year-olds decided that the OP could:

1. Skip breakfast and eat lunch.
2. Eat breakfast and a collation during the lunch, and skip dinner.
3. Just tell people, “It’s Ash Wednesday. I’m Catholic. I’m fasting today.”

Not a single one suggested the OP lie about the why. From the mouths of babes, et cetera.

– Mark L. Chance.

 

[Lucania]

“No thank you, today is Ash Wednesday and I am observing a fast.”

I like this simple straight forward approach. People will either leave it at that or ask questions, in that case you have an opportunity to teach someone something they did not know about the Catholic faith.

 

[Em_in_FL]

Hmmm I’m reading two very different responses that both make sense…

1. Evangalize and talk about your faith… keep the fast obvious.
2. Eat lightly, observing the fast discretely and follow what Christ told us in Matt 6:16-18… so that we don’t “brag” (per se) about our fasting…

Hmmm… I’m not sure which approach I’d take!

 

[MariaG]

Hmmm I’m reading two very different responses that both make sense…

1. Evangalize and talk about your faith… keep the fast obvious.
2. Eat lightly, observing the fast discretely and follow what Christ told us in Matt 6:16-18… so that we don’t “brag” (per se) about our fasting…

Hmmm… I’m not sure which approach I’d take!

Which ever one the Holy Spirit prompts you to

 

[JKirkLVNV]

Again, why lie? What is so hard about saying, “I’m Catholic. It’s Ash Wednesday. I’m fasting today.”?

– Mark L. Chance.

Our Lord said that when we fasted we were not announce it.

Why not simply say,“No thank you, I don’t care for anything,” if pressed? Just keep repeating it.

 

[mlchance]

Our Lord said that when we fasted we were not announce it.

Actually what Jesus said was to not make a great show of fasting, as if the act of fasting itself merited us any sort of special attention, consideration, or privilege. It’s no secret that Catholics fast on Ash Wednesday; neither are Catholics required to pretend we’re not Catholic, nor resort to pretense to hide what is common knowledge.

Why not simply say,“No thank you, I don’t care for anything,” if pressed? Just keep repeating it.

Sure.

– Mark L. Chance.

 

[StevenFrancis]

I’ve always observed the Ash Wednesday fast & abstinence and do not have a casual attitude to it, so I’m in a dilemma about this coming one.

In my workplace, the boss has organised a celebratory “morning tea” to celebrate our department’s “restructuring”, and various ex-staff members and suppliers have been invited. It doesn’t involve alcohol, but does mean there will be a lot of very nice and festive food.
And it would be on Ash WednesdayI
I don’t want to be there!! I certainly don’t want to break the fast (which, I understand, means not eating between meals). I wouldn’t be tempted by the food, but what sort of an idiot would I seem if I didn’t participate? Not to mention people getting at me every few minutes to eat this or that!
I guess some here (or all) would announce to others by way of explanation that it is Ash Wednesday and I’m fasting, but there isn’t anyone else there who is a Catholic, or even a Christian that knows about Ash Wednesday, so I would be seen as a religious nutter.

OK, I could call in sick to avoid it, but that would be lying.

So, what would you do??? Any bright ideas?

Thanks! (I’m off to bed, BTW, so if I don’t respond, I will some time late tomorrow)

Remember we’re to profess our faith loud and clear, and witness whenever we have a chance, but I know in the real world it doesn’t always end up working that way. What about just fixing a modest plate, (with no meat), and making that a small meal? Forego breakfast or some such thing? This sounds like a lot ado over very little really. Whatever you do, do it with a well intentioned heart. Are these vehement anti-Catholics? Would your job be in danger if you were a Christian? I guess I just don’t really get it. Anyway…good luck, and Peace,

 

[StevenFrancis]

Who cares if people think you’re a religious nut? Their opinion of you means NOTHING compared to God’s opnion of you. Do not be ashamed of Him and do not prefer the praise of mere worldly mortals.

