A Question on Wedding Programs

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I am geting married soon and I’m not sure how to handle a few things on the program.
Both of our families are protestant and we are worried they’ll misunderstand the part of our wedding where I take my bride to a statue of Mary and she says a prayer to Mary for a blessing for our marriage while Ave Maria is sung. Does anyone have a suggestion of how we could describe this in the program? I’d apreciate any help.
MOM
 
Ah, a Hispanic or Spanish wedding. Sounds lovely.

Here is the reason behind the custom you spoke of.
After the communion and blessings the bride and groom presented a bouquet of flowers to the Virgin Mary, Our Lady of Guadalupe and guardian of the marriage, symbolizing that she would watch over the couple.
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Since Our Lady and St. Joseph and Jesus are a Holy Family, asking for Mary to “watch over” the marriage is pretty logical. Who wouldn’t want to have a marriage as blessed and holy as the Virgin’s and St. Joseph’s? Who better to give an example of marriage, who better for the bride to emulate and the groom to look upon his wife as a daughter of Our Lady?

It is true that your family may not “understand” the reason for this. But I don’t understand calculus. I don’t demand that calculus “not exist”, I don’t protest that because I don’t understand it means that it is meaningless or wrong.

Or, to go even further, I obviously don’t agree with Protestantism. But I don’t get in somebody’s face, call his or her liturgy meaningless or wrong, etc. So, even if your families don’t “agree” with something at your wedding doesn’t give them a pass to criticize it. . .since YOU wouldn’t go into their church or whatever and loudly protest that the grape juice and crackers are WORTHLESS because they don’t contain the REAL PRESENCE, right?

Give them the explanation that this is a part of culture and tradition in the religious heritage you have freely chosen. They don’t HAVE to agree with it, you’re not asking them to convert, but they do have to give you the common courtesy of accepting your explanation even if they don’t agree with it, just as you do any time you walk into a non Catholic Church and see them handing out “communion”. For them, it IS communion, for us it is NOT, and that is all there is to it.

God bless you and grant you a happy marriage and loving (even if not fully understanding) in-laws.
 
Thank you for your answer. I love the way you worded the custom by saying that we are asking Mary to watch over our family. It actually isn’t a Spanish wedding, but our priest told us about this custom and we absolutely loved the idea.

As for the reason I want to correctly explain it to them is kind of like this. Some of our family were raised with catholic prejudices, these people aren’t coming to the wedding and there’s not a whole lot we can do about them. Most of our family are simply ignorant of Catholic beliefs. They may have been told that we are idol worshipers or Marian worshiper, but they have an open mind. These are the people I am worried about it. I am afraid that without explanation the will get the wrong idea of my bride saying a prayer in front of Mary’s Statue.

After reading Peter 1, 3:15,16
Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope, but do it with gentleness and reverence, keeping your conscience clear, so that, when you are maligned, those who defame your good conduct in Christ may themselves be put to shame.
I feel that I HAVE to give them a simple and honest description of what we are doing, so those who are open to learning about our faith will understand.

Thanks again for your help, and blessing.

MOM
 
You’re speaking of the program (listing wedding party, order of events, etc.), which is typically handed to each guest before they’re seated. Right?

If so, I’d simply list this part of your Wedding as:

Ave Maria, Sung by
 
Ave Maria
Sung by …
At this time Jane and Peter, placing a bouquet near the statue of Mary, will offer a prayer that their home and family will be modeled on the Holy Family of Nazareth.
 
Mercygate,

**Thank you so much. That is exactly what I was hoping to get from here. It was worded perfectly. **

**Thank you also to everyone who offered sugestions. You all will be in my prayers. **

**I waited until the week of my wedding to type this program out. Bad idea, but you guys saved me. I hope you all have a great summer, and remainder of the Easter season. **

MOM
 
manonthemoon said:
Mercygate,

**Thank you so much. That is exactly what I was hoping to get from here. It was worded perfectly. **

**Thank you also to everyone who offered sugestions. You all will be in my prayers. **

**I waited until the week of my wedding to type this program out. Bad idea, but you guys saved me. I hope you all have a great summer, and remainder of the Easter season. **

MOM
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Thanks MoM. Wedding Saturday? I always devote all of my prayer on Saturdays (Mass, Office – I pray all 7 hours of the LOH), meditative prayer) for the intention of all who will be married that day . . . God bless you both.
 
manonthemoon said:
I am geting married soon and I’m not sure how to handle a few things on the program.

