A question for women using NFP

  • Thread starter Thread starter Nicole_Jacobsma
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
N

Nicole_Jacobsma

Guest
Hello,

This is my first post here, and I’m hoping there are some women here that are in their child-bearing years and who can relate to my question.

Yes, I’m Catholic. Yes, I’ve been on birth control for 2 years. And yes…I feel bad about that because I know Church teachings. I got married a year ago to a non-Catholic, but he just started going through RCIA, so he’s on his way. At this point…we don’t want children yet. We are thinking we will be financially and emotionally ready in about 2 years. If it happened, it would happen and we would live, but we are very young (only 23) and want some time just us first. I decided to go on birth control because I was afraid. It seems that 1 mistake reading charts can change our lives.

However, for the past couple of months, I’ve been contemplating getting rid of it. I hate putting the hormones into my body, fear not being able to get pregnant once I want to, and also am uncomfortable with the lack of integrity knowing Church teaching. My husband is super uncomfortable with me going off of it. We are both afraid of NFP, especially because I just decided to start a teaching career and will have very low job stability for the next 2 years. Well, I just got a call from the pharmacy who told me that they stopped making my birth control. So now I have to put my body through switching (which made me so emotionally unstable for about a year), or I go off of it. I have never met anyone who has been successful with NFP, and guess I’m just looking for some women who have been-and some advice on next steps if I decide to just not refill a prescription.
 
My advice:
  1. Take instruction and learn a method from a teacher. Different methods work well with different lifestyles. Sympto-thermal, Billings, Creighton, and Marquette are the four main methods. Find an instructor in your area.
  2. You will need prolonged abstinence to switch. First, several months for the hormones to leave your body and your natural fertility signs to return, and then several months to learn the method and build chart history and confidence.
  3. Abstaining isn’t the end of the world. But of course, you must both be on board with it.
  4. There are many people on this board who’ve used NFP long term to avoid. You will get a lot of different people chiming in, from those that say it doesn’t work to those who have been successful for two decades and more. I will say that your seriousness of reasons for avoiding are directly proportionate to how seriously and strictly you follow your method. The last few people on here who’ve posted about “oops” babies also clearly stated they had sex when they knew they were fertile. So, not an “oops” at all as that is what happens when you have sex-- babies occur.
So, the best advice is to take instruction, build up charting history, and abstain until you are confident in the method.
 
I agree with 1ke’s post.

We learned from a teaching couple in our area at the time, and learned the Sympto-thermal method. With this particular method, you can cross-check all three signs of fertility: basal body temperature, position of cervix/cervical signs during your cycle, and signs of vaginal mucus, which also changes during your cycle.

The classes were offered through the Archdiocese then, and there were fees for the book and the materials/charts that went with them.

We went for so many classes over a period of time, and then as part of the fee that we paid, we could have follow-up time with the teaching couple if we had any questions. We could call them for help if we needed to.

Like 1ke mentioned, there are other methods that are out there.

You can read up about them online, and then look into them to see which one you would want to try.
 
If you are looking forward to having kids in just a couple years anyway, and your reason to avoid aren’t really serious, then it seems to me there could be no better time in life to learn. If you are anxious, you probably don’t want to wait until you are at you maximum capacity in your home or income level or you have a serious medical reason to avoid. We’ve used the Crieghton method for over four years now and it’s worked really well. I’ve found the signs really easy to read and understand and we haven’t had any unplanned pregnancies. (Although 18 months of that time probably don’t count since we had planned pregnancies.)

Speaking of which, the other benefit to NFP is the ability to fairly accurately time your pregnancies. Like, say you’re in a profession where you have off for several weeks during the year and you want to plan your delivery for right before that time period so you have more time at home with baby before you have to go back. (hint hint)

I would go ahead and take the plunge. Your chances of NFP failing aren’t significantly different than the chances of your ABC failing and the worse thing that could happen is you get a beautiful baby a year earlier than you had anticipated.
 
