S
SeanF1989
Guest
Should we wait for an apology from someone who has hurt us or should we automatically forgive them?
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
- Status
- Not open for further replies.
N
Nate13
Guest
If by forgive you mean the above then yes you should do so without them asking.Stop feeling resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.
J
Jaypeeto4
Guest
Well, I’m sure the above answer is correct.
BUT, we have to be careful.
Forgiving, but careful.
Remember, God forgives us freely, even of our mortal sins, but as Catholic Christians, to get and receive that forgiveness, we DO have to repent and confess and intend to try to right the wrong to the best of our ability.
Without that, forgiveness is kind of a joke. (( I am talking about high-handed offenses against another, here, not minor insults or even serious things that the person truly had no intention of doing or causing to happen )). We are “forgiving” someone who uses that forgiveness to KEEP on deliberately harming others.
Should we, personally, forgive the offender, interiorly, — I think so, yes. Even if he or she has not apologized or repented.
BUT, in some cases, to EXPRESS that forgiveness OPENLY to the Offender, if he or she is a calculating, deliberate, repeat harmer of others,
could be dangerous – to YOU and to the offender, because it COULD, possibly,
actually have the effect of HARDENING them in their Sins and Evil Deeds because
your EXPRESSING of forgiveness to them in an utterly remorseless state
could make them FEEL even more convinced they are entitled to do the things wrong
that they are doing. That’s what I mean by, “be careful.”
If you find out that your babysitter has been BEATING your children, to use an extreme example, you’d better fire her, and report her to the authorities, not out of meanness or vengefulness, but because this person is DANGEROUS to children and WILL very likely abuse and beat OTHER small ones that she babysits. You DON’T just say “I forgive you” to such a sociopath, and let it go at that. She is dangerous and would be all the more hardened in her very harmful behavior.
And forgiving a person who has been beating your small children, would be very
difficult, even interiorly, to do. You’d have to ASK GOD for the EXTRA grace needed to even DO it, in such a case.
BUT, we have to be careful.
Forgiving, but careful.
Remember, God forgives us freely, even of our mortal sins, but as Catholic Christians, to get and receive that forgiveness, we DO have to repent and confess and intend to try to right the wrong to the best of our ability.
Without that, forgiveness is kind of a joke. (( I am talking about high-handed offenses against another, here, not minor insults or even serious things that the person truly had no intention of doing or causing to happen )). We are “forgiving” someone who uses that forgiveness to KEEP on deliberately harming others.
Should we, personally, forgive the offender, interiorly, — I think so, yes. Even if he or she has not apologized or repented.
BUT, in some cases, to EXPRESS that forgiveness OPENLY to the Offender, if he or she is a calculating, deliberate, repeat harmer of others,
could be dangerous – to YOU and to the offender, because it COULD, possibly,
actually have the effect of HARDENING them in their Sins and Evil Deeds because
your EXPRESSING of forgiveness to them in an utterly remorseless state
could make them FEEL even more convinced they are entitled to do the things wrong
that they are doing. That’s what I mean by, “be careful.”
If you find out that your babysitter has been BEATING your children, to use an extreme example, you’d better fire her, and report her to the authorities, not out of meanness or vengefulness, but because this person is DANGEROUS to children and WILL very likely abuse and beat OTHER small ones that she babysits. You DON’T just say “I forgive you” to such a sociopath, and let it go at that. She is dangerous and would be all the more hardened in her very harmful behavior.
And forgiving a person who has been beating your small children, would be very
difficult, even interiorly, to do. You’d have to ASK GOD for the EXTRA grace needed to even DO it, in such a case.
M
marthagreys
Guest
Harboring unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Forgiveness is about how you choose to respond/behave, not about the other person.
Forgiving and accepting and apology are not the same thing.
Forgiving and accepting and apology are not the same thing.
R
robwar
Guest
Jesus said from the cross “Father forgive them, they know not what they do”
He didn’t wait for the apology. Forgiveness isn’t always very easy when you have been hurt but it’s the cornerstone of our faith. Sometimes it is a process such as Joseph and his brothers. In thinking about this subject, I reflect on St. Maria Grotti who forgave the boy who tried to rape her and then stabbed her to death. I think she said before she died that she forgave him and wanted Alphonso to be with her in heaven. He did later convert in jail and became a monk and was with her mother at the canonization. We often think of forgiveness as an emotion but it is more an act of the will at first. The most healing thing to do when suffered from a wrong is to forgive. as pointed out, forgiveness doesn’t mean not to seek justice in a court of law. sometimes it is a process.
St. Maria Grotti thank you for your example of forgiveness, help us to forgive as you did the person who caused your death. it resulted in his conversion. Help us in our struggle to forgive.
He didn’t wait for the apology. Forgiveness isn’t always very easy when you have been hurt but it’s the cornerstone of our faith. Sometimes it is a process such as Joseph and his brothers. In thinking about this subject, I reflect on St. Maria Grotti who forgave the boy who tried to rape her and then stabbed her to death. I think she said before she died that she forgave him and wanted Alphonso to be with her in heaven. He did later convert in jail and became a monk and was with her mother at the canonization. We often think of forgiveness as an emotion but it is more an act of the will at first. The most healing thing to do when suffered from a wrong is to forgive. as pointed out, forgiveness doesn’t mean not to seek justice in a court of law. sometimes it is a process.
St. Maria Grotti thank you for your example of forgiveness, help us to forgive as you did the person who caused your death. it resulted in his conversion. Help us in our struggle to forgive.
- Status
- Not open for further replies.