Both of our families are protestant and we are worried they’ll misunderstand the part of our wedding where I take my bride to a statue of Mary and she says a prayer to Mary for a blessing for our marriage while Ave Maria is sung. Does anyone have a suggestion of how we could describe this in the program? I’d apreciate any help.

MOM
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that is not part of the marriage rite (neither is the unity candle) but a custom in some ethnic groups. you can leave it out if you prefer. your wife can perhaps if she wishes bring flowers and a make a private prayer to Mary before or after the wedding.

In any case, if many non-Catholic family members will be there I strongly urge you not to have a nuptial Mass or even communion since several people will necessarily be excluded. With just the marriage rite in the context of the Liturgy of the Word, you will avoid a lot of conflicts and have a beautiful wedding.
 
I think you should have a nuptial mass if you want a nuptial mass. It is YOUR wedding and YOUR marriage. The reception is for the guests.

My husband and I worded it very simply:

“Ave Maria” sung by _________

Paul and Abby dedicate their marriage with an offering of roses, to the protection and example of the Holy Family.
 
I did this at my wedding and other than our vows this was the most special part to me, i felt so connected to the Blessed Mother at that moment, as she was looking down upon me, i prayed for her to help me be a good wife, and when the time came to be a good mother. my family didnt understand it and so many people asked me about it at the reception, i just told them it was to ask her blessing on our marriage, and to watch over us. its an awesome moment for both Bride and Groom to be a part of.
 
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Princess_Abby:
I think you should have a nuptial mass if you want a nuptial mass. It is YOUR wedding and YOUR marriage. The reception is for the guests.

i agree the ceremony is about you, your groom and God, let them enjoy the reception, the ceremony is yours.
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I’m surprised to hear it is a Spanish/Mexican tradition. I didn’t know it wasn’t part of the marriage celebration and we live in an area of Ohio that is predominately German. In the last issue of Faith and Family magazine they have an area addressed to weddings. I quote from page 86 “Instead of the traditional practice of throwing the bridal bouquet, considering giving your bouquet to the Virgin Mary. Catholic brides in Mexico leave their flowers at the foot of the statue of Mary - to thank her and to ask for a blessing.” I had to go look up my sister’s program to see what we wrote in hers. After communion she had listed Blessed Mother Devotion…Hail Mary, Gentle Women (song) this was right before the recessional. I think most use Ave Marie though. ON A SIDE NOTE: don’t forget to invite Pope Benedict the 16th. I doubt if he’ll show up but the Vatican will send you a papal blessing. Pope Benedict 16, Prefettura della Casa Pontifica, 00120 Citta del Vaticano, Italia. Also consider turning the flowers from your bouquet into a rosary. Both of these suggestions are from Faith and Family magazine.
 
May you have a long, happy and fruitful marriage! We brought a small bouquet of roses to our Lady during the Offertory. We didn’t know it was an Hispanic tradition, and my hubby’s Mexican! Got some great ideas from you guys here - my son’s getting married June 3, 2006.
 
Thank you all for these wonderful ideas. Our wedding is Saturday, so it’s a little too late to invite the pope. I wish I knew about that earlier.

What we are doing is having ave maria sung (hail Mary gentle woman was a close second), while my bride takes a bouquet from my mother and her mother. Each mother will carry a small bouquet in the processional, then when it’s time for the devotional she will go and collect each, and place it by the statue of Mary and pray.

Also our priest offered the idea of tithing the wedding. Give 10 percent of our wedding’s cost to a charity opf our choice. We chose Birth Choice clinics. We are really blessed to have a father with so many wonderful traditions.

God bless you all, and again thank you.
 
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