As Pope Leo XIII said:

Truly, he who disdains the worthless judgments of the mob, who prefers to undergo the scourging of insults rather than abandon duty in any matter, proves himself to be of a far greater and exalted spirit

True humilty involves not being ashamed of your faith. Remember, whoever denies Jesus before men will be denied by Him before the Father.

Likewise, this is a good opportunity to share your faith. If people ask, explain to them why we fast and do penance. Who knows, you may plant some seeds.

If you feel worried, pray this prayer before entering:

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart,
Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being loved,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being extolled,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being honored,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being praised,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being preferred to others,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being consulted,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being approved,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being humiliated,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being despised,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of suffering rebukes,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being calumniated,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being forgotten,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being ridiculed,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being wronged,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being suspected,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be chosen and I set aside,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be praised and I go unnoticed,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be preferred to me in everything,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may become holier than I,
provided that I may become as holy as I should,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

Oh yeah…and there’s this too.

Peace,

 

[ATeNumquam]

Thanks for all these thoughts and replies.

The obvious conclusion is that I should witness to my faith.
Those posters who assumed it was embarrasment that would be a problem - well not entirely! It was what Our Lord said about not displaying fasting that was the main problem. Which is why I, personally, would not make a display of the ashes.

So, I guess I have a few options to think about - I think perhaps I’ll make that breakfast and lunch rolled into one (and even then, participating frugally)

But I might just not eat.

Sorry if this seemed a dilemma to those for whom it was so straighforward. I guess a lot of things are not black and white for me, which I guess makes me a “cafeteria Catholic” in some peoples’ eyes.

I am grateful for all your thoughts!

 

[rayne89]

I would not sat I’m on a diet or anything that denies the real reason. I also wouldn’t go out of my way to draw attention to it either. Have some tea without sugar or skip breakfast and eat light at the tea. If someone questions you simply state “It’s Ash Wednesday and I fasting.” Then change the subject and be very upbeat. The reason why I say don’t draw attention to it is exactly because of the bible quote mentioned “When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites. They neglect their appearance, so that they may appear to others to be fasting. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.” But don’t make up a reason either.
I’ve dealt with this many times in the past. It seems Friday’s during lent seems to be the favorite day for our managers to buy lunch for everyone. When I’m in charge of ordering the food I make sure there is a non-meat option. When someone else orders I’ll eat whatever doesn’t have meat. If someone asks, I simply say it’s Friday and I don’t eat meat on Fridays during lent.
I’ve also got “There’s some dirt on your forehead,” on Ash Wednesday quite often. To which I simply reply “It’s ashes for Ash Wednesday.”
No one has ever looked at me like a religious nut. I’ve given up meat for the entire part of lent before and while I never drew attention to it, if some one asked I just explained.
Do not hide your faith and do not be embarressed. Don’t going around broadcasting either, that is when people think your trying to look overly pious.

 

[rwoehmke]

Being allowed one full meal is an out. No one says you have to eat meat and no one says your full meal must be started and finished in half an hour. No breakfast at home, light meal in the morning at the office, a full meal, possibly consisting of snack items, stretched over a period of time, maybe an hour and a half, another light meal either in between or after the full meal which is defined by quantity and not content. Remember that some meals consist of more than one course and last over several hours. You can within reason set when the meal starts and when it ends. Obviously a snack every half hour or so through the day would be defeating the purpose. You could eat your three meals at the office with no one the wiser or if questioned simply say "My Faith restricts how much and what I can eat on some days of the year and let it go at that. If some of your office mates were Muslims I am sure they would have no problem explaining why they are not eating.

 

[MariaG]

Thanks for all these thoughts and replies.

The obvious conclusion is that I should witness to my faith.
Those posters who assumed it was embarrasment that would be a problem - well not entirely! It was what Our Lord said about not displaying fasting that was the main problem. Which is why I, personally, would not make a display of the ashes.

