A quiet passion

[fons_vitae]

Question: I’ve been dating a girl with whom I’m very compatible, particularly on an emotional, intellectual, and spiritual level. And physically, she’s certainly cute… but I don’t feel as much physical spark as I would with other (and more harmful) relationships in the past. I’m thinking that this will wear off, though, since I think my desires may have been a bit warped by my habits of pornography and impurity (although these are changing, slowly).

So I wonder… does this quiet passion we have (we both enjoy cuddling, for instance) need to be increased for the relationship to last, or could this just be a side effect of my bad habits?

 

[XiWang717]

Search your heart, friend. The answer lies therein, not without.

 

[mountee]

That’s the problem with pornography, who can possibly compare to that? In all fairness, why don’t you resolve your pornography problem before you commit to a relationship that will eventually be ruined by that addiction. In addition to everything you already know from our Catholic teaching, pornography destroys marriages everyday. God bless you.

 

[fons_vitae]

That’s the problem with pornography, who can possibly compare to that? In all fairness, why don’t you resolve your pornography problem before you commit to a relationship that will eventually be ruined by that addiction. In addition to everything you already know from our Catholic teaching, pornography destroys marriages everyday. God bless you.

Welp, I’ve been “working on” these issues for about 13 years since I first stumbled upon it, so it’ll probably take some time. Also, I’ve discovered that I’m much worse in isolation versus when I’m in relation with others… I’m far more at peace with whether I’m single or in a relationship now, but I seriously doubt that me being single in my teenage years really did that much good for my incurvatus in se addictions.

 

[fons_vitae]

Search your heart, friend. The answer lies therein, not without.

The more that I think about it, I really do think it’s just my sexuality realigning itself. At least my will is opposed to the absurdity of pornography/impurity even if I don’t always put that into practice.

 

[bellsonhertoes]

As a girl, I will weigh in here and say that if you don’t think you like her, step back now. Even if it is a time thing, or a space thing, so that you can get your head on straight, regardless of the underlying things. Because if you don’t have passion for her, it hurts way more to find out that someone is breaking up with you because they can’t love you that way the longer the relationship is drawn out. If you take space, at least she has the chance to know something is going on.

 

[fons_vitae]

… Eh, I realize I wrote the first post more from the position of lust than actual beauty… and also, a lack of sleep didn’t help >.< … never mind…

 

[englishredrose]

Question: I’ve been dating a girl with whom I’m very compatible, particularly on an emotional, intellectual, and spiritual level. And physically, she’s certainly cute… but I don’t feel as much physical spark as I would with other (and more harmful) relationships in the past. I’m thinking that this will wear off, though, since I think my desires may have been a bit warped by my habits of pornography and impurity (although these are changing, slowly).

So I wonder… does this quiet passion we have (we both enjoy cuddling, for instance) need to be increased for the relationship to last, or could this just be a side effect of my bad habits?

Being able to talk to your girlfriend will help make the relationship last longer. You don’t need to be strongly physically active for it to be a successful relationship. Quiet passion is far healthier than the strong desire which could also be lust and bad habit in its disguise. Quiet passion will get you further. But what you need to work out is - apart from that, where is this relationship going anyway? Time will be your main answer and how well you both talk to one another about things.

Good luck

 

[surfinpure]

As hard as this might be to hear, a man who has not completely given up pornography is not truly “available” for dating or marriage. I’m sure you don’t mean to do this, but* it is unfair to the other person* to market yourself as marriageable while you are addicted to something, *especially *pornography.

For the sake of your soul above all else, and then for your future spouse (if that is God’s will), do whatever it takes to break the addiction now.

Saying a prayer for you now.