A question regarding matchmaking and sexuality

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So I have noticed a real need in my local Catholic community for a matchmaker to help singles connect. I have also seen on a number of Catholic websites (including this one) the desire for matchmakers in the Catholic community. So I am starting to do due diligence and see if this is something I could do as a small business as a ministry to singles in the church.

What has suddenly occurred to me is if a gay Catholic individual approached me asking for help to find a gay marriage partner. ChristianMingle a Christian website in California that also has an umbrella of other dating sites such as JDate for Jewish singles lost a court case in 2016. The case was brought by a gay man who wanted to meet gay Christians. Due to many Christian churches having different theologies and also because of a CA law which said gay people could not be excluded from any service ChristianMingle was forced to offer an option for gay Christians. I live in WA state does anyone know if this could happen in our state? The fact that the Catholic Church clearly restricts marriage within the church to a man and woman would I assume help.

I could not in good conscience help a gay person find a marriage partner. The focus on the matchmaking service I was thinking of offering would be heterosexual individuals looking for a marriage partner. There is a Jewish matchmaker locally who operates helping the Orthodox Jewish community. Can anyone help?
 
joyfulandactive said:
a matchmaker to help singles connect.
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Oh my. I’m sure there is a need in places for this but nothing ever turned me off more than being formally enticed into dating. I refused all my old church’s efforts at this and absented myself from all designed activities toward such a thing. But blessings on you for caring where there is a genuine need.
 
As suggested, talk to a lawyer. In Washington state, you might be taking on more than you want to. Christian singles can join groups-- book clubs, hiking clubs, and so on, as well as various ministries in the church. I don’t know anyone who would hire a matchmaker.
Years ago, my mom signed me up for a dating service, and I met all the single Boeing employees you could want. Didn’t work out, though entertaining. I think the Holy Spirit is better at this.
 
Are you talking about doing this for money or just out of kindness?
 
That’s a good question TheLittleLady. I’m in need of Catholic match making services and catholic match is weak here. I live in a beautiful place but the surrounding population is very low. I’ve also been banned from the young adult group because I mentioned dating one evening to a females brother. I asked him if it would be a good idea to ask his sister to a movie or something.

Two priests took different sides in the whole thing. My confessor said “go back and give them heck” while a different priest though it best for me not to return. I’ve gone looking in various bars and met tons of dangerous “street” women as a result (no sex thankfully).

Mormons (LDS) have a great system, they have things called “stakes” where everyone around the same ages meet. They “hope” and are allowed to be a match maker. I went to a few mormon events for it but didn’t meet a match. Still, not even being a member yet, the gentleman who was their bishop said he could help me “make a match.” And no, they won’t do that for gays.

Prayers are out to saint valentine and Saint Jude regarding my love life. Single since ‘13
 
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CatholicSpirit said:
they have things called “stakes” where everyone around the same ages meet
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The LDS “Stake” is the equlvilent of a Catholic parish. The stakes hold events in the same way a parish would, not all stake events are singles mixers. Of course they will invite you, their hope is to convert you to Mormonism through “missionary dating”.
 
Well I’m still no wiser on the answer to the original question, I have to do more research. However regarding matchmaking I spoke for 2 hours to a local Jewish matchmaker and it was very interesting. Of course I would only be offering services to those who actually would like a matchmaker (more power to those that are finding a partner through apps and other means). A matchmaker is for those who would like to have potential partners prescreened so that they know the person they will meet will be the same person as the photo on their profile and that they are also ready for a committed relationship leading to marriage.

The Jewish matchmaker told me many of her clients are men in their 30s and 40s who thought they would be married by now and don’t mind “outsourcing” this part of their lives because they are very busy and are not finding the kind of women that want to settle down. I have just found recently a number of Catholic men and women who are very frustrated and demoralized at not having found a marriage partner. In terms of how I would structure the service that is something I am still researching. It feels like the Lord has put this in front of me and brought it to my attention so I am spending time in prayer and hope to speak to my spiritual director about it when he is available.

I personally see it as a very positive thing. When a man and woman know individually that they are ready for marriage and have only been introduced because the matchmaker’s knowledge of them both shows they have enough in common in terms of their values and what they would like in a partner, there’s a very good chance that at a minimum they should enjoy the date!

In the Jewish faith if a matchmaker has three successful matches resulting in marriage she/he is guaranteed a place in heaven! Due to the importance of marriage.

I think Catholics place just as high of an importance on marriage. It is a vocation and the route to heaven for a majority of Catholic adults. I would be very interested in also leading workshops to help singles prepare themselves for marriage by helping them reflect on what qualities we all need for marriage to be successful.

The matchmaker said that she is encountering more and more people who don’t have the patience to get to know another person.
 
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