A question about godparent selection

[zosch]

My husband and I will be confirmed this Easter (yay!!) and are soon having our toddler baptized. We spoke with our deacon about it last night after mass, and he gave us a list of things to consider and take care of before choosing the baptism date. Among those was the selection of godparents. He explained that you would usually choose a Catholic couple for this role, but that it’s OK if only one of the godparents is Catholic.

Because we are in a very small parish and have only become close to our RCIA teachers (a very kind couple in their mid-to-late 60s) and the deacon & his wife (also 60+, and who have provided AMAZING guidance), we feel that they are the only appropriate candidates to be our daughter’s godparents. And of those two couples, our RCIA leaders know us the best and have spent some time with us outside of church.

My question (or concern?) is that we have only gone to our church since the end of this past August, and really only have fairly strong relationships with these two older couples. Is it appropriate to ask a couple of older age to be godparents for your child? They will only be godparents in the sense that they will be examples and guides in her spiritual life. They wouldn’t be responsible for her care if something should happen to us - we decided my husband’s sister and her family would be best for that role.

At the moment, I am leaning most heavily toward our RCIA teachers, since they have already engaged with our daughter some and are really shining examples of a Catholic family, and they actually live very nearby. I think they would be flattered by the proposition, but I am really lost on how appropriate it is to ask them to take on the role! Remember - my husband and I are very new to the faith and don’t have any strongish relationships with any Catholics other than these kind people.

Looking forward to your advice and thoughts thank you xx

 

[1ke]

He explained that you would usually choose a Catholic couple for this role, but that it’s OK if only one of the godparents is Catholic.

Actually, the canons call for one sponsor for baptism with the option of two-- one of each sex. There isn’t any requirement that they be a “couple”. They could be two completely unrelated people that don’t know each other.

And, as your deacon mentioned one Catholic sponsor is required, but you could have a Christian witness to the baptism as well.

Is it appropriate to ask a couple of older age to be godparents for your child?

Sure. My mother is my niece’s godparent (so grandma is the godparent).

They wouldn’t be responsible for her care if something should happen to us - we decided my husband’s sister and her family would be best for that role.

It’s a fairly common myth that godparents are responsible for raising a child if you die. This isn’t true canonically, and it certainly isn’t true in civil law. So there is no expectation in that regard. You should establish guardianship via a will or other sort of legal document.

I am really lost on how appropriate it is to ask them to take on the role! Remember - my husband and I are very new to the faith and don’t have any strongish relationships with any Catholics other than these kind people.

It is appropriate. If they don’t feel they can take on the responsibility, they’ll tell you.

 

[jvickers]

Here’s irony for you… My mother is going through RCIA and will be baptized this Easter (yay!). My wife and I are her sponsors and will be her god parents.That is apparently allowed.

 

[zosch]

I think I may have misunderstood the deacon, or misquoted him because your explanation of the canon does sound quite like what he explained to us. Thank you for the clarification and advice. I’m trying not to have anxiety about the process - I just want to be respectful and understand the tradition.

 

[zosch]

Wow, that’s actually really neat! That reminds me of our deacon and his son, who is a priest. He told us a story about one of his son’s visits home. When he came downstairs one morning, he greeted his dad by saying, “Good morning, my son!” And naturally our deacon responded, “Good morning, Father!”