1ke’s post is right on. I practice the sympto-thermal method, which we learned prior to our marriage. I have never gotten pregnant when I knew I was infertile. However, abstinence can be difficult and we have often decided not to avoid when fertile, which has led to pregnancies. A lot of people like the marquette method with a fertility monitor, and the creighton method has medical professionals directly affiliated with it. I don’t know much about the billings method, other than it uses stickers and is a mucus only method.
 
Thank you for replying. It’s good to hear others who have actually used this. I learned about the Billings method when doing marriage prep and it seemed very…easy to mess up. Our previous parish recommended the sympto-thermal method through Couple to Coiple League so we might try that.
 
My husband and I are Protestants, planning to join the Church this Easter. We used a barrier method for quite sometime up until we became convinced of the Catholic faith. We also have five kids already, so we really were scared to do NFP, because another child right now would be too much. But we got the Lady Comp and what I like about it is that it does everything for you, so the possibility of error is quite low. I was nervous at first, but I am comfortable with it now. It’s been about 3-4 months that I’ve been using it, I think.
 
We had our first child four months ago, and are currently switching methods, as postpartum sympto-thermal just seemed odd for us. We have been abstinent since shortly before our baby was born. While it isn’t easy, it is possible to do! Pray. Lots.

We conceived our (so far only) child when we knew it was absolutely possible. We thought we wanted to wait, but knew what was going on. I echo others who have posted - most “oops” babies really aren’t…there are exceptions, of course, but rare if you are truly using the method best for you.

Artificial contraception provides “oops” babies as well. There are certain industries that are quite grateful for that… 😦
 
We’ve been married nearly five years now, and have used the Marquette method for all of that time, minus my pregnancy and for a few months postpartum. (This was a planned pregnancy.) I learned before we were married, so had already been charting for several months before that time. The method uses the Clearblue Easy fertility monitor, which measures two of your hormones in urine. I like it because any method involving a thermometer does not work well for me.

People who are using contraceptives get pregnant all the time; I’d rather know when I’m ovulating anyway. For any method you decide on, I’d suggest charting for a couple of months before you are intimate so that you have some experience reading your signs.
 
Hello there! Congratulations on your new marriage, and God bless you in your openness! While I’ve never made a switch, and have only used NFP for several months (first to avoid after the wedding, then to conceive), I can tell you that having been taught a method properly, my husband and I have felt confident in the practice.

Personally, we use the Boston Cross Check method (a sympto-hormonal), which can be one of the most conservative practices BUT because it combines tracking mucus, temp, and importantly, your body’s own hormones, there’s some objectivity. Plus, there’s a group in the process of developing progesterone test sticks–to even further p(name removed by moderator)oint when you’ve ovulated. That is all to say that there is a whole support network and advances in the practice to help a couple achieve their goal (avoid or conceive).

To start, I’d point you to a couple of resources I found helpful and not overwhelming. I’d explore iusenfp.com, which also features a little quiz that might help you discern which method to learn. Then on Facebook, there are closed, private groups with very supportive, informative members, as well as instructors who may do e-sessions. They are Facebook Groups and facebook.com/groups/nfpfans/

Also, for some perspective on the practice once you get started (not the ins and outs, which you learn from a qualified instructor), I highly recommend Simcha Fisher’s book, The Sinner’s Guide to NFP. Funny, but also solid essays on living it out.

Good luck!
 
Generic_Name said:
We had our first child four months ago, and are currently switching methods, as postpartum sympto-thermal just seemed odd for us. We have been abstinent since shortly before our baby was born. While it isn’t easy, it is possible to do! Pray. Lots.

We conceived our (so far only) child when we knew it was absolutely possible. We thought we wanted to wait, but knew what was going on. I echo others who have posted - most “oops” babies really aren’t…there are exceptions, of course, but rare if you are truly using the method best for you.

Artificial contraception provides “oops” babies as well. There are certain industries that are quite grateful for that… 😦
Click to expand...
Postpartum is difficult and mucus is crazy, I rely almost exclusively on the cervical sign postpartum, So I would have trouble with a mucus only sign but have been able to track my return of fertility each time, with my cervical sign and mucus…
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top