So, I guess I have a few options to think about - I think perhaps I’ll make that breakfast and lunch rolled into one (and even then, participating frugally)

But I might just not eat.

Sorry if this seemed a dilemma to those for whom it was so straighforward. I guess a lot of things are not black and white for me, which I guess makes me a “cafeteria Catholic” in some peoples’ eyes.

I am grateful for all your thoughts!

I personally don’t find it straight forward at all, nor do I think you are a “cafeteria Catholic”.

But then I too struggle with this EVERY year. Leave the ashes on my forehead for my private fast, or leave them there and witness to the truth.

Frankly, the answer for me varies year by year depending on my own personal attitude. Some years, I feel it is necessary to keep it very private between God and I because I am feeling confrontational rather than humble and it would not be a good witness for Christ. Most years, I witness to the truth through the ashes.

 

[darc]

A friend from another forum forwarded me something about this type of situation. Well, the situation of “shame of the Son of Man”.

It really helped me realize that I shouldn’t be “afraid” to speak of my practices, if asked about them or actually DO them in public. Our discussion was in the context of saying grace & crossing oneself when out eating.

Here’s an excerpt, I hate to just cut & paste when the article’s longer than 2 paragraphs.

Mark 8:38

For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed, when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.

Readers of C.S. Lewis’s Screwtape Letters will remember the demon Wormwood’s attempt to damn his patient by acquainting him with “just the sort of people we want him to know – rich, smart, superficially intellectual, and brightly sceptical about everything in the world.” The senior devil Screwtape wants to make capital out of the tactical situation:

Tell me more. Did he commit himself deeply? I don’t mean in words. There is a subtle play of looks and tones and laughs by which a Mortal can imply that he is of the same party is those to whom he is speaking. That is the kind of betrayal you should specially encourage, because the man does not fully realise it himself; and by the time he does you will have made withdrawal difficult.

No doubt he must very soon realise that his own faith is in direct opposition to the assumptions on which all the conversation of his new friends is based. I don’t think that matters much provided that you can persuade him to postpone any open acknowledgment of the fact, and this, with the aid of shame, pride, modesty and vanity, will be easy to do. As long as the postponement lasts he will be in a false position.** He will be silent when he ought to speak and laugh when he ought to be silent. He will assume, at first only by his manner, but presently by his words, all sorts of cynical and sceptical attitudes which are not really his. But if you play him well, they may become his. All mortals tend to turn into the thing they are pretending to be.**

So yes, the convenient & comfortable thing to do would be to prevaricate. But shouldn’t we accept the “uncomfortable” in order to be true to our feelings about God? Who knows, your action to speak truthfully could be the spark that another in the group needed to start their journey. While some may mock, there will be others who think about & admire the strength it took to speak the truth.

 

[InTheWilderness]

I would suggest using this as one of the meals for the day, if that is possible. In that way you would be able to enjoy the company function and properly observe Ash Wednesday.

 

[ATeNumquam]

I would suggest using this as one of the meals for the day, if that is possible. In that way you would be able to enjoy the company function and properly observe Ash Wednesday.

This is how I feel, too.

I don’t think it would be appropriate for me to roll up to an office function of some formality, to which suppliers and others have been invited, and focus attention on MYSELF by wearing ashes and telling people who ask that it is Ash Wednesday. It’s just not the right occasion, and in a way, it would be rude to my bosses as well as ostentatious (to my way of thinking), because for everyone else it’s a celebration . An ordinary working day would be another matter, because I could explain about the ashes in a more low-key way.
And, although it may be well known in the US that Catholics fast on Ash Wednesday, in this country it is not generally known. A good thing indeed to inform and educate people, but not right there and then, for the reasons I’ve given above.
BTW, those who say that if I were a Muslim observing Ramadan I’d be respected for fasting are absolutely right. Christians in this more secular country than the US often lament that we are shown a good deal less respect and tolerance than people of other beliefs!!

Thanks again for the many suggestions on how to handle this!

 

[StevenFrancis]

See Mark 8:38