A question about marital relations during pregnancy

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JessErickson

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I am currently 27 weeks pregnant and my husband and I are so thrilled to be expecting our first baby girl.

One thing that we both noticed as the pregnancy went on is that the frequency of the conjugal act declined simply because neither of us felt any sort of arousal. We talked about this lack of drive in both of us openly and freely and were glad that we were on the same page, and confronted the fact that we were both wondering if something was wrong with us for not wanting/needing it.

We are a young couple–I’m 23 and he’s 28–so this seems to be an unusual thing. We have a healthy relationship in which we connect frequently throughout the day and spend long hours at night having intellectual conversations about our spiritual lives and reading spiritual books together. We are very good at communicating and share everything with one another.

I’m wondering if, when both parties have no interest in the marital act (probably due to the pregnancy?) and are fulfilling other forms of intimacy through emotional and romantic connection, is it okay to abstain from sex? It seems that normally whenever a couple is not having sex, articles suggest ways to “get in the mood” or whatever but is it necessary to do that if neither of us is withholding it from the other? I’m not sure what the Church teaches here.

I’ve tried searching online for others in this same position but I’ve only been able to find articles about the woman being uninterested in sex, not both parties, or articles about old people! Thank you for your responses 🙂
 
Personally I wouldn’t worry about it. Our society is so hyper-sexualized that what you’re experiencing is probably just normality. 🙂
 
There is no requirement for you to engage in the conjugal act.

The problem arises when one wants to exercise their right and the other doesn’t— that is when suggestions on getting “in the mood” may be helpful to the spouse that isn’t in the mood. If you are in mutual agreement, everything is fine.
 
JessErickson said:
I’m wondering if, when both parties have no interest in the marital act (probably due to the pregnancy?) and are fulfilling other forms of intimacy through emotional and romantic connection, is it okay to abstain from sex?
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There is no compulsion for a married couple to have sex. But one party ought not deny the other party unreasonably.
 
Hi jess I’m 24 weeks today! How are you finding it all? Also first baby 🙂
 
Hello and congratulations!! I am doing really well so far luckily! How are you?
 
Yes not too bad - some anxiety, and some pelvic pain but other than that I’m great thank you. I’ll keep an eye on you over the weeks see how you go 🙂
 
Waiting a child is a special time, and some women would have no change of desire, some would have increase in desire and others would have decrease of desire. For both physical and emtional reasons.

Men can spend through a lot emotionally too, and all don’t see their pregnant wife the same manner.

It is not a problem as you both feel the same way, and always share many others relationship aspects together.
 
Oh that’s good to hear! We’ll be due right around the same time! I definitely feel the anxiety haha. I’ve been trying to offer it up to God and not think too much about it, but it’s difficult. Thank you so much for your kindness and please pray for me! I’ll pray for you too 🙂
 
Thank you for your response! It is a relief to know there isn’t something wrong with us haha 😅:grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes: God bless you!
 
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